Listener Stories: Vol. 97

Stories:

1: The time I accidentally became a cryptid in my small town - Katie (She/her)
2: My encounter with an unknown entity from the home of the Hodag! - Katie (she/her)
3: Backrooms stairs - Elizabeth (she/her)
4: Actual Backrooms Story (Hospital) - Rebekah
5: I pooped in a haunted bathroom on my honeymoon - Kaitlin (she/her)
6: Visiting hours in the afterlife and my friend the cowboy - Anna (she/her)

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Happy November, Boozers and Shakers! Well, happy early November, and while we’re on the topic, please go vote. We literally just Google “how to vote”, “where am I?” and “who am I?”  so that should cover all your bases. But onto the stories! This month we have some fun and haunting tales about staircases to nowhere, hospital backrooms, invented cryptids and more! Join us before all the big family gatherings full of food and weird relatives, although, wait, we did just eat an entire rotisserie chicken in a cemetery… and that’s why we drink!

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Transcript

[intro music]

Em: [sighs] Oy.

Christine: Well, folks. Halloween is over. But you know what?

Em: Whomp, whomp, whomp. Hang on.

Christine: [laughs]

Em: Pick a color ’cause I never remember which one it is.

Christine: Green.

[whomp, whomp, whomp sound effect plays]

Christine: [gasps] I did it.

Em: Is that the one?

Christine: That was the one. Um, it’s Day of the Dead though today – Día de los Muertos. So happy Day of the Dead. Um, feels like a special day today. Actually, this day, Em?

Em: Mm-hmm?

Christine: When this comes out? It just occurred to me, I’m getting, um, my Level 2 and 3 Reiki attunements. [laughs]

Em: Look at you.

Christine: I signed up last night.

Em: [applauds] Good for you. I’m very excited.

Christine: Thank you. I’m excited too. And it’s all virtual, so I don’t know h– what it’ll be like. But, um, it’s, it’s the start of a new month, folks, for all of us. So.

Em: Yes, uh, and also, by the way, because we said this at the bottom of the last episode that we recorded–

Christine: [gasps]

Em: –so we should do it at the top of this episode–

Christine: Yes! Yes!

Em: –and we have a few days left before the world is either at peace for a moment or it is terribly not. Uh, please go vote. Please go vote. Uh–

Christine: Yeah, I don’t think we can promise peace no matter what happens ’cause, um, the world is sort of, you know, um, in flames right now. But you know what? We can at least throw a wrench into those gears, right? Like come on. Let’s, let’s vote. Um, Em is right. You can, uh, just do a little, little– Fill it out with a pencil. You know how to do that.

Em: Little scratch, scratch, scratch. Dot, dot, dot.

Christine: You’re in. Don’t worry. Google it. That’s what I did. Just google “where can I vote” and, uh– “Who am I? Where can I vote? Where should I go?” And they’ll tell you everything. It’s, it’s easy. If you are above the age of 18, you’re a US citizen, please, please, please vote. Um, it doesn’t feel like much, but if you think about like everyone listening to this podcast. If they all voted, that would be a tremendous amount. So–

Em: Yes, yes.

Christine: Just to brag about how many listeners we have. [laughs] No, I’m kidding. Um, but please.

Em: [laughs] Which means there’s so many people to commiserate with if we don’t all get together and vote–

Christine: Yeah, yeah. Right, right.

Em: –and something happens, so.

Christine: And think about how crummy you’ll feel if it’s really close and it goes in the wrong direction.

Em: Imagine if one day they say, “We were only one vote away.”

Christine: One vote. One vote away.

Em: And you could have been that one vote, so.

Christine: You could have been, but you didn’t want to pick up a pencil.

Em: Ugh.

Christine: For shame.

Em: For shame. So, anyway, please go vote. Other than that, I hope everyone had a happy Halloween. Uh, happy– Merry Samhain. And, uh, happy day le– Día de los Muertos. What else are we doing? What else is going on? November– We’re coming up on turkey season.

Christine: Mm. We got some big holidays food-related coming up. I’m amped.

Em: And our tour is, uh, coming up. In– A– When this comes out, we’ll only have five weeks left to tour. We’ll have two–

Christine: Oh my god.

Em: –two legs left, I think? So.

Christine: This is crazy.

Em: Uh, anyway, I hope everyone is– Get your tickets to our show. Have fun with your family. Um, good luck with your crazy weird conservative uncle who will probably be in attendance.

Christine: Yeah.

Em: Um, especially after the election. I hope–

Christine: Oh god.

Em: –all of you are doing okay.

Christine: Yeah, we’ll be in Texas two days after the election. So good luck!

Em: I’m aware. I’m aware. [laughs]

Christine: Oh, I’m telling them, not you. I know you’re aware. [laughs]

Em: Oh. [laughs] I’m–

Christine: I’m telling the audience.

Em: –I’m also saying I, I wonder– based on how, how everything turns out, how everything shakes out what, what being in Texas will be like that d– at that moment in life.

Christine: We’ll find out. At least we’ll be surrounded by safe people that listen to our show, so.

Em: That’s true.

Christine: Yeah.

Em: We’ll all maybe have a really big reason to drink. Uh–

Christine: We’ll all cry together.

Em: Other than that, we’ve got some listener stories for you to warm you into the season.

Christine: Mm-hmm.

Em: Uh, because now it’s officially w– au–

Christine: W-we’re getting–

Em: –autumn going into winter, so.

Christine: Yeah, we’re like– Past Halloween it feels like winter time already to me. [laughs]

Em: Cozy season.

Christine: Yes.

Em: Versus– Officially cozy season.

Christine: That's right.

Em: So, would you like to go first? Or would you like to go second?

Christine: Um, it’s up to you. How ‘bout you go first while I try to open the link?

Em: Oh, beautiful. Okay. Well, for those of you who are new here, this is our Listeners’ episodes. We put out Listeners’ Stories at the first of every month. You can submit your own personal true crime and/or paranormal story if you’d like at our website andthatswhywedrink.com. And we have, uh, a nice little handful for you this November 1.

Christine: Mm-hmm.

Story 1 – The Time I Accidentally Became a Cryptid in My Small Town

Em: This one comes from Katie who uses she/her pronouns. Thank you for normalizing pronouns, Katie. And the title is– Ope! The title is “The Time I Accidentally Became a Cryptid in My Small Town.”

Christine: I love that you started with “ope!” which feels like exactly the right–

Em: [laughs]

Christine: Ope! The time I accidentally became a cryptid, oopsie.

Em: Which I l– So in Massachusetts in S– Uh, in Salem, there’s the Joshua Ward House–

Christine: Mm-hmm.

Em: –which you and I have stayed in as a hotel.

Christine: Oh, right.

Em: And at one point– At one point, it was an office, and there was like an office party, and someone took a picture of–

Christine: [gasps]

Em: Someone took polaroids of everyone at the party, and when they ended up looking at the pictures, one woman– They were like, “We don’t recognize her. She looks like a fucking witch.” Can you imagine if you accidentally– Maybe this is your story, Katie. Maybe you were the office cryptid because your hair just looked bad that day–

Christine: [sighs] Uh.

Em: –and the polaroid came out weird.

Christine: And everyone is like, “We don’t know her.” Well, yeah. She works in HR. Nobody talks to her.

