Listener Stories: Vol. 111 featuring. Taylar and Morgan of Creeps & Crimes

Stories:

1: My Angel That Visits Every Christmas - Danielle (She/Her)
2: Mamaw Died on Xmas - Timber (They/He)
3: My Decade Long Demon Stalker and How I Excorcised My Boyfriend - Lynnie (She/Her)
4: Ghost Walked Through Me & An Instinct to Run! - Marigold (They/Them)
5: A Christmas Ghost Story - Abra (she/her)
6: Where did he get the gun and the worst person to run into at a hospital kids Christmas show - Teddy (they/them)

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Hey Besties, Boozers and Shakers! We're kicking off the new year with our ParaPods pals Taylar and Morgan of Creeps & Crimes! They're bringing us Jack Frost cocktails aka a Christmas bruise in a cup and stories that may have gotten lost in our inbox but were thankfully sent to C&C as well. Join us this week for some beautifully emotional, festively creepy and borderline disturbing stories from our shared listeners. We love y'all! Shout out to all Kentucky mamaws... and that's why we drink!

Announcement: We've gone fishin' (figuratively)! After eight years we're finally starting to build in some time off this year, starting this week Sunday, January 4th. Instead of releasing a regular episode we'll be giving ourselves some FLTs (fun little treats) and giving our staff some extremely well deserved down time. Thank you for understanding!

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Transcript

[Rotating ads vary, for a full list of current podcast sponsors visit andthatswhywedrink.com/sponsors]

[intro music] 

Em: Happy new year everybody. It is January 1, uh, if you’re listening to this right away. Uh, it is now 2026. Thank god. I’m so done with 2025. 

Taylar: Me too. 

Morgan: God, thank god. 

Em: And we have here– Unfortunately, we are recording this right before the holidays. A lot’s going on. So Christine was not able to make it, but, uh, we have our saving graces. Creeps and Crime are here to do some listeners’ epis– listener stories with me for our listeners’ episode. So thank you for being here. 

Taylar: Hey, everybody. 

Morgan: Thank you for having us. 

Taylar: Thanks so much. We’re so happy to be back. We missed it over here. 

Em: You really are our go-to people to text now if we’re ever in a crisis, so thank you for helping out. 

Morgan: That melts my heart. 

Taylar: Em, that is the honor of my life, so. [laughs] 

Em: [laughs] Especially because we’re, we’re so close to the holidays. So thank you for also taking time away from your holiday situation. Are– What are your holiday plans this year? 

Taylar: Morgan? 

Morgan: I am going to Pennsylvania. 

Em: Fun. 

Morgan: So I am still in Tennessee right now, but on Tuesday– ’Cause it’s a Sunday before, uh, Christmas. Um, on Tuesday, I’m going to my mother’s house– my mother and father. I always– 

Taylar: She only says her mother’s house. [chuckles] 

Morgan: I don’t– 

Em: Fuck you, Dad. Um. [laughs] 

Morgan: And like they’re together, like happily married. 

Taylar: Poor Bucky. Oh my god. [laughs] 

Morgan: Like I have a great relationship with my dad, but like it’s always just about my mom. 

Em: [laughs] Okay. 

Morgan: Um, anyway, so yeah, we’re going to Pennsylvania. We’ll be there until the following weekend. 

Em: Sick. 

Morgan: So hopefully it is not freezing cold, but– 

Em: Sick. 

Morgan: –we’ll see. 

Taylar: I have a fear and an inkling that it might be. Actually, it’s going to be like 65° down here on Christmas. 

Morgan: And I’m definitely getting a Shorty’s hot dog, so. 

Em: [groans jealously] Ugh! Stop it. 

Taylar: Ooh, that’s gonna be nice. Um. 

Em: For those who don’t know, Morgan and I have a bit of a, a love affair, a co– Our first common bond was over a Shorty’s hot dog in Pennsylvania, so. 

Morgan: That’s true. 

Taylar: It was. It was. 

Em: Uh, and Taylar? Christmas, what are you doing? 

Taylar: I’m just going to be, you know, dipping on down about an hour south of Cleveland, and I’m going to go run around that town like I own it– 

Em: [laughs] 

Taylar: –meeting everybody, seeing everybody, seeing all the mamaws, grandmas, and, uh, all the family. So it’s gonna be fun. And then we’re gonna come back– We’re– We literally only go down Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Um, but I think this year, we– we’re gonna spend the night Christmas Day– 

Em: Cool. 

Taylar: –because, um, my little sister– She’s 18. I, I think we talked about her last time we recorded with you guys. Um, but she– She’s– It’s her freshman year at UT up here. So she’s been home since Thanksgiving, and, I don’t know if I’ve told you this yet, Morgan, but she’s getting her freaking tonsils out. 

Em: Oof. 

Morgan: Oh no. I didn’t know that. 

Taylar: Mm-hmm. 

Em: That sucks. 

Taylar: Yeah. 

Em: Have you had them out? 

Taylar: A– No, I, I haven’t. 

Morgan: Me neither. 

Taylar: They, they always told me I should, but then I was like just so old that I was like– 

Em: Mm. 

Taylar: –“It’s gonna kill me and kind of be horrible for my job, so…” 

Em: I– It, it– I got them out as an adult as well. I think I got them around the same age as her. I was like 20? 

Taylar: Mm-hmm. 

Em: It is– 

Taylar: Yep. 

Em: They– The reason they want you to do it when you’re a kid is because it hasn’t built its own like circulatory system yet or something or vascular system. And so as an adult, it’s much more painful. And I’ve heard them say it’s like one of like the top ten worst recoveries, uh, which– 

Morgan: [gasps] 

Taylar: Oh my gosh. 

Em: I don’t know about all that, but I will tell you up until that point in my life, it was in fact a really horrible– ’Cause it’s– You think– Oh, sorry if your sister’s listening. She’s not gonna like this part. Um– 

Taylar: [chuckles] She– She’s not. Trust me. She doesn’t like me that much. [laughs] 

Em: Just tell– [laughs] Earmuffs. Earmuffs. Um, but no, the, the first few days you actually are like, “This is not that bad.” You’re talking normally. You’re like, “What was everyone complaining about?” 

Taylar: “Everything’s fine.” 

Em: And yikes. So sorry, everyone. It’s like day four or five where, as you’re sleeping, a scab forms on the wound and then– 

Taylar: [leans forward, making low gasping retching noise] 

Morgan: [makes a retching sound] 

Em: –and then falls off. 

Taylar: Ah! [in disgust] 

Em: And now it’s a raw wound again, and that’s the painful part. 

Morgan: Oh no. 

Taylar: Oh my god. Oh my god. 

Morgan: Hell no. A scab on the inside of your throat? 

Em: Which you– 

Taylar: I’m gonna– 

Em: I’m so sorry. How does it fall off? You– [Em motions down their neck to mime swallowing.] 

Morgan: [squeaks in shock] 

Taylar: Noo. 

Morgan: Stop– Enough. 

Em: Okay. [laughs while holding the collar of their shirt up, covering the bottom of their face] 

Morgan: That is enough. [laughs] 

Em: Okay. [laughs] 

Taylar: No. Oh my god. 

Em: Don’t tell your sister. 

Morgan: That is en– 

Taylar: She’s gonna need this Brodo. She’s gonna need it. 

Em: Don’t tell your sister. 

Taylar: She’s really gonna need– 

Morgan: Give her my box. 

Taylar: –the broth. 

Em: So it’s– 

Taylar: And then we’re gonna have to give her a box of broth. 

Em: So it’s day four or five that sucks the most because it’s now like reopened, and it– That’s the painful part. But then after a few days, it really goes away. It’s just that experience that’s the worst. 

Taylar: Holy shit. That’s gonna be New Year’s for her. 

Em: [laughs] Oh, I mean– 

Taylar: [laughs] 

Em: Happy new– That’s today! 

Morgan: I am sick. 

Em: Oh, girl. You’re feeling it today. I’m so sorry. 

Taylar: Oh, she’s hurting today. I’m gonna be like, “Hey, by the way, we did, uh, foresee this coming. I just gave you no warning.” 

Em: [laughs] 

Taylar: Yeah. I’m, I’m not gonna tell her. I’m just not gonna tell her until after the fact. 

Em: Oh… I know that’s so gross. I’m so sorry, everyone. But if you’ve had your tonsils out as an adult, you know exactly what pain I’m talking about. It’s, um, it’s an experience, so. I’m so sorry for your sister. That’s terrible. 

Taylar: Yeah. I hate that for her. 

Em: And her loss of the throat. The tonsils. 

Morgan: [chuckles] 

Taylar: Yeah. What are you doing for Christmas, Em? Are you staying in LA? Where are you headed? 

Em: No, I was told multiple years in advance that I was not going home for Christmas to see my family this year because Allison is hosting, um– She’s the host of the entire family reunion. 

Taylar: [gasps] Okay. 

Morgan: Ooh. 

Em: And so I heard in back in like 2022. She was like, “You cannot– You have to come home with me in 2025. That’s the– That’s my only request.” 

Taylar: [laughs] 

Em: So I– I’ve had a while to plan this. 

Taylar: Mm-hmm. 

Em: So I’m very excited. I’m very eager to see what she’s concocted because she made all of us like form teams, and there’s gonna be games and all this, so. 

Morgan: Ooh. That’s gonna be fun. 

Taylar: That’s gonna be so fun. 

Em: And, and like teams, team with people that we don’t usually hang out with in the family. So I have Aunt Judy, who I don’t totally know all that well– 

Morgan: [chuckles] 

Taylar: Okay. 

Em: –but I do know that she’s a real firecracker, so I’m very excited to hang out with her. 

Taylar: Sh– I mean, her cam– Her name cannot be Aunt Judy– 

Em: Right. 

Taylar: –without like having that Aunt Judy energy, and it’s giving like Judge Judy in the same breath. 

Em: Yeah, she’s a dynamo. She’s a full dynamo. 

Taylar: Yes. 

Em: Um, so– 

Morgan: Where is home for her? 

Em: Uh, Florence, South Carolina, but she is– 

Taylar: Oh! 

Em: But– 

Morgan: [in Southern accent] You’ll be in our neck of the woods. 

Em: [chuckles] I know. 

Taylar: You’ll be low down, baby. 

Em: I think we’re doing it in Charlotte though, which is where some of the family has moved to. 

Taylar: Mm. 

Em: So um, anyway, very excited. Uh, I’m actually– Sh– I was supposed to meet her there next week, but she actually surprised me a few days ago. And so she’s here, and we’ll be flying there together. Which I will say that’s the reason I drink this week is, um, I did not know Allison was coming home, and if anyone has been listening since like August– Um, so what– I’m not sure on how much you know. 

Taylar: I know. 

Em: Allison and I have been long distance since April. She’s been, uh, with her sister and helping with the baby that, that her sister had. So since April, we’ve been long distance, and I’ve been redoing the entire house to surprise her when she gets back in February. Um, and then she surprised me the other night, and she showed up at my door, and I was like, “You can’t come in here. I–“ 

Taylar: “You have to leave.” 

Morgan: [laughs] 

Em: You– Like literally the place doesn’t ev– [chuckles] “You gotta leave.” I really– 

Morgan: Caution tape. [laughs] 

Taylar: [laughs] 

Em: [laughs] It was the happiest I’ve been in a while and the most horrified ’cause I was like, “This house actually arguably looks worse than when you left–“ 

Taylar: [laughs] 

Morgan: [laughs] 

Em: “–because it’s in the middle of construction, and there’s like sawdust everywhere.” And, um, so anyway, the reason I drink is like she really knows how to ruin a like five monthlong surprise. Um, the end. 

Taylar: [laughs] That is so good. 

Em: Happy New Year. Um, [laughs] so. 

Taylar: [sighs] 

Em: Why do you drink? Do you have a reason? I don’t mean to catch you off guard here, but do you have a reason? 

Taylar: Oh no, don’t worry. We came prepared. 

Em: Perfect. 

Morgan: Yeah. 

Taylar: I sent Morgan a text. I said, “Don’t forget. You need a fun little drink.” 

Morgan: Ten minutes. 

Taylar: [laughs] 

Morgan: Ten minutes before. [laughs] 

Em: [laughs] 

Taylar: Actually, it was 20 minutes. 

Morgan: You know I was panicking. 

Taylar: It was 12:40. 

Em: You said, “Tick-tock. It’s coming up.” 

Morgan: It, it was 12:40. 

Taylar: I said, “Why do you drink? 

Morgan: It was 12:40, but I had to clean this [points to the neon Creeps & Crimes sign on the wall behind her.], put this together. 

Em: [laughs] 

Taylar: Yeah. 

Morgan: Put some clothes on. I was like, “Oh, shit.” 

Taylar: Me at 12:54, putting this together. I was like– 

Em: Well– 

Taylar: You would have thought I haven’t been awake all day. Like– 

Morgan: [laughs] 

Em: Well, why do you drink? 

Taylar: Morgan, do you wanna go? 

Morgan: Well, I drink because it’s the holidays, and we– I always thought that like marrying somebody from the same town but living out of state would be easier. 

Em: Sure. 

Morgan: Because then you don’t have to split holidays like, uh– Like say he lived in– Say he was from Texas. I don’t know. 

Em: Russia. Yeah. [laughs] 

Taylar: [laughs] 

Morgan: Oh, yeah. Russia. [laughs] 

Taylar: Or Russia. Yeah. [laughs] 

Em: [laughs] You get it. Yeah. They’re the same. 

Taylar: Yeah. One of the two. 

Morgan: Texas or Russia. 

Taylar: Yeah. 

Morgan: And you have to split it. But honestly, I think it’s worse being from the same town. 

Taylar: It is. 

Em: Really? 

Morgan: Because then everyone’s like, “Well, we got this plan, this plan, this plan, this plan, this plan, this plan.” And then for– Christmas is one day, but then for four days, you’re like arms stretched out [Morgan moves side to side as if being pulled back and forth]. 

Em: Mm. 

Morgan: This house, then this house, then this house. 

Em: Ragdolled, yeah. 

Taylar: Mm-hmm. 

Morgan: And so I’m trying to mentally prepare for that, and that is why I drink. And what am I drinking, you may ask? Well– 

Em: Tell me. 

Morgan: –I really wanted a like Jack Frost sort of drink. 

Em: Ooh! 

Taylar: Oh! 

Morgan: However– 

Taylar: I’m scared. [laughs] 

Morgan: –it’s turned a little purple. [laughs] 

Taylar: [laughs] 

Em: Oh! But by the, but by the neon light, it’s giving a little Halloween. It’s black and purple. 

Taylar: It is. 

Em: Yeah. 

Morgan: Yeah. Well, it is, um– 

Em: What is that? 

Morgan: –vodka, pineapple juice, blue– 

Taylar: We’re getting hammered? I didn’t know. 

Em: [laughs] 

Morgan: –blue curaçao [pronounced “cure-uh-sew”]. Cur– Curaçao [pronounced “cure-uh-co”]. 

Em: Curaçao [pronounced “cure-uh-sow”]? 

Taylar: Yeah. I– 

Morgan: Curaçao [pronounced “cure-uh-sow”]. 

Taylar: Yep. 

Morgan: And, um– And then I was like, “Eugh, tastes like pineapple juice.” So I put– I had a little bit of that pomegranate left over, Taylar. 

Em: It sounds delicious. 

Morgan: Oh, and triple sec. And I was like, “I’ll put a little pomegranate juice in here.” And it went from this beautiful Jack Frost Blue to looks like a absolute hangover in a cup. 

Em: [laughs] 

Taylar: Yeah, it looks like we’re– I’m gonna be dragging you off the floor of that studio. [laughs] 

Em: It l– [laughs] I’m glad someone– 

[Morgan takes a sip of her drink through a clear straw.] 

Em: Look at your dark blue-black drink. Yum. Um– [laughs] 

Morgan: Yummy. Look at my bruise. This is my Christmas bruise, everybody. [Morgan holds up her drink.] 

Em: [laughs] 

Taylar: It is. It sure is. 

Morgan: It’s actually not bad. 

Em: You could call it a, a lump of coal. 

Taylar: Ooh! 

Morgan: It is a lump of coal. 

Em: Yeah. Um, I– 

Taylar: Lump of coal. 

Em: I love that you came here prepared to get drunk. I’m so excited, um, really bringing back the OG And That’s Why We Drink. 

Morgan: Oh, I’m only drinking that, and I’ll probably about halfway it. 

Em: [laughs] We’ll, we’ll all know. 

Taylar: Don’t worry. Morgan, I will ju– join you. 

Morgan: Is my tongue blue? [She sticks her tongue out.] 

Em: [laughs] 

Taylar: A little j– It’s a little blue. 

Morgan: Fuck! Okay, we’re done drinking it. 

Em: She’s showing signs. What about you, Taylar? Why do you drink, and what do you drink? 

Taylar: Well, Em, you never told us what you drink. 

Em: Oh, I drink– Okay, I forgot to get a glass, so I’m drinking an entire bottle of blood orange soda. [Em holds up a glass bottle with a red drink inside.] 

Taylar: Oh, yes. 

Morgan: Ooh! 

Em: Which I’m sure would go great in your little, your little– 

Taylar: It would. 

Em: –charcoal situation. 

Morgan: Yeah. Could you pass that to me? [Morgan reaches her hand out to the camera.] 

Em: Yeah, here you go. [Em holds the bottle up to the camera.] [laughs] 

Morgan: [laughs] 

Taylar: Y– Right through the– 

Morgan: Thank you. 

Taylar: You know that, uh, that like TikTok comment picture where it’s like the hands coming through the– 

Morgan: Escaping. 

Em: [laughs] 

Morgan: It’s like escaping the fourth, uh, wall. 

Taylar: Yes. [laughs] Or it’s like holding the hands, and it’s got like long acrylic nails. And it’s like, “I just want to hold your hand right here, babe.” Yeah, like that. 

Em: [laughs] “I’m holding your hand when I say this.” Yeah. 

Taylar: [laughs] Yes. Um, I drink– What I drink– Of course, um, ADHD. More– I have actually ADD. I’m not as like hyperactive outwardly as I’m hyperactive [Taylar touches her forehead]– 

Em: Interesting. 

Taylar: –in this brain of mine. My husband’s very textbook ADHD, like can’t sit still. 

Em: Mm-hmm. 

Taylar: And I would argue that like I have to move a lot when I’m talking, but it just helps me mo– multitask and pay attention. But everything that’s hyperactive is– 

Em: Or your mouth is the hyperactive part. 

Taylar: She’s never [Taylar mimes a mouth closing with her hand.] 

Em: And I mean that with love. I mean, that’s how we’re all here. We all got– 

Morgan: [laughs] 

Taylar: And, and I take it with love. 

Morgan: Yep. 

Taylar: Don’t worry. 

Em: We all got here with that. 

Taylar: So I have three drinks per “uszh”. Um, I’ve got this– 

Morgan: Three drinks? [laughs] 

Taylar: Three drinks. Um– 

Em: That is ADHD. That all right there was ADHD. I– 

Taylar: Right here, I’ve got a “wawa” [holds up a water bottle], and then– 

Em: One for hydration. 

Taylar: For hydration. Then I have a coffee for some caffeine. 

Em: One for your caffeine. 

Morgan: A little stimulant. 

Em: Uh-huh. 

Taylar: And then I have a health benefit, which is my, uh, broth from Brodo, which, um, our link goes live on the 6th, so– 

Em: [laughs] 

Morgan: [laughs] Not the– 

Taylar: –come and hit us up over there. But I’m loving it. 

Morgan: Not the sly ad placement. [laughs] 

Em: [laughs] 

Taylar: Yeah. And then if you want to try Brodo– 

Morgan: In an episode that’s not ours. [laughs] 

Em: [laughs] 

Taylar: Hey, look. 

Morgan: Use code– 

Taylar: Hey, hey, at the end of the day, you know, Em’s our boss, everybody, if you didn’t know. Um, so Em’s acting like it’s very kind that we showed up here, but at the end of the day, they are our boss. [laughs] 

Em: Oh, no. I, I promise– 

Taylar: I’m joking with you. [laughs] 

Em: I, I promise it is truly out of just enjoying– The reason that, uh, we, we asked you to join us is because we like you guys so much, so. 

Taylar: And we love you guys. Um, so the reason why I drink all three of my drinks is because this morning– [chuckles] Yesterday, I was feeling really motivated. So I was like, “I’m going to go to a Pilates class.” And I do Pilates pretty often. 

Em: Mm-hmm. 

Taylar: Um, but I do reformer Pilates, which means you don’t sweat, and you don’t really do that much because you just– 

Em: That sounds great. 

Taylar: –sit with– It’s am– Em, it is amazing. You just like get your hand in like some loops or your feet in some loops, and you just pretty much go back and forth on a seesaw. 

Em: Ooh. 

Taylar: Like it– It’s more fun to me than it is like a workout. It’s a good stretch. 

Em: Yeah. 

Taylar: So I really enjoy it, and I’m never sweaty after. Like sometimes if I do like a high-intensity class, but I don’t like getting too sweaty. 

Em: Nope. 

Taylar: But my girlfriend was like, “Hey, I went to this mat Pilates class, and it was really good. Like I– My– I’m really s– I felt really good after. I got really sore, but like it wasn’t too much that I wanted to like throw up in the middle of class,” and I was like, “Oh, shit. I could do that.” 

Em: Mm-hmm. 

Taylar: So I booked this class at this mat Pilates place, and I thought I had this in the bag because I’ve done reformer Pilates for so long. Guys, I couldn’t even press the brakes– 

Em: [gasps] 

Morgan: [chuckles] 

Taylar: –in my car leaving there. 

Em: Really? 

Taylar: I’m sitting here– When we clapped before we started recording, I had to put the mic between my– 

Em: [laughs] 

Taylar: –my knees. And my– 

Em: Were you like [claps hands together once and groans], “Ugh!” 

Morgan: You were like [holds up a shaking hand]? 

Taylar: [holds her hand flat out and shakes it up and down] My knees are shaking. 

Em: [laughs] 

Taylar: [laughs] And now I’m like, “Why the hell am I holding this mic?” Because I am getting a shake in the back of my arm right now, and now I’ll never go work out again. So that’s that. 

Em: [laughs] 

Taylar: That was set. 

Morgan: [laughs] And now you’re done for two months. 

Em: Okay. 

Taylar: I’m done for the next two months. But I did– The, the lady was really nice, and me and her just like chatted a little bit before and after class, and she gave me two weeks of unlimited for like a discount. 

Em: Ooh! 

Taylar: And so I was like– And I’m not gonna be like, “No, I’m not taking that.” 

Em: Mm-hmm. 

Taylar: So I was like, “Yeah, sure. Definitely.” And now I’m crying ’cause now I have to go back ’cause I spent $20 bucks. Like I have to go get at least $20 bucks worth. 

Em: No. This is the holidays. You give, you give that as a gift. You gift it to somebody. 

Taylar: Yeah. You’re so right, Em. I’m going to give this m-my girlfriend that told me about this. That’s exactly what I’m gonna do. 

Em: Give it to somebody you hate it sounds like. 

Morgan: I was gonna say, “Don’t, don’t give it to me.” 

Em: [laughs] 

Taylar: I would never, Morgan. I would never give this to you. 

Morgan: ’Cause I will not be there. 

Taylar: E-ever in a million years. 

Em: Give it to someone with like upper arm strength, so me and Morgan are out. [laughs] 

Taylar: [laughs] Guys, they had me doing push-ups. Like how– When– 

Em: Oh… 

Morgan: Oh, yeah. No. 

Taylar: –when have you done a push-up in a class? Now, granted, I had the like– I don’t know if you guys know what a Pilates ring is, but it’s like a– an elastic ring– 

Morgan: Like the arm–? 

Taylar: –that like bends in together. 

Em: Mm. 

Taylar: Like you could put your arms on either side and push it in. It’s like a big circle. 

Em: Yes, yes. 

Taylar: And they had it– You put it between your boobs. 

Em: Mm-hmm. 

Taylar: I’m sorry. Okay. And then you did a push-up like that, so you had help. So I was able to do like a good 20. But then they kept going, and I was like, “Okay.” [laughs] I– [chuckles] 

Em: You sound– You– I– You sound like such a like an– a jock bro just now being like, “I did like a good 20.” It’s like I couldn’t do a good three. 

Morgan: I actually don’t think– 

Taylar: Oh, Em. 

Em: What are you talking about? 

Morgan: Yeah. I don’t think I could clear like a solid perfect form “fushup”– Pushup? Fushup. 

Taylar: Fushup. Yeah. Fushup. 

Morgan: –pushup. 

Em: For a billion dollars, I couldn’t do it. 

Morgan: Like I don’t think I could do two. 

Taylar: Guys, I was on my knees. I had that thing between my boobs and that springs you back up. So you don’t really have to– You’re supposed to push against it. 

Em: I’d snap that shit in half. Oh my god. [laughs] 

Morgan: [laughs] 

Taylar: Em, I think I did. It, It like slipped out of the– The thing like slipped out of the other side. Like the ring like was coming apart, and I put it back together. 

Em: Oh, that’s so humbling. 

Taylar: And I was like, “Okay, I’m done.” [chuckles] 

Em: That’s so humbling. 