Em: [laughs]

Christine: Just like, “She just appeared in the photos. We all thought she was a ghost, but she really worked in HR.”

Em: That’s the only other version I’ve heard of someone becoming a cryptid in their small town.

Christine: But I think that was actually a ghost, right?

Em: They– We still– They, they called her–

Christine: They didn’t determine who that was?

Em: –the witch of the Joshua Ward House.

Christine: Right, right, right. So that wasn’t– It didn’t actually end up being a person that we can pinpoint.

Em: We don’t know, yeah.

Christine: Right.

Em: So ma– At least we have confirmation from Katie on, on their story, so.

Christine: Yeah, did you brush your hair that day, Katie?

Em: [laughs]

Christine: ’Cause it seems like that was a big part of the story.

Em: Are you in HR, Katie?

Christine: Yeah. [laughs]

Em: Um, okay. So here we go. Uh, “Hello to everyone! This is the story of how my best friend and I sparked the legend of banshees in our local cemetery.”

Christine: [chuckles]

Em: “My best friend and I would have sleepovers all the time during high school. And as this was back in the early 2000s, it was still socially acceptable for two younger– uh, for two young teenage girls to wander around a small town at 3 a.m.” I don’t know if it was socially acceptable then, Katie, but I see what you mean. That it was, um–

Christine: I mean, it was maybe not socially acceptable, but I certainly partake– partook.

Em: I certainly did it. So yeah, I get what you mean.

Christine: Yeah, especially in the cemetery.

Em: “Our favorite place to walk was a small nature preserve that had a trail leading straight through into a local cemetery.”

Christine: Mm.

Em: “The cemetery is closed at night, but that never stopped us.” I totally get your vibe, Katie.

Christine: Same.

Em: “Now, when I say cemetery, I’m not talking about a square plot of land with perfectly lined up headstones. This cemetery is very old and built up in the sand dunes and is sprawling.”

Christine: [gasps]

Em: “Little nooks in between groupings of trees with a handful of headstones here, an open area with a large bunch of crypts over there–“

Christine: Eugh!

Em: “–a paranormal enthusiast’s wet dream.” [laughs]

Christine: [laughs] Yuck, but okay.

Em: “There, there was even a rickety staircase built on the side of a hill–“

Christine: [gasps]

Em: “–that led up to where the founder of our town was buried with his family.” I love the dramatics of that.

Christine: I love the dramatics.

Em: I would also love to be buried on a hill that requires a staircase, and people have to–

Christine: A rickety staircase.

Em: People have to work for it to come see me.

Christine: Yeah, that’s right. And then no one will just come see you, and then you’ll feel like crap.

Em: And then I’ll feel at peace, but I won’t feel like it’s my fault. I’ll be like–

Christine: That’s true.

Em: I’ll be like, “You know what? They could if they wanted to, but until then, I’m just gonna do what I want.”

Christine: “I’m just gonna be a-alone up here.”

Em: “Our normal nightly strolls would take us through the park and into the cemetery, uh, where we’d wander around for a bit, maybe sit on the steps that all the kids in town referred to as ‘the staircase to hell’ and consume an entire rotisserie chicken and some candy.” That sounds like what me and my mom did all the time.

Christine: Wow, I was gonna say. I feel like this is weirdly familiar. Maybe all of us at that same age just also did those things.

Em: Katie, were you a child of divorce because I feel like, um–

Christine: This feels right, yeah.

Em: –anyone I know who w– had a single parent, a lot of times your dinner was just a full rotisserie chicken in a bag, and you just picked at it like a vulture.

Christine: Sometimes you just went and ate it somewhere.

Em: Sometimes you just ate it in a cemetery with your friend–

Christine: Outside.

Em: –brought some candy. Actually to– That might be what I do tonight when I go to Allison’s kickball game.

Christine: I was gonna say, that actually sounds like a good plan.

Em: [laughs] It sounds great.

Christine: Yeah.

Em: “This particular night– particular night though, when we got close to the base of the stairs” with our chicken–

Christine: [laughs]

Em: “–we could hear voices coming from the top of the hill.”

Christine: Uh-oh.

Em: Which is where the founder is buried.

Christine: Right.

Em: “As we got closer, we were able to see that there was a faint light coming from the top of the hill as well. My best friend and I decided to silently climb the stairs and see what was going on.”

Christine: You’re brave.

Em: “Ooh, let me tell you. We found what looked like three 7th to 8th grade kids and one who looked barely old enough to drive standing in a circle.”

Christine: [laughs] They’re trying to do some séance or something?

Em: They’re doing “Ring Around the Rosie” or a séance.

Christine: [laughs] Or drugs.

Em: Or drugs. [laughs] “They were surrounding mul– They were surrounding multiple black Yankee Candles and what I’m guessing was supposed to be a salt–drawn pentagram but was actually a Star of David.”

Christine: No…

Em: “They were trying–“ This is literally you, me, and Renée having a–

Christine: This is absur– In like 7th grade. Yeah, this is absurd.

Em: –a 12-year-old séance.

Christine: Like, “Oh, black candles? I think Linda bought some half price at the, at the mall. Some Yankee Candle–“

Em: “We have a licorice-scented Bath and Bodyworks candle.”

Christine: Oh my god.

Em: “And I forget how to draw a pentagram, but this one might just be fine.”

Christine: “I think this is right, yeah.” [laughs]

Em: “They were trying to speak in tongues–“

Christine: Oh no.

Em: “–but as a long-time– as a long-time choir/church kid, we knew our Latin, and that was not it, my friends.”

Christine: Oh…

Em: “These little kids were trying to perform some kind of séance in the middle of the night in a highly patrolled area with small town cops that are s– very bored. And needless to say, we silently looked at each other, grinned, and quietly crept around the bushes to do– to the opposite side of the group from the exit to the stairs.”

Christine: Correct, correct.

Em: “Once we got to the other side, and the wannabe mediums’ chant, uh, reached an epic high, my best friend and I let out a deafening and dissonant screech.”

Christine: Stop it.

Em: “I have never seen someone run so fast. I’m pretty sure at least one of them may have wet themselves.”

Christine: They pissed their pants, for sure.

Em: “We got a good laugh out of watching them run away and got some nice Yankee Candles out of it as well.”

Christine: Oh, hey! Mom was like, “Where did my Yankee Candles go?” And her kid’s like, “I don’t wanna talk about it.”

Em: [laughs] I like how a robbery was committed here, but we’re on the side of the robber.

Christine: Yeah, big time.

Em: “After we had finished brushing away the salt and gathering what items we could, we heard the sirens. Apparently, one of the houses bordering the cemetery heard the commotion and called the police.”

Christine: Oh my god. Talk about small town.

Em: Wow, so now you’re actually accidentally on the run.

Christine: Yeah.

Em: “We didn’t have time to run back to the car, so we ended up running into the woods and hiding for two hours because we no longer hea– until we no longer heard the cops.”

Christine: You hid from the cops ’cause you screamed so loud it scared a bunch of teenager– [laughs] This is so funny.

Em: [laughs] “For almost two years after that–“

Christine: By the way, what happened to the chicken? Do you still have it? Did you eat it already?

Em: Yeah.

Christine: I hope you got to eat the chicken.

Em: I hope you didn’t like Scooby-Doo fling it into the air when you ran away.

Christine: Me too. That’s what I’m worried about.