Taylar: “I’m done. [laughs] I need to leave this class immediately.” And then she announced to the class, “Yeah, and Taylar’s a true crime podcaster.” 

Em: Oh! [laughs] 

Morgan: Er! 

Taylar: [holds her hand up to cover her face, crouching down as if to hide] And then a criminal defense attorney came up to me. 

Em: Oh! 

Taylar: We’ll move on. 

Em: Well, okay connections. 

Morgan: Oh my god. 

Taylar: So that’s why I drink. Yeah, that’s why I drink, so. 

Em: And what do you drink? Oh, well, you have your three drinks. Sorry. 

Taylar: I already– Yeah, my three drinks, the, the trio. 

Em: Mm-hmm, the triad. Yeah, yeah. 

Taylar: Yes. 

Em: Well, um, thank you again for being here. 

Taylar: Of course. 

Em: And before we get into the stories, uh, Eva will rip my head off if I don’t men-mention this. [chuckles] 

Morgan: I was about to remind you. [chuckles] 

Em: Thank you so much. Uh, yeah. So this, uh, this upcoming year, we are building in some days off on the podcast, which I know a lot of people have, uh, mentioned in passing like they would not be offended if we took a couple days off here and there. I mean, obviously Christine is a mom, and we’re all very busy. So, um, we are doing that. We’re not gonna throw too many days out there just yet, but the first one that we’re going to do is January 4, which I think is the, the– this week? This week coming up. So, um– 

Taylar: Yes. 

Em: –in a couple days where there would be a usual episode, we are going to be taking a day off. I hope everyone’s okay with that. We’re just gonna enjoy the holidays and, uh, get ready for our next recordings. And if we ever do another, um– uh, when we do another episode where– or if we take another day off, we will let you guys know in advance also. So, um, I think that’s the only thing I definitely needed to say. Everything else is just improv at this point. So, um, let’s– 

Taylar: Well, I’m really proud of you guys for doing that. 

Morgan: Yeah. 

Em: Thank you. 

Taylar: That’s a big move. That’s something that’s really important to do. 

Morgan: Me– I’m over here like absolutely– 

Taylar: Morgan’s giving me mean eyes in a– 

Morgan: Like this [Morgan tilts her chin down, looking directly into the camera with a wide grin]. 

Em: Well, I’ll s– 

Taylar: –being like, “Are you gonna do that?” 

Morgan: Just like, “If they do it, then we can too.” [laughs] 

Em: Well, I will say I f– 

Taylar: [laughs] No. 

Em: I fought Christine on this. Christine was the one who has always, uh, been a, a bigger advocate for this, and I always was paranoid that it would give the wrong idea. Nobody would– I-I’m aware logically that people would just be happy for us that we’re taking breaks, and– 

Taylar: Yes. 

Em: –and it’s not that Christine and I don’t deserve breaks or anything like that. But I know Christine for years has suggested it, and I’ve always been really hesitant. And so, um– And then I realized that I really actually didn’t have a good reason to keep fighting it, and, um– So anyway, this is, this is all for Christine rooting for [chuckles] like letting us have peace, so. 

Taylar: Mental health days. Yes, you guys have to take them. 

Morgan: For once in the timeline that I have known you guys, I am Christine and you are Taylar. 

Em: [laughs] 

Taylar: I know. This is the first time it’s ever switched. 

Em: Wow. 

Morgan: Whoa. 

Taylar: I know. 

Em: Well, no– I– Well, I’ve always been paranoid that people would be like, “What does it mean? What does that look–?” Like I, I don’t know. I was in my head about the, the negative comments we would get from it. 

Taylar: Me. Yeah. 

Em: Um, and also because I thought like, “Well, we’ve been doing this for so many years, and we’ve never missed an episode.” Or if we have, we’ve had like, you know, we put a live episode out or something like that. 

Taylar: Mm-hmm. 

Em: And so I’ve always thought, “We’ve always put out content every week, so if we’re now breaking the chain this later– this much later on–“ Like I was always paranoid about what people would think or– I don’t know. 

Taylar: Mm-hmm. 

Em: I was just in my own head about it. 

Taylar: No, you– I mean, you guys have over 400 and what 50 episodes? 

Em: Yeah. 

Taylar: Like you’re well over– And I mean that makes total sense. I mean, Morgan, when we get into the 400s, I, I, I’ll put, I’ll put my shackles down. 

Em: [laughs] 

Morgan: [laughs] Whoa. 

Taylar: It– We’re only in the twos. They’ve been– We’ve got years on that. Just calm– 

Morgan: Whoa. 

Em: [laughs] 

Taylar: No, we, we– 

Em: I, I do– 

Taylar: One day– 

Em: I know, I know your anxieties on this, Taylar– 

Taylar: Yeah. 

Em: –’cause I had them for so long. And I remember there being a conversation forever ago where Christi– I remember Christine and Eva who– Eva was also on this side too. 

Taylar: Mm-hmm. 

Em: I was, I was the, I was the villain here being like, “I don’t, I don’t, I don’t, I don’t know.” I didn’t really have a good answer– 

Taylar: No. 

Em: –but I was just digging my heels in. Um, but so– 

Taylar: Em, as a listener– 

Em: –it’s finally happening, and I’m, I’m actually very happy about it. They were right all along, so. Whatever. 

Taylar: Yes. Yeah, 100%. As a listener of you guys, I really am grateful that you guys are taking the time to do that. And I think the majority of everyone would agree that we would want you to come be your best selves and be rested and be able to, you know, research cases and come with energy rather than– I mean, you guys have been doing this for so long. You got so many things on your plate. I mean, two books. I mean, hell– 

Em: [chuckles] 

Taylar: –take a month off if you need. Seriously. 

Em: Very sweet. Yeah. 

Taylar: Seriously. 

Em: And also Christine– Keep in mind Christine has been touring for I think a full year. 

Taylar: She has. 

Morgan: Wow. 

Em: Like she finally just– She stopped in October. But, um, yeah, that– that’s as– I can understand why she’d be like, “Can I please have a fucking break?” And so, you know– 

Morgan: [laughs] 

Taylar: “Just one weekend, please.” [laughs] Yeah. 

Em: Anyway, um, so that– Yes, January 4 will be our first time taking a day off. Um, and, and there will be more. A– We’ll just let you know when it happens. Um, but yeah, so that’s it. And tha– 

Morgan: On January 4, Em, you need to put your computer, your cell phone, any electronic you have aside. You’re not allowed to look at anything. 

Em: [laughs] Fine. Oh my god. Twist my arm. 

Taylar: And do not travel with a mic. Mm-hmm. 

Morgan: ‘kay? 

Em: I mean, I’ll be needing my phone for TikTok, so– 

Morgan: Okay. 

Taylar: Yeah. 

Em: You know. [chuckles] 

Morgan: You ca– You’re allowed to doomscroll. And that’s it. [laughs] 

Em: [laughs] 

Taylar: You’re allowed to doomscroll. 

Em: Well, um, other than that, we just got some stories to tell everybody. We have six. And again, shout-out to the both of you for handling most of the stories. Um, these come from your email. Yes? These come from your c– your p– your followers. 

Taylar: Yes. 

Morgan: Mm-hmm. 

Em: Um, and then we also have two more that Eva pulled, so we’ve got a mixed bag over here. Um, and you said they’re Christmas-themed? Is that what we’re doing here? 

Taylar: So we’ve got two or three of them that are Christmas-themed, and then the majority of them are actually people who have written these exact stories in to you guys. They’re, they’re your listeners first. And so we were like, “Okay, we’re going to– We’re gonna mix this bag. We’re gonna make it in everyone’s favor so that way their stories get to be read that are lost in y’all’s inbox that have been going for–“ What? How many years now have you guys been doing this? 

Em: We’ve been doing this since 2017, so. 

Taylar: Yeah. 

Em: This year is gonna– 

Taylar: See? We were sophomores in college. 

Morgan: Yeah, I just– Yeah. 

Em: Okay. Well. Hey, now, I’m 90,000 years old, so that’s how that feels. 

Taylar: [laughs] 

Morgan: [laughs] We were just little girls in college. 

Em: [laughs] 

Taylar: Me and Morgan met that year actually, so. 

Morgan: Yeah, we did. 

Em: Really? 

Taylar: Yeah. 

Em: Oh, well, the big– You were just a twinkle in our eye, I guess. 

Morgan: Mm-hmm. 

Taylar: We– Yeah, look at us. Your two daughters just walking out. [laughs] 

Em: [laughs] You know, my mom’s finally so proud of me, um, as the– Desperate for me to have– give her grandchildren. I’ll just be like, “I don’t know. You’ve got Taylar and Morgan. Deal with it.” Um– 

Taylar: It’s us. 

Morgan: [laughs] We can send her a Christmas card or like a holiday card or something. 

Taylar: We can. 

Em: [laughs] 

Taylar: “Merry Christmas. Happy holidays, Grandma.” 

Morgan: We could– You could– 

Em: She’d– She would love it. 

Morgan: You could go like this [cradles her arms in front of her], and then we can photoshop our heads into your arms. 

Em: [laughs] 

Morgan: And it’s– [laughs] 

Taylar: [laughs] Leona’s in Christine’s arms, and it’s me and Morgan in Em’s. 

Em: Do you know what, do you know what my mom calls herself, by the way? She doesn’t even have grandkids, but she’s decided what her grandma name is. 

Taylar: Let’s hear it. 

Em: Her name is Linda. And given the, um, pop culture of the last few years, her– she’s going with Glinda. 

Taylar: [gasps] Love. Love. 

Morgan: Glin– Glinda. 

Em: And she also already unironically owns three tiaras, so– 

Taylar: A-and I would expect nothing less than from a queen. 

Morgan: I love that. What a queen. 

Em: And they’re, they’re real ones. So if you would like– It– I’m just giving you inspiration for if this photoshop happens, just know that– 

Taylar: I’m gonna do it. 

Em: –if you threw her in a bubble, she’d be very excited about it. Um– 

Taylar: [laughs] I’m gonna make it happen. I am. 

Em: [laughs] 

Morgan: Say less. 

Em: Okay. Got it. O– 

Taylar: I’ll be on Canva all night, so. [laughs] 

Morgan: [laughs] 

Em: [laughs] Well, so who wants to read the first story? Uh, would– Anyone wanna volunteer? 

Taylar: Not I, [chuckles] unfortunately. 

Em: Not you? Okay. 

Morgan: I can do it. 

Em: Perfect. Okay. 

Morgan: Unless you want to go, Em. 

Em: Um, I am happy to. I– As the host, I feel like I should offer you to go first if you’d like to. 

Morgan: As the host, you should go first. 

Em: Okay, fine. I’ll go first. 

Taylar: [laughs] 

Em: But I’m gonna read one of your stories. 

Morgan: Okay, do it. 

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Story 1 – My Angel That Visits Me Every Christmas 

Em: Okay, so this is from Danielle, who uses she/her pronouns. Thank you for normalizing pronouns, Danielle. And the title is “My Angel–“? 

Taylar: Oh my god, that’s me. That was my typo. My bad. [laughs] 

Morgan: “My, my angle.” [laughs] 

Em: But like is that– Do you want me to– You want me to read Danielle’s because she’s an idiot? No, I’m– [laughs] 

Taylar: [laughs] 

Morgan: My 90° right angle. [laughs] 

Em: [laughs] Okay, sorry Danielle. I don’t know who wrote that. I’m assuming Taylar. 

Taylar: [laughs] It was me. 

Em: Okay. “My Angel That Visits Me Every Christmas.” And Danielle says, “Hey, Besties! I wanted to share this with you, and I know you will immediately tell me to call Susan.” For those who are, uh, And That’s Why We Drink followers, Susan is their wonderful, wonderful medium. Uh, which– Does she prefer medium? Psy– I don’t know the right– 

Taylar: Psychic, angelic medium. 

Em: Perfect. 

Taylar: White light only. 

Morgan: Mm-hmm. 

Taylar: Yeah. 

Em: And she is, um, incredible. She has helped me and my own family stuff. Um, the second that my aunt had some weird stuff going on, I was like, “I know just who to call.” So thank you– 

Taylar: Call in Susan. 

Em: –for constantly sending us, uh, connections there. 

Taylar: Of course. 

Em: So yes, Danielle’s– Apparently, we’re gonna wanna call Susan after this. Uh, Danielle says, “You don’t have to read–“ Oh, okay. So– 

Taylar: You can read this because it’s what’s funny about it being on here. [laughs] 

Em: Okay. Okay. “You don’t have to read this part on the pod, but I’ve also wrote this into And That’s Why We Drink –“ Aw. “–for three years, but I still shot my shot this year. So each of you are getting the same story because you are my two all-time favorite podcasts.” Well, thank you, and sorry. 

Taylar: [laughs] 

Em: Um, but it’s finally happening. 