Em: “For almost two years after that–“ Okay, so this is how they became the local cryptids, remember?

Christine: [gasps] Yep.

Em: “For almost two years after that, you would hear stories whispered through the halls of our school: ‘Don’t go to the cemer– cemetery at night–‘“

Christine: No.

Em: “‘–or the banshees will steal your soul.’” Wow. “Thanks for reading–“

Christine: That must feel so good.

Em: “Thanks for ea– reading my story, and I hope it made you chuckle! Thanks for all your stories and general tomfoolery. Um, TLDR: rotisserie chicken is best eaten at 3 a.m. in a cemetery, and don’t draw six-pointed stars for your séance because you might summon a banshee.” Okay, so I– Thank you, Katie, for that. I, um–

Christine: Thank you.

Em: –love that maybe at this point in time, the– one of the teenagers doing that séance–

Christine: Yeah.

Em: ’Cause you know they told everyone. They were like, “No, we really conjured a banshee.”

Christine: Yeah.

Em: I would love if they were a listener, and they’re actually hearing the behind-the-scenes.

Christine: [gasps]

Em: And they found out–

Christine: They’re like, “I once made a salt Star of David on the ground with Morton’s.”

Em: [laughs] It’s like, “Wait a minute, and I did smell rotisserie chicken behind me. Hang on.”

Christine: “Yeah, that’s weird. The banshee did smell a lot like Skittles and rotisserie chicken.”

Em: [laughs] But I mean, imagine if you foun– this is how you found out that like that story you’ve been telling everyone was actually–

Christine: [laughs]

Em: –never true? And like–

Christine: Really good.

Em: But also, uh– Yeah. I would– I–

Christine: If you’re the other part to this story, please write in. If you know anybody who might’ve done this, please. I would love to hear the other side.

Em: I love that they, um– I love that they were like, “Oh, they really–“ Like you leaned into it. Like, “Oh, let’s give them a good story.” Like if they–

Christine: Yeah, they wanted a– Right, they wanted a scare.

Em: “If they wanna summon something, like let’s give them something that they’ll remember and our town will remember for years.”

Christine: It– I mean, really you just, you just started like an actual piece of lore. That’s so cool.

Em: Beautiful.

Christine: I’m so impressed.

Em: I hope that your town starts with a B so it’s the “B– Banshees,” you know?

Christine: The “Bitterbent Banshees,” yeah. Yeah.

Em: You know what I mean?

Christine: The Barnstable Banshees.

Em: Oh! Yeah.

Christine: Mm. Okay–

Em: The Buxton Banshee.

Christine: The Buxton Banshees.

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Story 2 – My Encounter with an Unknown Entity from the Home of the Hodag!

Christine: Alright, let’s see. What do I have? Number two? Yes. Number two is from– Wait, wasn’t–? Okay. This is from Katie but a different Katie. That’s why I got mixed up. Uh–

Em: I see. I see.

Christine: Katie, she/her. It’s called “My Encounter with an Unknown Entity from the Home of the Hodag!”

Em: Beautiful.

Christine: Alright. “Hey gang! So I’m only 100 episodes into the show right now, but when I saw that you did one on the Hodag I got so excited I had to skip ahead because I’m from Rhinelander, WI.”

Em: Excellent.

Christine: I love that. “I love when our silly little cryptid gets attention outside of our small town, so seeing that was a really fun surprise. Anyway, here’s my story. This happened to me about ten years ago at the house I grew up in. I was watching TV in my bedroom at night when my dog started letting me know she needed to go outside. The neighborhood was small, and our yard was lined with pine trees, which made it feel private and a bit unnerving at night. As my dog was going, I noticed a heavy breathing sound in the distance. Initially, because our town has a paper mill that makes noise sometimes, I thought it could be that. That is until the noise started getting closer. This might sound silly, but, honest to God, the best description of the sound is something like a bear mixed with Darth Vader.” Oh my god.

Em: Oh? Bear mixed– [alternates the sounds of a bear growl and then the heavy breathing of Darth Vader]

Christine: [makes deep gravel tones in her throat and heavy breathing sounds]

Em: Yeah.

Christine: Yeah, like a more growly Darth Vader type.

Em: Yeah.

Christine: “I lived in this town my whole life and knew then that it wasn’t the paper mill. It sounded more organic, if that makes sense. It’s worth noting my dog also noticed and reacted to the sound as well.”

Em: Oop!

Christine: “Whatever it was, I could tell it was moving, like a disembodied noise I couldn’t quite pinpoint the direction of but could tell by the loudness that it was getting closer. At this point, I hurried inside because I was genuinely afraid of a large animal being nearby that could harm my small dog or me. I went back inside my bedroom and opened the window, which faced the backyard, to listen. The noise had gone from sounding like it was distantly down the street to being right in the backyard.”

Em: Mm…

Christine: “That being said, I couldn’t actually see or hear anything besides the breathing. Being October, there were crunchy leaves and twigs everywhere, but there was no sound of anything walking like you would expect with an animal. Even if it was a person trying to scare me, I would have heard some kind of movement. That’s what–“

Em: Maybe it was someone with rotisserie chickens sneaking around, trying to–

Christine: [laughs] Yeah, maybe it was a–

Em: –give you a scare.

Christine: –a Buxton Banshee. You know what I mean?

Em: [laughs]

Christine: “That’s what made it so odd. It was a disembodied breathing that was moving on its own. I turned the lights off and whispered for my mom to come in. Bef–”

Em: Aw.

Christine: “Before I even said anything, she heard the sound, gasped, and ran out of the room.”

Em: [gasps]

Christine: “Now, my mother was chronically ill at that point, and I hadn’t seen her move that quickly in years. She also grew up on an old farm surrounded by woods and came from a hunting family, so she absolutely knew what every large animal in the area sounded like. She told me she had never heard anything like that.”

Em: [sucks air in between teeth] I hate that.

Christine: I s– That’s a bad– That’s a b– You want the person in charge to be like, “Oh, that old noise?” You know?

Em: Yeah, you want like an old, an old Nigel Thornberry who–

Christine: Yes. [mimes pushing glasses up her nose, speaks in nasal voice] “Well, actually–“

Em: –knows the ins and outs. [laughs]

Christine: Yep. “I stayed in the living room with her for a while, occasionally going back in to listen. It stayed for some time, and I would peek from behind the curtains occasionally but never saw anything. Eventually, it just faded. This was also at a time where cell phones didn’t have the greatest sound or video recording. Otherwise, I would have tried to get evidence.”

Em: Mm-hmm.

Christine: “In the morning, I went outside to look around, and nothing was different about the yard. No evidence of a person or animal-like prints or droppings, and nothing was out of place or messed with. Time went on, and eventually it went to the back of our minds. About ten months later, however, I was again watching TV in my room at night. This time the window was open, and I heard that same awful breathing getting closer and watched as my dog perked up to it again as well.”

Em: Ugh.

Christine: “But unfortunately, this time I was home alone. I turned the lights off and sat out of view, peeking through the curtains.” Oh my god. This is so scary. [laughs]

Em: I would be doing the same shit though. I–

Christine: Me too.

Em: Remember when you and I peeked through the curtains at that, uh, at the theater when we thought something–

Christine: The literal theater curtains. [laughs] Like stage curtains.

Em: Yeah. When you, when you get scared and you’re near curtains, you’re gonna hide behind ‘em.

Christine: A curtain is, a curtain is great in that situation. I totally agree. “I turned the lights off and sat out of view, peeking through the curtains. Again, absolutely nothing I could see with my eyes, and no physical sound of movement, just a deep, raspy breathing noise hovering around my yard.”

Em: [sighs] Mm…

Christine: “After a while, I just decided, “Screw it,” and made sure all my windows and doors were locked and moved to the living room. There wasn’t much else I could do. Same as before, I’d occasionally go to– go in my room to check if it was still there until it just stopped. To this day, I have no idea what that was, but it still gives me the chills. I don’t know if it was supernatural, but it certainly didn’t feel normal, and I can’t think of what it possibly could have been. Who knows, maybe it was the Hodag.”

Em: Sure. Sure. Let’s hope so.

Christine: [shaky sigh] Ahhh. Um–

Em: Hope so? I don’t know.

Christine: Okay, wow. Okay. “Feels– Feel a kinship with you both ’cause, like Em, I grew up exploring abandoned homes and buildings, and like Christine, I’m a fellow IBD sufferer.” Uh, and there’s some stories for the other– for another day. So, wow. Thank you, Katie. Um, I know you said it was before time where things record, so I’m wondering if it was pre-drones. ’Cause I feel like maybe back then–

Em: Oh, interesting.

Christine: –drones had kind of a weird like [mimics mechanical motor sound]. I don’t know. I don’t know.

Em: Yeah.

Christine: I just think everyone’s always blaming drones for everything.

Em: Or maybe– [laughs] Honestly, maybe it was like some like guy with a– like a broken leaf blower or something, you know.

Christine: But like why wouldn’t he– If he’s like right outside the yard–

Em: Yeah.

Christine: –wouldn’t you see him?

Em: Oh, yeah, you’re right. I didn’t– For a second, I was like, “Maybe it was just a distant sound.” No. Yeah, I don’t know what it would have been. Or it could have been, um– You know what’s– what– We always had a really annoying fucking frog.

Christine: [gasps] [laughs]

Em: And he had like a broken voice box or something. Like the way he would croak, it sounded like a machine.

Christine: Oh my god. What if it was a frog?

Em: Can you imagine if it was just a frog that whole time? So stupid.

Christine: I mean, I’m not trying to, uh–

Em: But maybe it was the Hodag. [laughs] Maybe it was a killer, ah!

Christine: I’m just saying, I’m not trying to invalidate your story, Katie. I would be fucking terrified, so.

Em: B– Hopefully, it was a frog, so you can sleep better.

Christine: I would like to tell myself that.

Story 3 – Backrooms Stairs

Em: Um, our next story is from Elizabeth who uses she/her pronouns. Thank you for normalizing pronouns, Elizabeth. And the subject line (vague): “Backrooms Stairs.”

Christine: It’s vague but–

Em: But powerful. She’s mighty.

Christine: –powerful. Yeah.

Em: “Hello fabulous theys and shes! Uh, okay, so in October’s Listeners’ Stories, Gracie’s story about The Devil’s Staircase–“

Christine: Mm.

Em: “They were going downstairs, and two hours had passed.” Yes, I remember that.

Christine: [gasps] I remember.

Em: Where we were like, “What? H– Were they just sitting on the stairs for two hours? Were they walking for two hours?”

Christine: We’re just like talking about if it’s up or down or– [laughs]

Em: Yeah, we were really struggling with that one. “I had a similar experience of getting stuck in the Backrooms stairs - which is what I think it was.”

Christine: What? No.

Em: Eugh. “I was an older teen and performing in the corps de ballet–“ Thank you for writing out the pronunciation. Appreciate that.

Christine: [laughs]

Em: [laughs] “–of a civic company. We were performing at the Paramount Theatre in Austin, Texas - where y’all’ve performed as well.”

Christine: Hey!

Em: Which means maybe that’s where it’s gonna be. Maybe we should–

Christine: I don’t know.

Em: I mean, we’re literally about to go back to Austin. Maybe–

Christine: What was the theatre called?

Em: The Paramount.

Christine: Let me check. I know Eva somewhere is like, “It’s–“ We’re going to the State Theatre this time.

Em: Oh, okay. Maybe we should go to the Paramount anyway and just see if they have Backrooms stairs and just see what happens.

Christine: Hell yeah.

Em: “Anyway, I decided to explore while everyone else left to get dinner. And I went up to the second balcony and found a staircase at the very back of the top of the balcony.”

Christine: [gasps]

Em: “I started descending the stairs…”

Christine: Oh god.

Em: “One flight… Two flights… Three flights…”

Christine: Oh god.

Em: “Four flights… Five flights…”

Christine: No.

Em: “Six flights…” At this point, I’d be like, “If I have to go up six fucking flights, I’m–“

Christine: Forget it. Yeah, wait. Yeah, now you’re like all committed but also the more you go down, the more you’ll have to go up. That’s a good point.

Em: It’s like, “I think I’m actually stuck, now that I think about it.”

Christine: Yeah.

Em: Um. “Where was I? The stairs just kept going down. No one knew where I was.” Yeah, ’cause they’re all at dinner.

Christine: [chuckles]

Em: “I had been determined to see what was at the bottom, thinking it was probably just an emergency door, but the stairs just kept going.”

Christine: What?

Em: “I turned back and went up a grand total of three flights of stairs and arrived back at the top of the second balcony.”

Christine: Uh-uh.

Em: “Only three flights. Even though I went down six flights.”

Christine: Uh-uh.

Em: “So I thoroughly believe I got trapped br-briefly in the Backrooms, and if I had kept going down, maybe I would have eventually found an exit, but I don’t think it would have exited to the street in this world.”

Christine: [gasps] Ew! That just gave me chills.

Em: “And in the grand tradition, maybe I’ll tell you about my encounter with the Hat Man when I was three years old or maybe the city all my dreams exist in.” What?! “But that’s a story for another day.”

Christine: No!

Em: From Elizabeth.

Christine: Always teasing me with this nonsense.

Em: Ugh!

Christine: Wow. Yuck.. To go down six– I mean, and I’m not good at math. I think we can all agree on that. But to go down six flights and then go up two or three and f– be in the same spot?

Em: Yeah.

Christine: It's not right.

Em: If I went down six flights, I’m prepared to be so out of breath, and if I only did three flights of stairs, then I’m like, “Wait a minute. I should feel worse. Why am I already back here?” yeah.

Christine: Yeah. You and I are like, “Oh, well. That’s nice.”

Em: Yeah. [laughs] But like at least you found the exit–

Christine: Great, at least it we–

Em: –and then got to panic later.

Christine: Yeah, exactly. Exactly. I’m so glad you didn’t keep going. Um.

Em: Eugh.

Christine: Ew. Gives me the shivers.

Story 4 – Actual Backrooms Story (Hospital)

Christine: Um, okay. Let’s see. So this came in from Rebekah. It’s called “Actual Backrooms Story (Hospital).” Oh god.

Em: Oh my god. Another Backrooms?

Christine: Yeah.

Em: Please. Oh my god. End me. What do you mean? Okay.

Christine: Feel like I need to knock on wood or something. Also I do– I meant to say this earlier– I feel like, to me, staircases–

Em: Yeah.

Christine: –similar to elevators, are kind of like a weird portal almost sometimes.