Taylar: It’s happened. 

Em: “My name is Danielle. I’m a huge fan of the podcast. This year, I asked my husband to become a Patreon, uh– or a patron on Patreon as my gift. So fingers crossed. And this is pretty emotional for me as I’m highly sensitive and intuitive, but honestly, it’s my favorite story to tell. Okay, hit it.” [mimes tapping something in front of them] Cool. 

Taylar: Boom. 

Em: “Throw that shit on cruise control, pour that shit–“ Oh, am I to– 

Morgan: Pour that shit up! 

Em: Thank you. I was gonna say. 

Taylar: [laughs] 

Em: I, I feel like I’m stealing your line here. Do you want to do it or should I give it a shot? I’ll give it a shot. 

Taylar: E-Em, give it your all. 

Morgan: Yeah. Give it, give it your all. 

Em: Okay. “Hit it,” lady. [makes a motion as if snapping their fingers from side to side in front of them awkwardly.] 

Morgan: [laughs] 

Taylar: [laughs] 

Em: Okay. [laughs] No. “Throw that shit on cruise control. Pour that shit up, and let’s get Christmassy.” Is that fair? 

Taylar: Yes! It’s good. 

Morgan: The “hit it” is killing me. [laughs] 

Taylar: [laughs] Hit it! Uh! [raises her hand up in the air, popping to the side] 

Em: [laughs] [makes the motion again with their hand in front of them] 

Morgan: [copies Taylar, raising her hand up in the air as well] 

Em: Don’t get– Don’t– [laughs] 

Taylar: [snapping their finger while counting in] One, two. One, two, three. Release. Like– 

Em: [laughs] 

Morgan: [laughs] Oh, shit. 

Em: [singing] ♪ I wish that heaven had a ph– ♪♪ 

Taylar: [laughs] 

Em: Okay. [sighs] I’m so humiliated. Okay. “I come from a rather large, close-knit family, and every Christmas Eve would consist– Every Christmas Eve would consist of my immediate family traveling about 45 minutes out to Chicago to spend the holiday at my grandparents’ house with all my aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, nephews, etc. And growing up, my family would go to my grandparents’ on most weekends, spending the night Saturday to Sunday. On Sunday mornings, everyone would get together for breakfast. My grandpa would make his signature apple pancakes–“ Yum. 

Taylar: Mm! 

Morgan: Mm. 

Em: “–along with bacon, eggs, sausage, and biscuits and gravy.” 

Taylar: Mm. 

Morgan: What a chef. 

Em: Oof. Biscuits and gravy really get me fucking talking. I’ll tell you that. 

Taylar: Me too. 

Morgan: Yeah. 

Em: “The house would be filled with the aroma of hearty food, coffee, stories of the good old days, and laughter. Lots and lots of laughter. But Christmas Eve was the most special day of the year. As we would all gather at their house from breakfast to dinner, the adults would gather in the kitchen, chatting and laughing while us kids would run around playing, counting all the presents under the festive glow radiating off of the Christmas tree, and giggling when we would see our name on a gift. Of course, we would shake our perfectly wrapped boxes to guess what mystery items we would soon discover. Every year, we would beg my parents to open presents, and the answer was always the same: ‘Is it dark out yet?’ Now, usually on any other day of the year, that statement would probably be terrifying, to say, uh, the least coming from anyone else.” 

Taylar: [laughs] 

Morgan: [chuckles] 

Em: “But on Christmas Eve, those words were magical.” That’s true. “Is it dark out yet?” Ah! 

Taylar: [in a low voice] “Is it dark out yet?” 

Em: [laughs] 

Morgan: “Is it dark– Is it dark out yet?” 

Em: [laughs] “It would keep us in excited suspense all day long until we could finally unwrap our presents. Looking back, it was probably just an excuse to keep us out of the adults’ hair so they can enjoy their Brandy Alexanders.” 

Taylar: Mm. 

Morgan: Period. 

Em: “And anyway– [chuckles] And once–“ I’m sorry. Dirty charcoal drinks that Morgan makes, um, or something. [laughs] 

Taylar: [laughs] 

Morgan: Easy. [chuckles] 

Em: Uh, “anyway, once it was finally dark out, we would h– all hand out the gifts, tear them open one by one, and finally reveal their contents. When a present would have a bow, we would leap over our grandpa and stick them onto his face and flannel until there were none left.” Precious. 

Morgan: So sweet. 

Em: “Joy would fill the room when he would take off each bow and chase us to put one on each of our foreheads. The night would slow down as we ate desserts, and the adults would sit around the dining room table, and us kids would play with our newest toys until it was time to drive back home, all the while searching the night sky for the glow of Rudolph’s nose, and the sound of Christmas songs lulled us to sleep. Un–” 

Taylar: My god, magical. 

Em: I know. And also hello, writing. Like– 

Taylar: I– 

Morgan: Really though. 

Taylar: And we’re there. We’re here. [laughs] 

Em: [laughs] I’m locked the fuck in actually. 

Taylar: I am listening to the music and looking for Rudolph, so I’m here. 

Morgan: Mm-hmm. 

Em: I’m in the car. The sky is right above me. Yes. 

Taylar: I’m looking out the window. 

Morgan: [laughs] 

Em: [laughs] I’m drinking Brandy Alexanders. Um, “unfortunately, when I was a teenager, my grandfather was diagnosed with stage four cancer–“ 

Taylar: Mm… 

Em: “–and watching this giant of a man during his fight was inspiring. Although he was 6’8”–“ Oh! Really a giant. Okay. 

Taylar: Oh my god. 

Em: Um, “although he was 6’8” and built like a brick house– a shit brick house–“ [laughs] 

Taylar: [laughs] 

Morgan: [laughs] “Shit brick house.” 

Em: “–uh, his personality was even larger than his physical form. After a few long years battling, he succumbed to the illness, fighting all the way until the very end. For anyone who has ever lost someone, the firsts are always the hardest. The first Christmas without him there wasn’t as much laughter as before. And it was more somber, and the stories told were more o– so reminiscing of what once was and talking of what it would be like if he was still there with us to celebrate the holiday. There was no one to tell us to wait until nightfall to open presents. No one to place all of our bows and chase us to return the favor. And the whole night, I just remember waiting and wishing for him to give me a sign that he was with us on his second favorite holiday (his first being St. Patrick’s Day, of course.)” 

Morgan: [chuckles] 

Taylar: Yeah, that is ou– mine and Morgan’s favorite holiday, um, if you– 

Em: Is it? 

Taylar: It is. We do an entire special where we get fucked up– 

Em: Love that. 

Taylar: –on the podcast. 

Em: Love that. 

Taylar: Um, and we tell Irish lore every single St. Patty’s Day. It’s our favorite holiday ever. 

Morgan: ’Cause the lore goes deep. 

Taylar: Deep. 

Em: Was it– 

Taylar: Deep. 

Em: But was it your favorite before the podcast? Or is it just like, oh, drinking and drinking? You know what I mean? 

Morgan: Drinking. 

Taylar: Em, unfortunately, it’s drinking, and I love Ireland. 

Em: Okay. 

Taylar: ’Cause I studied– 

Morgan: Taylar d– Taylar did a study abroad semester in Ireland. 

Taylar: Let me tell my tale. 

Morgan: It became her, it became her entire personality– 

Taylar: It did. 

Morgan: –for the next three years. 

Em: Really? 

Taylar: And for the– And well, actually more than that now ’cause look where we’re at, and I’m still making my life all about it. 

Em: [laughs] 

Morgan: Yeah. 

Taylar: I made an entire day dedicated to it on our podcast. Like I went in 20– What? 2018? 2019? And it was just so awesome, and I loved all the lore. Like I got to go to like storytelling like seminars with like true Irish storytellers that went into like mythological history. It was the best. So anyways, we really relate with grandpa. I’m obsessed with him. Beyond. 

Em: Love that. My– Actually, my grandma, my gammy, her favorite day was also, uh, St. Patrick’s Day, so. I, I don’t know if it’s a– 

Taylar: Aw. And did you know that– Yeah, Halloween’s also an Irish holiday, so like– 

Em: Mm-hmm. 

Taylar: An Irish base. So like– 

Morgan: It fits. 

Taylar: –two favorite holidays. Boom. 

Em: It fits. It fits. It fits. 

Taylar: It does. 

Em: Good to know. Okay. “The whole, the whole night, I just remember waiting and wishing for him to give me a sign that he was with us. But I didn’t feel his presence, just his absence. No signs, no smells, nothing. And the night when we got home, I was mentally and emotionally exhausted, and I don’t even remember falling asleep. Then, out of nowhere, I was suddenly back at my grandparents’ house in the guest room where I had slept countless nights. Confused, I peeked out of the room down the hall, only to realize that it was now daylight. As I walked slowly through the hall to the top of the stairs, my sense of smell was heightened by something familiar, and it was the delicious smell of apple pancakes.” 

Taylar: No… 

Em: “Cautious, I slowly walked down the stairs to see my entire family gathered and laughing around the table, passing my grandpa’s famous food spread to one another. And as I turned to face the kitchen, I was downright floored bu– by what I saw. There stood my grandfather frying bacon with a warm smile on his face.” 

Taylar: I’m gonna cry. 

Em: “I heard him give a thunderous, hearty laugh at something that must have been said around the table, but I was too shocked to pay attention to what was actually said. It was like I was watching my previous memories play out in front of me as if it were a movie, and I stood frozen in awe. And I stayed that way for what seemed like hours, watching the scene of the entire day play out before my eyes. I didn’t even know how this was possible. And from breakfast all the way until dinner, I watched my lively family go through the motions of the Christmas Eves we’ve celebrated for so many years, beginning with breakfast all the way past dinner. Finally, the kids slowed their play to ask my grandpa if it was time to open presents, and he said yes.” I literally have full-blown goosebumps. 

Taylar: Aw. 

Em: “Casually, everyone walked to the living room out of my view to flock to their seats for gifts to be opened, and I realized I was the only one left in the kitchen. Finally, I willed myself to move.” The fact that you were standing there for arguably 12 hours maybe, and you’re now moving is– 

Taylar: [laughs] I was about to say– 

Morgan: [chuckles] Yeah. 

Em: My gosh. Um, “I made my way into the living room, expecting to see the room full of people, only to find it was empty except for my grandfather.” 

Taylar: Oh. 

Em: Oh man. [sighs] “As I looked at the man I adored my entire life, he gently smiled and rose his arms out to his side, and a dim white glow radiated from behind him as he spoke–“ Ohh, hang on. “‘I love my family. It’s all right, hon. It’s beautiful over here.’” 

Taylar: Oh god. Oh my god. 

Em: “That’s when I shot up from my sleep, feeling hot tears streaming down my face. And although I realized it was all a dream, it felt too entirely real. Like I had really reli– really relived that moment in time. As I looked over at the clock, it was 4 a.m. And as hard as I tried, I couldn’t get myself to go back to sleep, so I laid in bed until about 8 a.m. My two sisters and I met in our own living room. I could tell my oldest sister had already been awake, and she looked exhausted. She grabbed us each a mug of coffee, which she rarely did. We sat down waiting for our parents to wake up, and I could tell she’d been crying, so I asked what was wrong. As the three of us sat on the couches, she said, ‘I woke up early and couldn’t go back to sleep. I had the weirdest dream, and I can’t shake it.’ My other sister said that she had one too, and I also shared that I had one as well. That’s when each of us described the dreams we had. Moreover, the same dream.” 

Morgan: Oh my god. 

Em: “We each experienced the same exact dream in every single way. From the smell of the pancakes down to the end when my grandfather spoke the same words.” Oof. “As we–“ 

Taylar: Wow. 

Em: “As the shock wore off, we felt a sense of comfort rather than fear. It confirmed that he was there alongside us the entire night before. But here’s the kicker. Every single year since, all three of us have had that same dream on Christmas Eve, except for the year we lost my grandma. That year at the end of the dream, it wasn’t just him covered in light.” Oh my god. “In that dream that year, my grandmother was at his side, head resting on his shoulder, sharing the same gentle smile. And as you can guess, my sisters each saw the same thing as well. Call it supernatural or sensitive intuition, but we are visited by the both of them year after year. I know it’s crazy and hard to believe, but it happens every year without fail, and we look forward to seeing them each time. Now I have children of my own, it’s always bittersweet to imagine how much they would have loved them. And I’ll always cherish the memories I have with my grandparents and continue to live every day hoping to make them proud of the mother I’ve become. [sniffles] Now I’m the one who makes apple pancakes [chuckles] for my kids on Christmas morning–“ 

Taylar: [pretends to sob] 

Em: “–and place extra bows on every Santa gift. I’m sorry this was so long, but I hope I– by sharing my experience, it brings some comfort to those missing a loved one a little extra this year. I believe they’re always with us, even if we can’t see them. And I don’t exactly know what happens when our time comes to an end, but if it– if this has shown me anything, it’s that there must be something or someone waiting for us on whatever the other side may be.” [quietly] Oh my god… [normal speaking voice] That’s– 

Taylar: [sighs] 

Em: Thank you, Danielle. And also wow. That– Really, I mean– 

Taylar: Wow. 

Em: How– First of all, just, just in a world of like– Christine and I are always talking about how we wish we could control our dreams. To just know confidently you’re gonna have the dream is so cool. 

Morgan: Yeah. 

Taylar: That is. 

Em: But– And to feel like you’re really transported into a whole day. You get to experience a whole day every year with your grandparents. That’s sick ’cause it’s not just like, “Oh, I get a glimpse of him.” It’s from morning until night. “I get to spend a whole day with him every year.” 

Morgan: Yeah. 

Taylar: Like you get to actually do exactly what you guys would be doing that night. And, you know, it’s so ki– it’s so sweet to think that he loved this holiday so much and so did Grandma that like– 

Em: Yeah. 

Taylar: –they save up so much energy to– 

Em: Yes. 

Morgan: All year long. 

Taylar: –to perform here for everyone. I mean, tha– 

Morgan: Mm-hmm. 

Taylar: –that must take a ton of energy. And then, you know, it comes down back to– We always get back to it at the very least somehow. It’s like what exactly is a dream? What is going on– 

Em: Mm-hmm. 

Taylar: –like in our heads with these dreams? And how does spirit know how to manip– manipulate them? And it’s so like powerful that they are able to put you there with the smell– 

Em: Yeah. 

Taylar: –with the look of everything, the lighting of everything. Like it takes so much energy and so much time. 

Em: [sighs] 

Taylar: It’s such a beautiful story, Danielle. Thank you for that one. 

Em: That’s incredible. 

Morgan: It’s beautiful. 

Em: And it– It’s also– It’s what all of us can only hope to experience if something were to ever– if there were to ever be a tragedy. Like you– 

Taylar: Exactly. 

Em: Very jealous of you as well, Danielle, and your whole family. 

Taylar: [chuckles] 

Em: So, um, anyway, someone else go. [chuckles] [Em picks up their juice, uncorking the bottle. It makes a loud ‘pop!’, surprising and startling Em.] [laughs] 

Taylar: [laughs] 

Morgan: [laughs] 

Em: [laughs] Someone else go. 

Morgan: Thank you, Danielle. 

Story 2 – Mamaw Died on Xmas 

Morgan: Okay, the next one we have is from Timber, using they/he pronouns– 

Em: Love that. 

Morgan: –and the title is “Mamaw Died–“ Mamaw, right? 

Em: Mm-hmm. 

Taylar: Mamaw. 

Morgan: Okay. “Mamaw died on Xmas.” “Hey besties, Timber here.” [silence as Morgan reads ahead.] “I used to go by Jake–“ 

Em: Is– 

Taylar: How– 

Em: Does, does it say ankle or something? Or angle? 

Taylar: [laughs] 

Morgan: [laughs] No, it doesn’t. 

Em: Okay. 

Morgan: Okay. I have permission to say this. “I used to go by Jake. I had the insanely creepy account and about being haunted in rural Indiana.” 

Taylar: Yes. 

Morgan: “All of this is fine to say out loud.” 

Em: I see. 

Morgan: Okay, I remember that. 

Em: Okay. 

Taylar: Okay. Okay, I remember you. 

Morgan: “I don’t really feel really festive anymore as an adult due to some childhood stuff, but I decided last year to s– go spend Christmas with my best friend and her husband’s up in Chicago.” I’m so sorry, guys. [reaches up, taking one of her AirPods out of her ear] One of these has to come out because the way I’m hearing myself– 

Taylar: [chuckles] 

Em: While talking? Yeah. 

Morgan: –talk. I’m [chuckles] gonna crash out. 

Em: Morgan has, Morgan has been [chuckles] trying on some new extra suction-y AirPods, and I think that the voice in your head was a little too insane. 

Morgan: I would– 

Taylar: [laughs] 

Morgan: And my tongue’s blue, so it’s even worse. 

Em: [laughs] 

Taylar: [laughs] 

Morgan: [laughs] Okay, let me back the fuck up. Okay. Sorry, Timber. Okay. “I don’t really feel really festive anymore as an adult due to some childhood stuff, but I decided last year to go spend Christmas with my best friend and her husband’s up in Chicago. They are my chosen family, and I love them to the moon and back. I’m moving there next year.” 

Taylar: Hey, Timber. 

Morgan: “The morning I was going to leave after work, I got a text from my mom at 7:30 a.m. saying, ‘Mamaw is in the hospital.’” 

Em: Mm. 

Morgan: “I responded, asking if it’s serious and if I need to leave work. The lady leaves me on read for an hour saying, ‘Yeah, I would,’ and then– 

Taylar: [laughs] 

Em: [chuckles] 

Morgan: “–doesn’t respond with any details.” [chuckles] 

Em: [chuckles] Oh my god. 

Taylar: Is, is this Bethann? Timber, is your mom named Bethann Mounts? 

Morgan: No, literally, my mother would be like, “I mean, yeah, I would.” Like what– 

Taylar: “Yeah, I mean, sure. Come down.” 

Morgan: Like, “Why are you asking me?” 

Em: There’s that– There– 

Taylar: Le– L– Doesn’t respond for an hour. [laughs] 

Em: There is that trend of like sometimes you just have to read your mom’s text and keep moving on th– 

Taylar: Yes. [laughs] 

Morgan: [chuckles] Literally. 

Em: –’cause like my mom would be like, “Oh, yeah, someone got hit by a car and is now– like they’re inside out. But I don’t know. I don’t know if that’s important to you.” It’s like, “Yeah, girl.” 

Taylar: [chuckles] “Yeah, Mom.” 

Em: “That so is.” 

Taylar: “For sure.” 

Em: Yeah. Uh, so– Okay. My mom would do the same thing of going, “if you want.” And it’s like, “Yeah, uh, abs-absolutely should.” 

Taylar: [chuckles] 

Morgan: “I call my brother, and he tells me the information that I need. I look at my boss, and I say, ‘Um, I– My grandma is dying. I got to mosey on outta here.’” 

Taylar: [chuckles] 

Morgan: “And I drive like a speed demon to the hospital in Indiana, cursing and screaming at anyone who cut me off, probably looking insane as my face is red from crying. I get to the hospital. No one is there, so I find a nurse, and she kindly points to me– points me to where she is and gives me a few minutes with her.” 

Em: Mm. 

Morgan: “Mamaw had some sort of infection, so I couldn’t touch her to say goodbye, and she was unresponsive at the time of my arrival.” 

Taylar: Mm. 

Morgan: “I stand there trying not to cry and tell her that I’m sorry for all the holidays I didn’t come to and that I missed her and that I loved her. Obviously, nothing happened, so I leave and run into my aunt and catch up for a while before leaving for Chicago, crying the whole four-hour drive there, listening to Em and Christine and y’all–“ 

Em: [pretends to flip their hair back] 

Taylar: [grins widely] 

Morgan: “–to get through the 4.5 - 5 hour drive through Indiana from Louisville to Chicago. I had a wonderful time in Chicago, feeling a hair guilty enjoying my time, knowing my mamaw was dying. But I knew she’d be pissed at me if I canceled fun to fuss over her in a hospital waiting room.” My mother also. 

Em: [chuckles] 

Taylar: This is– Like your mamaw is such a Kentucky mamaw that like I, I– 

Em: [chuckles] 

Taylar: –I’m reading her so like exactly. 

Morgan: Yeah. 

Taylar: She would be so pissed, and she like– “You’re gonna go celebrate Christmas? Go.” 

Morgan: [in elderly, Southern voice] “Timber, what you doin’ here wastin’ all that time of yours?” 

Taylar: Yeah. [in Southern accent] “Timber, no. No, no.” 

Em: [chuckles] 

Taylar: “Go hang out with your friends in Chicago. I’ll be all right.” 

Morgan: [chuckles] “She always said I was gonna fuss myself to death if I didn’t have a little fun now and then (I’m her oldest).” 

Taylar: Mm-hmm. 

Morgan: The firstborn– 

Em: [chuckles] 

Morgan: –the golden child. “I’m also her step-grandkid, and whenever I’d get teased or one of the nasty ladies on the hill would bring it up, she’d tell them to hush up.” 

Em: Love it. 

Taylar: Mm-hmm. 

Morgan: “She’d always tell me that I was 100% hers and that God just got me to her a little late. It’s–“ 

Taylar: I love your mamaw. 

Morgan: “–Christmas Double Eve–“ So is that Christmas Eve Eve? 

Taylar: Mm-hmm. 

Em: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. 

Morgan: “–and I drive back home, so I can go back in on Christmas Eve as she still hadn’t passed and I didn’t have the day off. Cut to Christmas Day, and I feel like shit still, so I lay around the house drinking Moscow Mules, eating orange chicken and gingerbread cookies–“ What a fucking mix there. [chuckles] 

Em: It is. [chuckles] 

Taylar: Line up right there. 

Morgan: “I–“ 

Em: Your tummy is gonna feel crazy. 

Morgan: Yep. “–(I bought like 20 rolls of dough from Kroger the week before – oops), and watching whatever semi-trashy Investigation Discovery show I could find on HBO Max before just throwing it on Tubi to have some noise, whatever. I didn’t care. It was around 5 p.m., and I step out to start my Xmas Night walk about, getting to the back half of my route to come home when I hear her distinct laugh around me. Thinking I was just drunk and sad, I brushed it off.” 

Em: Mm. 

Morgan: “I come back home to my cat curled up on the couch and Flowers In The Attic playing on TV.” Have you guys seen that movie? 

Taylar: Yes. 

Em: I’ve heard it– of it but not watched it. 

Morgan: I, I don’t know what was up with me as a child, but I really loved those books and the Lifetime movies– 

Taylar: [cough-chuckles] Oh? 

Morgan: –especially when– and then– 

Em: What was up with you is you were meant for this po– to be a podcaster about true crime. 

Taylar: You were born to do this. [chuckles] 

Em: [chuckles] 

Morgan: Um, yeah, ’cause it was like all about incest, Flowers in the Attic– 

Taylar: [chuckles] 

Em: It– 

Morgan: –and I was like, “This is awesome. They’re making it into a Lifetime movie, Mom.” And she’s like, “Oh, that’s great, honey.” 

Em: You know when I was a– 

Taylar: “Yeah. Don’t tell your friends that.” [laughs] 

Em: –when I was a kid, one of my most bonding experiences with my mom was watching the most fucked up Law and Order: SVU episodes. 

Taylar: [laughs] 

Morgan: [laughs] 

Em: And if it wasn’t incredibly fucked up, we wouldn’t even turn it on that night. But we would– We– You know, it would show you like a little blurb about what it was about? 

Taylar: Yeah. 

Em: If it wasn’t about some like child ring, like we would be like, “Ugh, boring.” Like– 

Morgan: [chuckles] “Boring!” 

Taylar: [laughs] “Bored. Boo!” 

Em: Yeah. 

Taylar: “Boo!” [mimes throwing tomatoes at the screen] Tomato, tomato, tomato. No. [laughs] 

Em: [laughs] 

Morgan: “Next!” [laughs] “For some reason, this was my mamaw’s favorite movie–“ I am your mamaw. 

Taylar: Oh my god. 

Morgan: “–and she always made us watch it with her (even though it’s about a grandmother who locks her grandkids up in the attic, plots to kill them with rat poison).” And then also the grandkids are– 

Taylar: [nods knowingly] Yeah. 

Morgan: –you know, having children. 

Em: [chuckles, wincing] Mm. 

Morgan: “I checked my phone, and there’s a missed call and voicemail from my mom that had come in while I was on my walk to tell me that Mamaw had passed away. I knew then that I did hear her laugh on the walk and that she had put the movie on in her own sense of humor to let me know she was here and thinking about me.” 

Em: Aw. 

Morgan: “Sorry this is so long. I hope you have a– both have a– hope you all have a very merry Christmas. Much love from a Kentuckian in Maryland, Timber.” 

Taylar: Timber. Timber, your mamaw. 

Morgan: That’s sweet. 

Taylar: I love your mamaw. And yeah, 100% I believe that she did like come and cackle and was like, “Wait ’til you get back home–“ 

Em: Yeah. 

Morgan: Yeah. 

Taylar: “–and see what I put on the TV for you, bitch.” [laughs] 

Morgan: “Ha! You thought you were gonna enjoy your little walk?” [chuckles] 

Em: One last laugh. One last laugh. 

Morgan: Oh, that was good. 