Em: Oh, totally. I mean, this does feel like it’s a bit of a stairs-themed episode, so far.

Christine: Right? Yeah, yeah.

Em: Isn’t it?

Christine: Is it?

Em: Yeah, ’cause there’s– There was the stairs at the top of the hill where they heard a noise–

Christine: Oh, yeah.

Em: –and that’s where the thing was going. The second one, the one that you told– Well, curtains.

Christine: What was that one again?

Em: Hodag.

Christine: Oh, the Hodag. Oh, she was hi–! Oh, the curtains. [laughs]

Em: Yeah. Maybe this is just, um, a f– a furnishings in a home that you can–

Christine: I was gonna say furnishings.

Em: [laughs]

Christine: Very good. Very good.

Em: Sure, we’ll, we’ll always find a theme.

Christine: Alright. Let’s see. This is from Rebekah. Okay. "This is a doozy, so let’s crack into it! I was listening to the episode on the Backrooms theory when I suddenly felt like I had experienced this in reality. Suddenly, I had a Jimmy Neutron–like flashback–“

Em: [laughs]

Christine: First of all, I love that ’cause I feel like everyone says That’s So Raven, you know?

Em: Thank you. Yes, thank you for the reference.

Christine: But, but Jimmy Neutron is, is a good pull.

Em: Mm-hmm.

Christine: “Suddenly, I had a Jimmy Neutron-like flashback that my brain truly tried to suppress. I had been volunteering in my local hospital when I was in high school, and since I don’t like hospitals, blood, being sick… you know, things that make a hospital a hospital, I was usually placed at the front desk to help out. One day, I walk in and my placement was being covered, so I had to go to an actual floor and do rounds and drop off food. I get up there, and they ask me to go to the laundry room and get fresh linens for a patient. I had never been to the laundry room but had an idea of where I was headed. I get into a double doored elevator and ride it down. Elevator stops. I get off, only I realize it let me out the wrong way. No worries, I’ll just get back on. Nope!”

Em: [sighs] Uh-oh.

Christine: “Door would not open for anything. I figure, ‘Okay, there has to be another elevator or stairs down this hallway.’ Please picture, if you will, a long corridor that only has track lighting above, a few doors, and then turns to the right.”

Em: I actually won’t be doing that, but thank you.

Christine: [laughs] “Thank you so much for the suggestion. I will not be listening.”

Em: “Thank you for the opportunity. I won’t be taking it.”

Christine: [laughs] “I’ll be passing on that today.”

Em: [laughs]

Christine: “I start walking down this hallway for what seems like eternity and realize I haven’t even gotten to the turn yet.” Ew, this is freaking me out, man.

Em: [groans]

Christine: “I continue on and begin to hear voices and whispers behind some doors but not enough to convince me anyone real was behind the voices. I continue down the hallway and the amount of doors doubles.”

Em: [chuckles in disbelief]

Christine: “The lights are starting to hurt my eyes, and the voices seem to increase. Trying not to panic, I decide to just turn around and go back down the hallway. That’s–“ Oh my god, help me.

Em: Tell me now.

Christine: “That’s when I see the elevator I had exited right behind me.”

Em: I beg your par– So were you just walking in place this whole time and hallucinating?

Christine: Right? Like the stairs!

Em: Like the stairs.

Christine: The two hour stairs.

Em: I told you. I thou– The whole time I felt like they were just like walking–

Christine: No, you’re–

Em: –left, right, left, right, left, right for like two hours.

Christine: I think you’re right.

Em: Eugh.

Christine: You must be right. “Not down a never-ending hallway filled with doors. It was right there.” Like she’d just said, “I’d gone down the hall for what seemed like e– forever,” and then you turn around, and it’s right behind you?

Em: That’s literally like some– That’s truly out of a horror movie that like, “Oh!”

Christine: That’s like when you like accidentally get into the part of the video game that like hasn’t been– It’s still in beta testing and like you weren’t supposed to be there.

Em: Yeah, it’s like glitching.

Christine: Yeah, yeah! Eugh, that gives me the creeps. Okay. [sighs] “Right there. I press the button, and the door opens right away. I step on and go back upstairs. I felt like I had been down there for about half an hour, but it had actually been about two hours.”

Em: I’m telling you there’s something about walking in place while hallucinating.

Christine: This, this is not good. Yeah, this is not good.

Em: And did, did, did anyone else go down there and accidentally walk pa– like see you just standing there like in a trance? Like just– [mimes walking in place, swinging their arms]

Christine: Yeah! Like were you in a different reality? Like a plane?

Em: And maybe those were the whispers you heard. Someone trying to wake you out of it.

Christine: Oh! They were all like talking, and you were in a regular hallway, but you were seeing it– Oh my god. Good point.

Em: Oh, forget it. I just beg to differ.

Christine: I beg to differ. “I felt like I had been down there for about half an hour, but I’d actually been about two hours. My supervisor had assumed I just was pulled somewhere else, so they sent someone else down to the laundry. I just agreed that yes, I was pulled elsewhere, finished my rounds, and left.” [laughs]

Em: Sure. Well what else do you say? Like, “Actually, no.”

Christine: “Technically…” [laughs] Yeah. “I don’t really know what happened that day, but I feel it’s possible it was a mixture of the backdoors and Backrooms theories. It was possibly another space that also occupied the hospital. It’s also completely possible that my anxiety turned me around. All I know is that seeing that elevator right there right away when I turned to go back was the most chilling yet calming sensation.” Probably when it opened.

Em: [laughs] Yeah.

Christine: [laughs] “The whispers behind the doors were also incredibly surreal as were the lights. Almost too bright. I’ve always had strange occurrences around me (I sent in a story about black-eyed witches a long time ago – still upsets me to this day)–“

Em: Mm-hmm.

Christine: “–so I am no stranger to oddities, but this was one my brain absolutely tried to hide from me. Love you all! I met you both when you came to Long Island. We were–“ [gasps] I remember. “We were the whole family that came to your show as a family bonding night!” Remember we got in the family photo?

Em: Yes.

Christine: Oh my god. So fun.

Em: Beautiful. [laughs]

Christine: “Can’t wait to see you guys again one day!” Wow. Yikes.

Em: Well done.

Christine: Well done. I got shivers again.

Em: So yeah, it does seem like there’s a theme here of like h-hiding, you know–

Christine: Yeah.

Em: –Backrooms, staircases– Maybe the curtain is “behind the curtain,” you know what I’m saying? Like a backroom?

Christine: Oh, behind the curtain, right. Like– Yes. Ooh okay. Oh, or it could be like also mysteries. Like none of these really have answers. Well, I guess we know–

Em: Which you know I hate. You know I–

Christine: Which you know I hate.

Em: I love a mystery I can maybe solve.

Christine: Although I guess we do know who the banshee is. That's true.

Em: Now, that’s a mystery not so for the ages, I’ll tell you that.

Christine: [laughs]

Story 5 – I Pooped in a Haunted Bathroom on My Honeymoon

Em: Okay, this is from Kaitlin who uses she/her pronouns. Thank you for normalizing pronouns, Kaitlin. And the subject – oh my goodness – is “I Pooped in a Haunted Bathroom on My Honeymoon.”

Christine: Hey!

Em: [laughs]

Christine: That’s on the bingo card for sure that you can print out from Etsy like “Bachelorette Bingo.”

Em: It is now, yeah.