Taylar: Aw. 

Em: Thank you, Timber, for sharing that. 

Taylar: Thank you, Timber. 

Em: By the way, we never even talked about it. This thing [holds up their juice bottle] exploded in my face. 

Morgan: [laughs] 

Taylar: It did. What– Where’d you bring it from? Like Denver? 

Morgan: Are you okay? [laughs] 

Em: [laughs] 

Taylar: Like what happened? [laughs] 

Em: I don’t know what happened. I got it from World Market. I just– But it just– I went to open it, and it just– [closes their eyes, leaning back as if getting splashed in the face] [laughs] 

Morgan: [laughs] 

Taylar: Oh my god. 

Em: Anyway. 

Morgan: Blinded you. 

Em: Whatever. 

Story 3 – My Decade Long Demon Stalker and How I Exorcised My Boyfriend 

Taylar: You know what, Em? How about I let you take Marigold, and I’ll take Lynnie? 

Em: Sure. 

Taylar: Because Lynnie’s very long, and you already did the longest one outside of this one. 

Em: Okay. 

Taylar: So I’ll go ahead and do Lynnie instead. 

Em: Perfect. 

Taylar: Okay. So the next one we have is from Lynnie, using she/her pronouns. And the title is “My Decade Long Demon Stalker and How I Exorcised My Boyfriend.” 

Morgan: Whoa. 

Em: Love. And I’ve always said that. 

Taylar: [laughs] 

Morgan: So this one’s not Christmassy. 

Taylar: This is one of the non-Christmassy ones– 

Em: Okay. 

Taylar: –as you can tell so far. So Lynnie says, “Hey besties! I hate my name being on the internet anywhere, so you can just call me Lynnie (she/her). Obviously, I have to start out by saying I love you guys and your podcast, and I think I found you from And That’s Why We Drink.” 

Em: Very sweet. 

Morgan: Shout-out! 

Taylar: “I have been listening non-stop and personally love when you guys ramble at the beginning. A 70 minute creepy account? Sign me up.” 

Morgan: [chuckles] Guilty. 

Em: [laughs] You know what? I’m– Tell– My favorite thing about the two of you is that you will never stop talking. I– 

Morgan: [laughs] 

Taylar: We will never stop. We will never stop. 

Em: I love it. I– 

Taylar: You need us to fill space? We got you. 

Em: [laughs] 

Taylar: [laughs] Um. “Anyways, the title i– of this is actually not clickbait–“ So side note for anyone who doesn’t listen to our show: we ask that you clickbait the hell out of us in all of your creepy account and your listener stories because like if it just– if they all said “creepy account”– 

Morgan: That’s about as far as we read. 

Taylar: –we’re like, “Okay, it’s a creepy account. Cool.” 

Morgan: “Boring! Next.” [chuckles] 

Taylar: But if you say “my demon stalker who– and I had to exorcise my boyfriend,” I’m in it. Like I’m on it. I’m in it. I’m all around it. 

Em: Smartest thing you could ever have asked anyone to do. 

Taylar: So [chuckles] that’s why you hear a lot of p– us talking about like clickbait. Anyways, um, “this title is actually not clickbait and is the decade-long story of a demon that has been stalking me from 13 to 25 years old.” 

Morgan: Holy shit. 

Taylar: “So please bear with me because this will be a long creepy account, and I really hope you guys read it, mostly because I just love to hear your commentary on everything.” 

Em: Aw. 

Taylar: “I’m also going to try and write this in a way that is pleasing to Taylar.” 

Em: [laughs] 

Taylar: So all of our ADHD friends, let’s go. 

Em: Love that. 

Taylar: “So grab a drink because this shit is fried as fuck.” [chuckles] 

Morgan: Oh, shit. 

Taylar: Okay, I’m scared. 

Em: [laughs] Okay. 

Taylar: Um, this section is called The Beginning. “All this fuck shit started at eighth grade– at an eighth grade sleepover. Can you guess what we decided would be a super fun idea?” 

Em: I can. 

Taylar: “That’s right. A good ole Ouija board.” [chuckles] 

Em: Yep. 

Morgan: Mm, yep. It’s a great idea. 

Em: Every time. 

Taylar: “It–“ 

Morgan: Never fails. 

Taylar: “–w–“ Oh, “it was my and three– It was me and three other girls: J, K, and A. We got some cardboard, a Sharpie, and a medicine bottle cap, and we were ready to connect with whoever would talk with us. We looked up the rules beforehand (because we were that stupid)–“ 

Em: [laughs] 

Taylar: “–and then got to it.” [laughs] “Of course–“ 

Morgan: [chuckles] [as if googling] “How to use Ouija board.com.” 

Taylar: [as if googling] “How to make and use one.” And I’m sure it’s like, “Disclaimer.” 

Em: [as if googling] “How to summon demons.” Yeah. 

Morgan: [laughs] 

Taylar: [laughs] “Of course, we started out asking, “Is anybody there?” and to our surprise, the bitch began to move.” 

Em: Mm. 

Taylar: “We didn’t believe that, that shit though. Clearly, one of us was just moving it to be funny. So we thought the smart thing to do would go around, taking turns, taking our fingers off the, quote unquote, ‘planchet’–“ medicine bottle cap “–and asking questions only we knew. So K took her fingers off and asked, ‘When is my mom’s birthday?’ And the board got it right.” 

Em: [gasps] 

Taylar: “Then A took her fingers off and asked, ‘What brand of underwear am I wearing?’” 

Em: Oh. 

Taylar: “And it got it right.” 

Em: Okay, freak. [laughs] 

Morgan: What an odd– 

Taylar: Holy shit. 

Morgan: What an odd question. 

Taylar: Okay. [chuckles] 

Em: Like that ghost is a little freaky. Okay. [laughs] 

Taylar: A little freaky shit. [laughs] Um, “We all took turns doing this and were, and were decidedly convinced that we were actually talking to something from the other side. Now it was our turn to ask it some information about itself. So we asked, ‘What’s your name?’ And yes, friends, it was none other than the infamous demon we all know.” 

Em: Oh, shit. 

Taylar: “I don’t, [chuckles] I don’t say that name anymore because I believe it opens a door for it to re-enter my life, so I’ll just say ‘Jojo’–“ 

Em: Mm-hmm. 

Morgan: Ah, yep. 

Taylar: “–(I know you know what that means.)” Oh, yeah. The one that Em just said very openly on our podcast one time– 

Em: What? 

Taylar: –during the, um– What was that when we played, uh, Hot Ones? We did the Hot Ones Trivia, and we were talking about demons, and you were like, “Z–“ [makes mumbled noises meaningfully instead of finishing the name]. 

Em: Yeah, the o– 

Morgan: Zippity zoo da zay? 

Em: [laughs] 

Taylar: And we were like, “Em?” 

Em: Hey– 

Taylar: “Zip it.” 

Morgan: “Whoa, whoa.” 

Em: –I would apol– I would apologize. And I, I guess I will if it helps, but, um, I like the theatrics. I don’t know what to tell you. 

Morgan: You do. And we live for them too. Dramatics. 

Em: I like the flare. And if a– if anything ever happens, uh, towards me, that is that– I’ll take the karma. I’ll, I’ll take it. 

Morgan: [laughs] 

Taylar: [laughs] “So we stayed on with Jo for a little longer–“ 

Em: Mm-hmm. 

Taylar: “–said goodbye, and then went to bed. Well, I can’t remember the exact dream, but I know I had a nightmare that night. I woke up the next morning and told my friends about it. My friend J said, ‘No way. I had a nightmare about you too.’” 

Em: Agh! 

Taylar: “Well, fuck me.” 

Em: Yeah. [laughs] 

Taylar: “We pu–“ [laughs] 

Morgan: Mm. 

Taylar: “We pulled that damn board back out and asked if it was in our dream last night, and it said ‘Yes.’” 

Em: [gasps] Oh… 

Taylar: [sighs] “We then asked–“ 

Morgan: I hate this. 

Taylar: “–if it was attached to one of us, and that motherfucker spelled my name out for everyone to see.” 

Em: Well, I– First of all, hate it. Second of all, I love how Lynnie– Is her name Lynnie? 

Taylar: Lynnie, yes. 

Em: –went to their friend and said, “Oh, I had a dream, blah, blah, blah. It was terrible.” And they went, “Yeah, me too. About you.” 

Taylar: [laughs] 

Em: And I’m like, “Oh, okay. Like I thought we were sharing that we all have the same dream. But I guess I’m the main character everywhere. Okay.” [laughs] 

Morgan: [chuckles] 

Taylar: “I guess it’s me.” Great, great, great. 

Morgan: Main character energy. 

Taylar: [laughs] “We said Goodbye, and we burned the bitch.” 

Em: Mm-hmm. 

Taylar: This next section is called Sleep Paralysis. 

Em: Ooh. 

Taylar: “Not long after my encounter with Jo, I began having sleep paralysis. The first occurrence, I was laying in bed facing my door, which I kept open to sleep, and began drifting off. Next thing I knew, I was paralyzed, and a dark figure was at the end of the hallway, just standing there.” 

Em: Ooh. 

Taylar: [coughing] Holy shit. [coughing] 

Em: [in a spooky tone of voice] And that’s what he said. [laughs] 

Taylar: Jojo got me. 

Em: [laughs] 

Taylar: Jojo got me. Oh my god. I was getting choked. [drinks water] 

Em: [laughs] 

Taylar: I’m scared. 

Em: Thank god you have all three drinks there. Um– 

Morgan: [laughs] 

Taylar: I know. One of my three. Okay, so Jojo, please fuck off away from me. 

Em: [laughs] 

Taylar: Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Um, where was I at? Okay. “–standing at the end of the hallway, just st– st–“ I can’t even say it without choking. What the hell? 

Em: [chuckles] It feels a little real. A little too real. 

Taylar: It does. Um, “This figure was shorter, a little heavier set, [laughs] and had on a short top hat.” I’m sorry. All I’m envisioning is the little rat from, um, Cinderella that’s got– 

Em: [laughs] 

Taylar: Gus-Gus. Is that Gus-Gus? 

Morgan: [chuckles] Gus-Gus? 

Taylar: Like that’s all, that’s all that I’m seeing at the end of your hallway, just so you know. “And– 

Em: [laughs] Horrifying. 

Taylar: “–I, I always said that he kind of looked like Al Capone.” Okay. Sorry, not Gus-Gus. Al Capone. 

Morgan: See, I’m, I’m seeing like Hat Man’s son. 

Em: Yeah. 

Taylar: [laughs] 

Em: Like, like a little– Like a short pudgy 10-year-old version of the Hat Man. Yeah. 

Taylar: [laughs] 

Morgan: [laughs] Of the Hat Man. 

Taylar: “The next night, I was trying to fall asleep again, same position, and the same thing happened. However, this time, the figure was in my doorway and was the more typical ‘Hat Man’ that everyone sees: tall–“ 

Morgan: He’s evolving. 

Taylar: ”–skinny, top hat. The figure began to walk into my room towards me. I heard something crinkle by my bed, and then the figure began to climb onto my bed–“ 

Em: Oh… [sighs] 

Taylar: “–placing its hands at the foot of my bed.” 

Morgan: Ew. 

Taylar: “However, the weight of the hands on my bed caused my leg to fall, and I, quote, ‘woke up.’” 

Em: Oh my fucking god. 

Taylar: “I looked around my bed, and that crinkling noise I heard was a cl– was a plastic bag by the side of my bed that now had a foot-sized indent in it.” 

Morgan: Ew, ew, ew. 

Taylar: “I knew I wasn’t dreaming, and I told my mom everything. But of course, she said it was just a nightmare.” “Go back to bed, babe. You’re fine.” 

Em: “Mom, get out.” Like– 

Taylar: “Mom.” [chuckles] “The third night, I thought to myself, ‘Maybe if I fall asleep away from the door, it won’t happen.’ So that’s what I did. It did not work, besties. I was paralyzed, knew something was in my room, and couldn’t see what it was. This thing crawled onto my bed, got right behind me, and it began to lick my ear.” 

Em: Bitch! 

Taylar: “Yes–” 

Em: What? 

Taylar: “–my motherfucking ear.” Agh! 

Morgan: The fucking kink of Hat Man. 

Taylar: [makes a loud licking sound] 

Em: [chuckles] Okay, so everyone’s got one. 

Taylar: No… 

Em: Um– 

Taylar: [laughs] 

Em: –like please be respectful, Morgan. 

Taylar: Underwear, Hat Man, licking ears. Okay. Look– 

Morgan: [laughs] 

Em: [laughs] Okay. No, so I thought the worst thing you could possibly say is that she felt it climb back into the bed. And then I thought, “Well, surely if that’s the worst thing, maybe it like tries to like spoon her or touch her?” 

Taylar: That’s what I was thinking. We were gonna do little spoon, yeah. 

Em: Now– But in the same moment that all of that is actually nothing compared to how bad it is, I’m finding out he has a tongue and knows how to use it. You know what I’m saying? 

Taylar: And guys– 

Em: [wags their tongue while vocalizing] Bleh-eh-eh-eh. 

Taylar: –is it a pointy tongue? 

Em: Yeah. 

Morgan: No, I’m thinking like snakes– 

Em: Snake. Like it’s flat and thin– 

Morgan: Snake, snake tongue. Yeah. 

Em: –and light ar– Yeah. 

Morgan: Uh-huh. 

Em: Light as a feather. 

Taylar: [groans in disgust] [sighs] 

Em: Do you, Do you think it was a slow lick or just like– Do you think I think it was like a boop? Like– 

Taylar: I think it was like a [raises her hand with the back of her hand facing the camera and slowly dragging her hand up, flipping it over simultaneously to the palm of her hand as she makes a slow and wet licking sound] 

Em: Eugh! 

Morgan: Oh god! 

Em: Eugh! 

Taylar: That’s what I think. Like– 

Morgan: I hate that. 

Taylar: –a drag up. Oh god. 

Em: Uh, yeah. Certainly. 

Morgan: Okay. 

Em: How do you– 

Taylar: Someone give me a cigarette. I need a break. I need a break. 

Em: But also– I do have to ask how do we know it was a lick and not just like maybe his hands are like wet? 

Morgan: Wet. 

Taylar: I– So what I’m thinking is that there had to be a sound effect by it for, for Lynnie to know that it was a lick on the ear. 

Morgan: [makes slow and wet licking sound] 

Em: Or feeling hot breath. 

Taylar: Or breathing– I was about to say [exhales into the microphone, then gasps audibly in disgust]. 

Em: [makes raspy breathing sounds while mimicking a long lick] 

Morgan: I’m sick. 

Taylar: [groaning and laughing in disgust] 

Em: [laughs] 

Morgan: I’m sick. Ill. 

Em: I hate this. 

Taylar: And it happens again because “the fourth night (yes, besties, I was tormented four nights in a row), I didn’t see anything. I have since learned that people can have auditory sleep paralysis, and this is something I also experienced. I was laying in bed, starting to drift off, heard something clap twice right by my ear." It was us testing to get the mics working. 

Em: [laughs] 

Taylar: “Y’all, [laughs] y’all ever seen The Conjuring and that fucking clap game they play? And the mom gets two claps by her ear? Yeah, it was exactly that.” I’m sorry. We can’t talk about The Conjuring and sleep paralysis. [makes the sign of the cross] Hallowed be thy name. 

Morgan: No. 

Taylar: Like no, we’re not. [shudders] No. 

Em: [laughs] 

Taylar: [sighs] “After this, I was terrified to sleep in my room and began sleeping in the living room. I would stay up all night until the sun rose began– until the sun rose began–“ No, “–until the sun began to rise and then would fall asleep on the couch. This went on all summer, and when my oldest brother went to college, my mom moved me into his room, hoping that it would help. It did somewhat, but I still needed melatonin to go to sleep every single night.” 

Em: Oof. 

Taylar: “I was about 15 when all this began.” 

Em: And was– Then the brother wasn’t having any of this. I guess it was attached to her, and she was the one who was playing with the board. 

Taylar: From the Ouija board. 

Em: But imagine being– I, I would at least team up with my brother and be like, “All right, one of us has an attachment. The other one doesn’t. You have to play investigator and like do you see anything from your end? Is the door opening? Do you h– also hear licking? Like you have to– You really– You have to be the objective eyes here.” 

Taylar: And like, “Did you see the, the indent–“ 

Morgan: Indent. 

Taylar: “–on the plastic bag?” Yeah. 

Em: Yeah. 

Taylar: Like all that stuff. Eugh. 

Em: Or like “Can you, can you stay up late one night and just watch the hall and see if you experience anything?” Or anything. I, I– Whatever. 

Taylar: You– Do you guys remember that, um, app called SleepBot? And it would record like anytime– 

Em: Mm-hmm. 

Taylar: –it heard a sound in the middle of the night? 

Em: Yeah. 

Morgan: Yeah. 

Taylar: So I had to do that in high school for like one of my health classes to like see if– like how we slept at night, if we talked in our sleep. 

Em: Mm-hmm. 

Taylar: And I’m a very active– Especially when I was younger. The older I get, it kind of like little by little goes away. But I– The physicality of it. But like I used to sleepwalk and talk and like move all night– 

Em: Oh, wow. 

Taylar: –like sit up and like clap and do all the things. Now I, I sometimes will sleep talk, but, um– and sometimes I’ll sleepwalk, but it’s very, very rare. For the most part, it’s all just like very active dreams that I’m having, and I roll around a lot. 

Em: Mm-hmm. 

Taylar: But, um, when I was younger and I had this SleepBot, it was me talking in my sleep, and I was saying like [low, raspy voice] “I wanna–“ It was talking like– You know when you talk like gutturally like when you’re sleeping? Like that’s what it sounded like, and I didn’t know it was me because it didn’t sound like me. 

Morgan: [laughs] 

Taylar: So I was screaming in the middle of the night when I listened to it. 

Em: [laughs] 

Taylar: My mom came running up the stairs, and she was like, “Taylar, that’s you, bitch. That’s what you sound like when you talk in your sleep.” Uh, so I just could, could only imagine what that lick would sound like on SleepBot. [sighs] Anyways– 

Em: Yeah, a [makes a slow and wet licking sound]. 

Taylar: Ew. [laughs] 

Em: Something disgusting. 

Morgan: Nope. [makes a slow and wet licking sound]. 

Em: Something disgusting. [laughs] 

Taylar: So this next section is called– 

Morgan: We’re giving her poor PTSD. 

Em: Yeah. [laughs] 

Taylar: I know. Lynnie’s like, “Jesus Christ, guys!” 

Morgan: We’re like [makes a slow and wet licking sound]. 

Em: Lynnie has fast forwarded, tu– burnt the phone. Yeah. 

Taylar: [laughs] Yes. 

Em: Although, I would say– Back to the, the wondering if I’d ever– Like if on night three you’re getting licked in the ear, what’s next? Like what’s– 

Taylar: What? 

Em: What do you assume day four is gonna be? Like you’re wearing ear muffs. I’d have a whole parka on. 

Taylar: Mm-hmm. 

Em: I’d zip my face up. [mimes zipping a coat up past their neck all the way up to the top of their head.] 

Taylar: Yes. [laughs] 

Em: Like I’d be like, “Nobody’s touching me.” 

Morgan: Yeah. 

Taylar: “Nobody’s touching me.” 

Em: Oh my god. 

Taylar: I’m gonna get one of those really expensive like camping sleeping bags that like you turn into a cocoon– 

Em: Yeah. 

Taylar: –and only has your head out. Like j– That way– But then am I trapped? Like am, am I in–? 

Em: Mm. 

Morgan: I would have to lay face down. 

Taylar: Yeah. [laughs] 

Em: Yeah, the, the horror movie is that he then a– 

Morgan: With like the tiny– With like a, a straw out of my nose or something. 

Taylar: Going through your nose. [laughs] 

Em: The worst part would be like if the new horror is that he appears inside your jacket and like is in there with you. 

Taylar: Oh my god. 

Em: You know what I’m saying? 

Morgan: Ooh, yeah. 

Em: But– 

Taylar: Licks your ear inside the jacket. 

Em: But if you see– if you could see an imprint on the ground that implies you can do the flour on the ground Santa boots technique. 

Taylar: Yes. 

Em: You know? 

Taylar: Yes. 

Em: Like leave flour i– on a trail and see if like you see where he’s walking from. 

Taylar: See If anything happens. That’s a good idea. 

Em: Hm. 

Taylar: Lynnie. 

Em: Hm. 

Taylar: So this next– 

Em: [laughs] Lynnie, you interested in this? 

Taylar: [laughs] The next section is called Enter Church. “My sophomore year, we got a new assistant volleyball coach. I didn’t know who he was or anything about him. We were on our way to a tournament one morning when I heard him talking to a few of my teammates about sleep paralysis. I wasn’t involved in this conversation, but I overheard what he was describing, shot out of my seat, and said, ‘I have that!’” 

Em: Mm. 

Taylar: “He listened to my experience and told me that there were some people at his church that could help me. So I went.” Sorry, Lynnie. From my personal trauma, I’m a little scared. 

Em: [laughs] Yeah. 

Taylar: [chuckles] I’m a little scared. “The following Sunday, I met with some people at his church who also struggled with sleep paralysis–” Love this church. “–prayed over me, and gave me a prayer to pray over my house and each room in it.” So they’re essentially teaching you how to cleanse it, um, in like– in whatever, you know, denomination or, uh, religion this is. 

Em: Mm-hmm. 

Taylar: “They told me that I had what was called ‘The Gift of Discernment’–“ Yes. “–which is one–“ And if you don’t know what the Gift of Discernment is, it’s kind of like what, in Christianity specifically, is like kind of like your gut instinct. 

Em: Mm-hmm. 

Taylar: Like y– when you get like a spiritual message, like a Gift is like saying that, “Hey, like I know that something’s off about this.” Just trusting your gut essentially. “–which is one of the gifts of the Holy Spirit and why I was more in tune with spiritual things happening around me. They also taught me about how some things ‘open doors’ for demonic activity, like demonic movies.” Or, uh, the fucking Ouija board, friend. 

Morgan: The Ouija board. 

Taylar: Yeah, I would say not my– [laughs] 

Morgan: Eighth grade slumber party. 

Taylar: Yeah. “I, I cut all that shit out, and I said a prayer from room to room, stopped watching scary movies (and still don’t). And it worked. I haven’t had sleep paralysis anymore.” Well, congratulations, Lynnie. I’m so glad that happened for you. 

Em: Yeah. Oh my god. Finally. 

Taylar: Oh my god. 

Em: Okay, church. Like maybe– 

Taylar: Yes, ser– [chuckles] Pop off church. How about that? 

Em: Sec-second guessing everything I’ve ever said. Okay. 

Morgan: [laughs] 

Taylar: [laughs] “Since going through this as a young team– teen, I have always been more in tune when something just ‘doesn’t feel right.’” 

Em: Mm-hmm. 

Taylar: “And this is where the story gets really freaky.” So the title of this section is called The Lead Up: Present Day. 

Em: Oof. 

Taylar: “I am now 24–“ I just have to let you guys know that I have my legs crossed, and they’re violently shaking from how sore they are, and I will never be returning to that Pilates class. 

Em: [laughs] 

Taylar: So we’re gonna keep going. [laughs] I’m never going back. 

Em: Thank you for inserting, thank you for inserting a different horror into this horror. 

Morgan: [laughs] 

Taylar: Yes. [laughs] Um, I just– I don’t know what I was thinking. I don’t work out like that. 

Em: [laughs] 

Taylar: Um, “I am now 24 years old and am with my boyfriend of three years. He recently moved into an 1800s house with his sister.” Okay. 1800s houses. Stand up me. Um, Christine, wherever Christine is. 

Morgan: Also sit down ’cause that’s terrifying. 

Em: Yeah. [laughs] I’m sat, yeah. 

Taylar: [laughs] Also say a prayer. 

Em: Yeah. [laughs] 

Taylar: Um, “The first weekend staying there, I had the house– uh, I said the house gave me a weird feeling, but I just didn’t know why. After about a month, me and my– me and his sister started noticing things around the house. I felt uneasy sleeping there, and she had things moving around her room. One night, my boyfriend had left for work early in the morning, like 2 or 3 a.m., and got– I got one of the dogs in the room, so I could try and go back to sleep. As the dog and I were laying there, I began to hear footsteps walking down the hallway to the closed door I was behind.” 

Em: Mm. 

Taylar: “I opened my eyes and was peering at the door, thinking maybe I just imagined it all. Until I looked at the dog, and her head was also up and cocked at the door–“ 

Em: I hate that. 

Taylar: “–implying that she heard it too.” 

Em: Mm-mmm. 

Taylar: “Another time, I was in the room by myself and my boyfriend was downstairs, and something jiggled the doorknob like it was trying to get in.” 

Em: [sucks breath in through their teeth] [sighs] 

Taylar: “Finally, his sister and I began telling each other all of our experiences and told my boyfriend what was happening.” Boyfriends just always are so just like, “What? This house is haunted?” [laughs] 

Em: I– I mean, just another opinion I have about men where I’m just like, “Can you please, for the love of God, believe me and also be scared? Or at least get it together?” 

Taylar: “Please?” [laughs] 

Morgan: [laughs] Yeah. 

Em: “Can you save me since ‘it’s not a big deal’? Can you fucking fix it?” 