Christine: “Honeymoon Bingo.”

Em: [laughs] So, uh, this says, “Hello And That’s Why We Drink Family, uh, (looking at you nice lady at Christine’s house on Halloween)–“ Oh, it says, uh, “And That’s Why We Drink Family, Crew, Pets, and Phantoms!” The phantoms are the nice lady at your house. Um–

Christine: [laughs] Oh, I was like, “Who at my house? Not me? I’m not the nice lady? Okay.”

Em: “My name is Kaitlin, and I hope you all are doing well. And I have a story for you. I was going to write the day it happened, but I was busy on my honeymoon so I didn’t.” Okay, girl. Uh–

Christine: Busy pooping? [laughs]

Em: [laughs] Kaitlin says, “My husband and I had our honeymoon this past April in New Orleans. And we– We had been to New Orleans once before and loved it so much that we decided to return. Despite being such a spooky city, neither of us had any experiences the first time we were there and all of our honeymoon except for this one experience.”

Christine: Mm.

Em: “It was Easter, and I had gone to Messina’s Run– Runway Cafe for Easter Brunch.” Okay. I’ve never been there. “It’s a bit out of the way from everything else, but given that I realized Easter is a big deal in New Orleans last minute, it was a place I could find that was taking reservations and wasn’t stupid expensive. Now, this restaurant is located inside an old Art Deco airport called Lakefront Airport.”

Christine: Cool!

Em: That’s badass.

Christine: Yeah.

Em: “It has been renovated over the years to keep its Art Deco ways going, and it’s absolutely gorgeous. It even had the phone booths that you see in old movies that I absolutely sat in and these beautiful paintings on the wall of all the places planes can go with the special 1920s flavor of other countries being uncivilized.” [chuckles]

Christine: Oh, yikes.

Em: Yeah. “Anyway, we had had brunch so we were both in desperate need of the bathroom, so we went our separate ways to the toilet. As soon as I walked into the bathroom, I felt static. I felt this busy hum, and I knew this bathroom was absolutely filled with people.”

Christine: Whoa!

Em: “I also–“ I know. Yuck, which– “I also desperately needed to use the restroom, so I tried to do–“

Christine: [laughs]

Em: “–the quickest poop of my life because it was uncomfortable in there. It felt like too many people were squished in. To distract myself from all the static-y weirdness, I texted my very skeptical science man husband and asked if his bathroom was haunted, to which he responded, ‘Vaguely.’”

Christine: [gasps]

Em: Which if Blaise said that, that’s all the confirmation I need that he thinks ghosts are real.

Christine: I would go, “Em, we’ve got a st– a big story here. I don’t know what it is yet.” [laughs]

Em: [laughs] “We’re gonna blow it wide open.”

Christine: “But we’re gonna blow this wide open.”

Em: Um, so yeah. She’s feeling like there’s a million people in the bathroom even though she’s by herself.

Christine: Mm-mmm. And you’re pooping. Like that’s not where you’d like that to happen.

Em: Yeah. That is not the moment you want to feel like people are staring at you.

Christine: Like peeing is like, “Fine, I’ll, I’ll get out of your hair,” but like, “I’m really needing this privacy for a minute.”

Em: Ugh. “I washed my hands and got out of there as soon as peo– as soon as possible back into the airport and just felt empty. I asked my husband what he meant by ‘vaguely,’ and he said when he walked in he had seen someone standing in the bathroom and then there was no one there.”

Christine: No.

Em: I like how that’s like a very clear indicator.

Christine: Yeah, that’s “vague.” [laughs]

Em: And he’s like, “Vaguely.”

Christine: She’s like, “I just felt something was off, and I knew it was haunted.” He’s like, “I saw a ghostly apparition, but I’m still not sure. Jury’s out.” [laughs]

Em: [laughs]

Christine: My god.

Em: “Nobody had walked out. There was just a man that he saw and then nothing.”

Christine: [gasps]

Em: “Part of the reason he does the skeptical thing is because the paranormal really freaks him out.” So this is Blaise.

Christine: That’s Blaise.

Em: “And I could see he was a bit shaken by his experience and wanted to move on, so I let it go.”

Christine: Also I think it’s cool that they happened simultaneously.

Em: Yeah.

Christine: And that you even had the thought to text the skeptic husband, and he was like at– simultaneously experiencing something. That’s really cool.

Em: I wonder if he even thought about it being a ghost until sh-she said anything.

Christine: I was gonna say, I wonder if he would have even told you about it.

Em: Yeah, no, he certainly wouldn’t have told her.

Christine: He would not have, right? Yeah.

Em: Absolutely not. “We have had more than one paranormal experience while together and if we don’t calmly move on, he gets a little Zak Bagans-y–“

Christine: Aw. [laughs]

Em: “–which is hilarious to watch, but I– I end up getting pushed awake by ghosts all night, and he sleeps through the majority of it.” Ahh! Okay. So I guess, um, it’s for the best that he keeps a wall up, I suppose.

Christine: I guess so.

Em: Uh, “I hope you enjoyed the story and that you have a wonderful November. Take care! Kaitlin.”

Christine: Wow. Blaise and I did our backup honeymoon in New Orleans because we were going–

Em: Oh, yeah!

Christine: –we were going on a vacation. I was like, “I wanna–“ And it was right after we went on our actual honeymoon, and I was like, “Well, we’re going there for six days. I’m just gonna check the ‘honeymoon’ box on the hotel, so that they give us–“

Em: [chuckles]

Christine: “–you know, some, some flowers or something.”

Em: Yeah.

Christine: Um, but yeah. Super cool place. That would be such a great place for a honeymoon, I– That’s just–

Em: That was where we s– I was just supposed to go to a bachelorette party, and that was a–

Christine: That’s right.

Em: Talk about a great place for a bachelorette party.

Christine: Too bad. We gotta figure something out to make that happen.

Em: I know.

Christine: Um, we’ll figure it out. We’ll do, uh, Bachelorette Bingo, and we’ll all poop on a haunted toilet.

Em: Oh! Okay, you go first.

Christine: [laughs] Okay.

Em: [laughs] Okay.

Christine: Uh, you go in the one where the guy disappears, and then I’ll–

Em: Okay.

Christine: Yeah. Sounds good.

Em: No, thank you.

Christine: I’ll meet you afterward.

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Story 6 – Visiting Hours in the Afterlife and My Friend the Cowboy

Christine: Um, okay. This is our last story for November 1. This is from Anna, she/her. And it’s called "Visiting Hours in the Afterlife and My Friend the Cowboy.” Okay, I’m excited.

Em: Oh! Well, of course, Christine’s gonna read this one. That worked out very well.

Christine: Perfect. It did. It sure did. “Howdy Eva, my fellow spooky Geminis, and Lemon! My name is Anna (she/her), and I have two stories today that I think y’all will love! Sorry in advance – this is long, but I didn’t want to be a ‘that’s a story for another day’ person.”

Em: Thank you.

Christine: [sarcastically] “Uh, yeah. Hate to be one of those” – everybody else who’s emailed in today. I’m just kidding.

Em: [laughs]

Christine: “I guess let’s crack into it! Here’s a little backstory before we dive in. I moved to a ghost town outside of Big Bend National Park in–“ National park.

Em: I know. I know.

Christine: [laughs] “–in the summer of 2021 to work and live at a resort out there. It was insanely remote. The closest McDonald’s was 100 miles in one direction.”

Em: Holy shit!

Christine: “And the closest Walmart was almost 300 miles one way.”

Em: Wow.

Christine: That’s crazy. That– I mean, in modern America, that’s, that’s really in the boonies.

Em: You know, I was just thinking that, um– When I was on the plane, uh, coming back here, I was like, “I wonder where the point is in the world where if you stand there you are the farthest away from any other living creature.”

Christine: Yeah. Yeah.

Em: ’Cause like the water doesn’t count ’cause right below it– Like if you were just plopped in the water, there’s gonna be fish underneath you or something. Like, like where’s the place where you could actually just lie down and not worry that a single living thing could hurt you? Like what’s the thing that is the most remote and the farthest away from any other living person?

Christine: Mm. I mean–

Em: I think you found it. [laughs]

Christine: –I would imagine like Antarctica. Well, I’m sure there’s lots of animals in these places though.

Em: Oh, that’s true. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Christine: I know you mentioned fish, but there’s also like bears and rabbits.

Em: Yeah, I was trying to think like where could I just lie down and go to sleep and not worry about like anything approaching in the middle of the night?

Christine: I mean, you’d at least not have to worry about people, so that’s nice.

Em: That’s true. This is certainly, uh, an option. Uh, f–

Christine: Yeah, this is definitely up there on the list.

Em: Yeah.

Christine: Uh, let’s see. “The actual middle of nowhere. The town and resort have some dark history. The golf pro shop was the old general store, and you can still see bullet holes in the stone from the shootouts that used to happen there.”

Em: Christine’s dream.

Christine: Oh, I know. It’s like killing me inside.

Em: [laughs]

Christine: “My grandma on my mom’s side passed away right before Thanksgiving in 2021 at 79 years old. She had been declining in health for a little over eight years. She was living on the other side of the state in Houston, so I wasn’t able to properly say goodbye to her. I also have been known to have dreams that are more than just dreams. I dreamt about my boyfriend for years before we ever met.” Wow.

Em: Excuse me? That’s crazy.

Christine: I, I know. That’s so cool. “I predicted how my aunt– aunt would die–“ [chuckles] Can you imagine?

Em: Good…

Christine: “Hey, Aunt– Aunt Cindy? I also picture how you’re gonna die. Isn’t that cool?”

Em: “Yeah, Au-Aunt Cindy, don’t–“

Christine: “The boyfriend one came true.”

Em: Ooh!

Christine: Yeah.

Em: Did Aunt Cindy come true?

Christine: Well, yeah. Uh, “I predicted how my aunt would die a week before it happened–“

Em: Oh. Yeah, you’re right. Okay.

Christine: “–and many other instances. Enough backstory, let’s get into the real stories. These both happened on the same day, exactly two years ago today (October 14). I was working night audit for the hotel, which meant working 11 p.m. to 7 a.m. in a creaky old wooden hotel all alone with the occasional (usually drunk) guest coming in. We’ll talk about that more in just a second though – I’m getting ahead of myself.”

Em: [laughs] Okay, I’m sorry.

Christine: “I–“ [laughs] Okay, take your time.

Em: [laughs]

Christine: “I had just gotten off of a particularly long and awful night shift. All I could think about was going to bed. When I finally fell asleep, I awoke in an all white room that had a pink glow to it. In the room, there were a bunch of tables and chairs. There were people sitting and chatting at all of the tables. I found myself sitting across from a woman who looked familiar, but I couldn’t place her. She smiled warmly and said, ‘What? You don’t recognize me anymore?’”

Em: [gasps]

Christine: “‘I guess I look a little different than the last time we saw each other.’”

Em: Aunt Cindy?

Christine: “And it clicked.”

Em: [laughs]

Christine: “I was sitting with my grandma.”

Em: Oh, grandma. Okay.

Christine: Who had just passed.

Em: Jeez.

Christine: “Every-everybody around me was also visiting with deceased loved ones, and the room was full of laughter, tears, and warmth.” Oh my god, this is like a, a waiting room.

Em: Mm-hmm.

Christine: Like a meeting room.

Em: Yeah.

Christine: This is so cool.

Em: That’s pretty badass.

Christine: “She asked me about all that had happened in my life since she left. I filled her in on everything: why I moved so far away, how I wanted to go to pastry school, the cat I adopted from a thrift store, my long-distance boyfriend, and so much more. She told me how proud she was of me for going out and following my passions and doing what makes me happiest. She only asked me one more question: ‘This boy you’re dating – he’s special isn’t he?’ I agreed with her, and she told me, ‘I visited him, and I really like him. Keep him close.’”

Em: Ooh.

Christine: “‘I love you, and I’ll visit you again soon.’ She hugged me tight, and I woke up. I still felt her arms around me when I woke up and immediately started sobbing. When I finally collected myself, I was hit with a huge realization: it was her 80th birthday that day.”

Em: [gasps] Aw, so it’s like you got to have a little birthday party with her.

Christine: I just got full body chills. Oh my god.

Em: Wow. You know, that does kind of go against the idea of like, um– that they’re always watching. Like that definitely makes it seem like time is more linear and they’ve got other things to do than pay attention.

Christine: They pop in and out. Yeah.

Em: Yeah. Interesting.

Christine: Yeah, I agree. I agree. “Later that night I had to go back in for another overnight shift. It was my first shift alone after my training period. It was an easy night for the most part. A few of my friends came up to the desk to keep me company during my downtime. We were all joking and laughing in the lobby when something caught my eye. I saw a man peeking around the wall to my left.”

Em: No.

Christine: “My tallest friend was about 6’4”, and the entity was about a foot taller than him.” No.

Em: Mm-mmm.

Christine: I don’t like how these ghosts get taller when they die. It really makes me anxious.

Em: Y– Why are you getting stretchy? Like fucking shut up. Shrink.

Christine: Don’t do that. Get back. “It was a man in an old-timey suit, a cowboy hat, and no eyes.”

Em: [laughs] So he can’t even see how fucking terrifying he is. Great. Okay.

Christine: Great. “My friends watched me see the ghost but didn’t see it themselves, even though he was right next to them.”

Em: Mm-mmm.

Christine: “Later on that night, I was actually doing my job, batching all of the receipts from the restaurant. Each server had their own stack of receipts that would get closed out each night. I would always line them up from first breakfast server to the final bartender for that day. I remember specifically the servers’ names went: Jeff, Linus, McKenzie, Hannah, Zach, and Tony.”

Em: [chuckles]

Christine: “When I finished printing the paperwork, I went to go grab the receipts. Hannah’s stack was missing. It wasn’t just an empty space though; all of the receipt stacks moved over to close the hole where hers should’ve been.”

Em: Oh my god, I feel like this is an omen for Hannah. Poor Hannah.

Christine: Right? It’s like, “She’s out of the picture now.”

Em: It’s like, “Are you okay, girl?”

Christine: Oh my lord.

Em: [chuckles]

Christine: “I searched all over the front desk, the copy room, the back storage room, the bin where everyone would drop the receipts, even broke into my manager’s office in case they had slipped under the door somehow. I could not find them anywhere, so I just printed out the slip we used when people forgot to bring their receipts in. That’s when I heard a flutter of receipt paper falling down behind me.”

Em: [gasps] [whispers] Shut up.

Christine: “Hannah’s receipts were placed directly on top of the bin that I had just frantically searched.”

Em: Oh my god.

Christine: “There is no way I would’ve missed them if they were there when I was searching for them. I spent the rest of the night jumping at every noise and counting d–“ And by the way, it was moved also. Like it was on the counter–

Em: Yes. It was missing.

Christine: –then was missing, then was moved, wasn’t there– Oh my god. That’s just–

Em: If I were Hannah, I’d fucking quit. I would be like–

Christine: I was like, “This is bad news. I’m– This is an omen.”

Em: I’d be like, “Why me?”

Christine: “Why’d he pick me?” Uh-uh.

Em: “You couldn’t pick Linus, please?”

Christine: “Come on. Linus is just asking for it with a name like Linus.” [laughs] “Haunt him.”

Em: [laughs]

Christine: Okay. “I search all over the front–“ blah-blah-blah-blah-blah. Uh, “I spent the rest of the night jumping at every noise and counting down the minutes until somebody else would be at the desk with me. When my manager came in that morning, I had to tell her all about my encounter, obviously. She was shocked, but not because I had seen a ghost. She had seen the same seven to eight foot tall man walking down the stairs a few nights earlier – old-timey suit, cowboy hat, no eyes.” Oh my god. Help me.

Em: How is this something we are not all talking about with each other?

Christine: I can’t believe it. I can’t believe it.

Em: How is that– Like of all things like people fucking email each other at a job, that’s not a memo that is worthy?

Christine: This isn’t like the number one breaking news in this tiny ass town where nothing else is happening?

Em: Which, I guess, can you imagine sending like an email out to corporate going, “Hey, quick little– Just, just a memo for everyone.”

Christine: [laughs]

Em: “I did see someone with no eyes.”

Christine: Yeah.

Em: “Um, he was lurking.”

Christine: And they’re like–

Em: “And I don’t like it.”

Christine: –“Well, you’re 300 miles from the nearest Walmart. So, uh– Sorry. Fend for yourself.” [laughs]

Em: [laughs]

Christine: “I had a few less notable encounters with my cowboy ghost, including footsteps, doors slamming, and disembodied [in deep voice] “heys” here and there.”

Em: Ugh.

Christine: “I ended up leaving about two months after my main encounter, not because of the ghost, but because I moved across the state to live with my boyfriend.” Well, Grandma approved, right? So yeah.

Em: Yeah. Okay, I’ll take that.

Christine: “Fast forward to 2024: I’m still living in Houston with my boyfriend and our three cats (Yodel, Violet, and Tofu).”

Em: Good names.

Christine: “My manager from the resort is now my future mother-in-law.” Are you serious right now?

Em: [gasps] Get out. That’s–

Christine: “I graduate from pastry school in April, and I still see my grandma from time to time in my dreams.”

Em: Aw!

Christine: Wow…

Em: And Hannah was never seen again.

Christine: Yeah. [laughs]

Em: [laughs]

Christine: Hannah… We’re not even gonna go there.

Em: Aw.

Christine: Wow…

Em: Wow.

Christine: That’s weird.

Em: That is wild.

Christine: That’s really fucking weird.

Em: Well, hey. Grandma approves, just like you said, Christine.

Christine: Yeah, visiting hours in the afterlife. That’s what she called it. I love that – visiting hours.

Em: That’s so interesting. I– You know, my mom also, um, sees her dad still in dreams–

Christine: Mm-hmm.

Em: –but she only sees him in like really stressful times when she really, really needs him.

Christine: [gasps] Yeah.

Em: And so I don’t know if she like conjures him? But he also strikes me as a guy who would, “Ugh, like what? You’re pulling me away from like fun things.” Like, you know?

Christine: “I’m playing snooker up here.”

Em: [laughs]

Christine: I don’t even know what snooker is.

Em: But so I wonder, um– I wonder if there really is a waiting room or like– Why, why did you see a waiting room versus her coming to you? Or like do only certain people have access to that kind of room?

Christine: I know. I wonder if it’s like, I wonder if it’s like different per person, like how you visualize it?

Em: Yeah.

Christine: Like they probably don’t have the same material. Like it probably maybe just visualized it as a waiting room almost. Like, “Oh, this’ll be–“

Em: Also to say like, “Oh, I look different since I was your grandma.” So it’s like implies like, “I’m not your grandma anymore. I’m a new soul.” Or like, “I’ve, I’ve, uh, graduated from them.”

Christine: I think she just said, “I look different than–“ Well, no, I think it’s probably like maybe she was younger or something.

Em: Mm.

Christine: I mean, I don’t know. But she said she recognized her voice immediately, so I’m like, “Maybe she just looked younger?”

Em: Maybe.

Christine: Like you know how they say people like have a new–

Em: Yeah.

Christine: –bo– Like they go back a few decades? I don’t know.

Em: Yeah, I always wonder about that. I always wonder like, “So how does the age get picked? Is it like when you were happiest? Or when–?”

Christine: I’ve heard that it’s when you’re most like healthy fulfilled.

Em: Mm.

Christine: Like you’re at your peak physic– physical.

Em: Interesting.

Christine: That’s what I’ve heard.

Em: ’Cause I feel like it would also– It could also be like whenever the most significant year for you was.

Christine: Or that, yeah.

Em: Or something. Yeah. I don’t know. I guess we’ll find out when we get there.

Christine: Hopefully.

Em: See, see you in the visiting room, Christine.

Christine: I forgot to make–

Em: You go first.

Christine: I forgot to make an appointment, so.

Em: [laughs]

Christine: Sorry.

Em: Uh, okay. Well, that was– Was that, uh, our last one?

Christine: I think that was it.

Em: Wow.

Christine: Good job.

Em: Thank you, everyone, for sending in your stories. And, uh, again, if you would like to send in your own stories, you can do that at andthatswhywedrink.com. And thank you for nor-normalizing pronouns. Thank you for getting all the way to November 1 with us–

Christine: Yes.

Em: –and telling us your spooky stuff. I look forward to our December one that is our very last Listeners’ episode of 2024.

Christine: Jesus. Yeah, uh, thank you also for voting.

Em: [singing “Graduation” by Vitamin C] ♪ As we go on ♪♪

Christine: Uh–

Em: Oh, yeah. Thank you for voting.

Christine: Thank you for, uh, submitting your stories. If you want to submit another story, please send it to andthatswhywedrink@gmail.com. And Eva, you know, every month goes through and picks a few, and we love to hear from you.

Em: [continues singing “Graduation” by Vitamin C] ♪ We remember ♪

Christine: Okay. [laughs]

Em: [laughs] ♪ All the good times ♪♪ I guess I’ll– We’ll, we’ll do the–

Christine: That’s not how it goes.

Em: We’ll do the full song, uh, in December, and you can sing it since I sing it wrong.

Christine: I already sang it on episode 400.

Em: I didn’t know that was the last time you were ever gonna sing that song. Interesting.

Christine: Mm. Well, now you know.

Em: I’m gonna make you do it for the next one. You have a whole month to prepare.

Christine: We’ll see.

Em: Warm– Warm up your instrument.

Christine: I don’t need to prepare. I’ve got it nailed. I’ve got it down.

Em: Perfect. Okay, I’ll see you then. And–

Christine: That’s–

Em: Why–

Christine: We–

Em: Drink.

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