Morgan: Can you just fucking act like you’re scared? 

Em: [laughs] 

Taylar: “Can you just like, you know, give me a little theatrics here? Because–“ 

Morgan: “Play the role?” 

Taylar: “–I’m terrified.” 

Em: “Can you at least admit that you’re just pretending you don’t notice because of how petrified you also are? I’d like to not feel alone here. Thanks so much.” 

Taylar: Exactly. Um, “While my boyfriend does believe the de– uh, in the demonic like his sister and I do, he doesn’t take it as seriously as we do. We were all downstairs, and he had had a couple–“ I know where this is going. “–he had had a couple of drinks and began provoking whatever was in the house–“ 

Em: [sucks in air through teeth] 

Morgan: Oh my gosh. And then– 

Em: Ah, men! Men! 

Taylar: Such a man thing. 

Em: [laughs] Men. 

Morgan: Em, let us tell you this story briefly. I’ll get it done in three minutes. Taylar and I were in the car with our husbands, and we were going to Helen, Georgia, for Oktoberfest. 

Em: Okay. 

Taylar: Oktoberfest. 

Morgan: And this is like through– What are those mountains called? 

Taylar: That’s, uh, Blue Ridge. 

Morgan: Through the Blue Ridge Mountains like– 

Taylar: It’s like Appalachia and Blue Ridge, yeah. 

Morgan: One lane road. It’s dark outside. They have the windows rolled down, and they start screaming– 

Em: Dude. 

Morgan: –“Skinwalker!” 

Taylar: Me and Morgan are in the front seats. I’m driving. Of course, we have– 

Morgan: We’re like, “What–” 

Em: Oh, you’re driving? It’s even worse. I would have just stopped the car then. 

Morgan: “–is wrong with you?” 

Em: I’d’ve just stopped the car and been like, “Okay, so we’re going home.” 

Taylar: No, and we did. We, we literally threatened them like you do like your kids. 

Morgan: [chuckles] We stopped the car and be like, “Okay. Actually, this is funny? Then get out.” 

Em: Yeah. 

Taylar: “Then get up and walk the rest of the way. How about that?” 

Morgan: “You called them.” 

Taylar: “You, You could take the–” And then me and Morgan are like, [pretending to yell] “They’re joking. They’re joking. They’re joking.” 

Morgan: It was terrifying. 

Em: [laughs] “We don’t claim this. We wash our hands of this. Goodbye.” Yeah. Oh my god. Oh man. No, I couldn’t tolerate that. I’d be like, “I’m check– I’ve checked the fuck out. We don’t speak until we’re at the hotel.” 

Taylar: “I’m done. And you’re pulled over, and you’re walking the rest of the way.” Um– [laughs] 

Em: If anything happens, I’d be like, “If the car breaks down at all, you have volunteered to get out by yourself. I’m never helping. Just so you know.” 

Taylar: Yeah. “No, I’m not, I’m not getting out.” 

Morgan: Yeah. 

Taylar: “I’m not getting out.” Um– 

Morgan: “Matter of fact, I’ll hang blankets on the windows.” 

Em: Yeah. [laughs] 

Taylar: [laughs] 

Morgan: “And so I don’t even know what’s going on out there. And I’m not gonna see it.” 

Taylar: I’m gonna put up those like baby screens that you do so they, they can’t see. 

Em: [laughs] 

Morgan: Yep. 

Taylar: I’m gonna like roll it up on the thing. [laughs] Um, “We were all downstairs, and he had had a couple of drinks. He starts provoking whatever was in the house, saying things like, ‘If something is really here, then just show yourself. I’m not really scared of you.’” That’s Morgan, actually. Morgan– “Show yourself!” 

Em: [laughs] I feel like Morgan could just be like this the whole time. [puts a hand into a fist as if ready to fight] Like, “Come on.” 

Taylar: “Come on.” 

Em: “Just throw up a punch.” 

Taylar: “Bring it at me.” 

Morgan: “Show yourself!” 

Taylar: “Show yourself. I dare you.” “At that moment, the drum in the other room let off one soft bang, and then his phone began to play music in his pocket. He wrote it off as a coincidence, but his sister and I did not.” Because it wasn’t. It was not a coincidence. 

Morgan: I’d love to know the song, just out of curiosity. 

Em: Me too. 

Taylar: Oh my god. What if it’s [singing “Tiptoe Through the Tulips”] ♪ Tiptoe– ♪♪ [continues to hum the song] 

Morgan: [joins in humming “Tiptoe Through the Tulips”] 

Em: [laughs] Just, just faint ukulele strums to let you know it’s coming. 

Taylar: [laughs] Yeah, you need that. 

Em: Oh man, I really– 

Taylar: Now, this section– 

Em: I really have full-blown, full-blown chills. ’Cause the, the second your phone starts playing music, just– I mean, it’s too late. It’s in, it’s in the system. It’s in the main frame. 

Morgan: Yep. 

Taylar: It’s happening now. Like a-and the, the soft drum set? Like who the fuck dru– touched my drum set like in the next room over? 

Morgan: [laughs] 

Em: Yeah. 

Taylar: It’s like– And then you can’t even be mad about the drum set because all of a sudden, boom. 

Em: What I would– 

Taylar: Like it’s in your pocket. 

Em: What I would like to know that I feel like I’m not gonna hear is what was his first response moments later? What did he say? Did he go, “Oh, shit. That was kind of creepy?” 

Taylar: No. I bet he was just like, “Oh, no. No, no, that was me.” [continues mumbling in denial] Like ’cause– 

Morgan: [chuckles] “I did that on purpose.” 

Em: Yeah. [laughs] 

Taylar: –he doesn’t seem bothered by it at all. Like at all. 

Em: Wild. Wild. 

Taylar: Um, okay. This section is titled The Most Fucked Up Shit I’ve Ever Witnessed: Present Day. “A couple of weeks go by. Nothing crazy really happens until I was staying the night with my boyfriend. He was laying on his back and said three separate lines that sounded like a language I hadn’t heard before.” 

Em: Mm? 

Taylar: “I thought it sounded like Latin.” 

Morgan: Oh no. 

Em: Hate. 

Morgan: Oh no. 

Taylar: “He is a pretty regular sleep talker and is not always coherent, so I just tried to write it off as I– as sleep talking mumble.” 

Em: Mm-mmm. 

Taylar: “Okay, besties. I know this has been a long story, but it’s about to get fucking crazy. The next week, I’m laying in bed next to my boyfriend, and he’s been asleep for about an hour by this point. He rolls over to me and starts sleep talking. However, it wasn’t like his normal sleep talk. His voice was deeper, and it was like he was, it was like he was aware of his surroundings, asking me why wasn’t I asleep yet. I–” Sorry, I thought that was about to go dark, and I’m– Oh my god. He’s j– [breathing heavily] 

Em: Yeah. 

Morgan: [deep, raspy voice] “Why aren’t you asleep?” 

Em: [laughs] 

Taylar: [deep voice] “Why aren’t you asleep yet? [laughs] Jeez. “I began to get a really weird feeling, grabbed my phone, and started recording him because something didn’t feel right. I have attached the video, so you can play it now or at the end, because I won’t be able to explain it as well.” Let’s pull it up. 

Morgan: Do I need to– 

Em: Please. 

Morgan: I’ll, I’ll send it. 

Em: Thank you. 

Taylar: Yeah. 

Morgan: Taylar, keep going. I’ll get it. 

Taylar: Okay, um– “After he said the last line of the–“ Okay, wait. We need it. We need it here. 

Em: Yeah, yeah, yeah. 

Taylar: I love your name, Lynnie, by the way. L-Y-N-N-I-E is really cute. I know it’s not your real name, but I really like it. 

Em: It’s a good fake name. 

Taylar: I do like it a lot. 

Em: It’s also– It’s– If you’re going with a name that has nothing to do with your name and you just pick that out of thin air, it’s real enough I could believe it, but it’s also fake enough that– I don’t know. You’re getting exactly what you want. It is very– It could be like in a book. You know what I mean? 

Taylar: It could be. 

Em: Yeah. 

Taylar: Yes. Yes, exactly. 

Em: Lynnie. 

Taylar: Morgan, play it and see if we can hear it through your mic ’cause yours is– 

[audio of the video plays as Morgan holds her phone up to her microphone] 

Man: [deep voice] –sleep? 

[shuffling sounds as Lynnie adjusts her phone while recording.] 

[Morgan pauses the video.] 

Morgan: Actually, no, I can’t. Guys, I can’t hear anything ’cause I have noise cancellation on. 

Taylar: [laughs] 

Em: We fucking heard– [laughs] 

Morgan: Was it crazy? 

Em: How– 

Morgan: Can someone else play it? 

Taylar: Yes, I’ll play it. 

Em: The fact that you’re not reacting is like the most crazy part of this. 

Taylar: Wait. [chuckles] Yeah, we could– Hold on. This is stuck to my phone. [holds up her phone on a phone stand which falls off after a moment] Okay, here we go. I’m scared. 

[audio of the video plays as Taylar holds her phone up to her microphone] 

Man: [in a deep, rumbling voice that sounds groggy and slurred with sleep] Why do you [unintelligible] sleep? 

Lynnie: ’Cause– 

Man: You’re so wide awake. 

Lynnie: ’Cause I’m not tired yet. 

Man: I don’t understand. 

Taylar: Vecna? 

Em: [chuckles, muffled by their shirt which they’re holding up to cover their mouth and nose] 

Man: You’re pissing me off. 

Lynnie: I’m not doing anything. 

Taylar: You’re pissing me off. 

Man: I don’t [unintelligible]. 

Lynnie: I’m not sleepy yet, bub. 

[Taylar, Em, and Morgan laugh nervously, muffling their laughs as the video continues with the only audible sound being the man’s breathing, heavy with sleep.] 

[Taylar pauses the video.] 

Taylar: I’m sorry. I– [laughs] 

Em: [laughs, gasping for air] I’m– I– I– 

Morgan: I’m laughing ’cause that is terrifying. 

Em: [laughs, gasping for air] I fucking– I beg to differ. 

Taylar: We’re not even halfway through it, guys. We’re not even halfway through it. 

Em: That’s– 

Taylar: We have– We’ve got 30 seconds left. 

Em: Okay. Wait, ba– but to clarify, we– It was, it was, “Why aren’t you sleeping yet? You’re pissing me off. Go to sleep”? 

Taylar: “You’re pissing me off.” And then something else. Hold on. Let me– I want to back it up and hear what that last part was. 

Em: I’m really trying to keep it together. I promise I’m not trying to huff and puff through this, but that’s the scariest thing I’ve ever fucking heard in my life. 

Lynnie: I’m not sleepy yet, bub. 

[Taylar skips through the video, trying to find the right spot.] 

Lynnie: –yet, bub. 

[Taylar skips through the video again.] 

Lynnie: –thing. 

Man: I don’t understand. 

[Taylar pauses the video.] 

Taylar: “I, I don’t– I don’t like you sta– stand” or something? 

Morgan: Or is it, “Are, are–“ 

Taylar: “I don’t, I don’t understand.” 

Morgan: “I don’t understand.” Or, “Why aren’t you scared?” 

Taylar: It says, “Why are you not asleep yet? You’re pissing me off. I don’t understand.” I think it’s, “I don’t understand.” And then she says– 

Morgan: I kind of hear, “Why aren’t you scared?” 

Taylar: Okay, okay, okay. Here we go. 

[Taylar plays the video.] 

Lynnie: I’m not sleepy yet, bub. 

Man: [breathes heavily for 15 seconds] 

Taylar: [makes a wet licking sound] [laughs quietly] 

Em: [laughs, trying to muffle it with their shirt and leaning away from their mic] 

Morgan: [laughs silently, holding her mic away] 

Man: [unintelligible] 

[Taylar pauses the video.] 

Taylar: Wait, what did he just say? 

Morgan: Why did you do that? 

Em: [laughs] Who did that? [laughs] Who did that? 

Taylar: I’m sorry. I had to. 

Morgan: [makes a wet licking sound] 

Taylar: I had to throw in a lick. [laughs] 

Em: [laughs] 

Taylar: I had to throw in the lick. Okay, hold on. Let’s– Let me turn that back up. Hold on. Here we go. 

[Taylar presses play on the video.] 

Man: [breathing heavily] [unintelligible] 

Morgan: Computer? 

[sounds of movement in the video as Lynnie moves the phone] 

Lynnie: What’d you say? 

Man: [breathing sleepily] 

[Taylar puts her phone down as the video ends.] 

Taylar: Okay. Wow, I hated that. Um– 

Em: Hey, so that was actually– I’ve never heard– 

Taylar: [laughs, breathing heavily] 

Em: I mean, that’s a actual demon voice. [chuckles] 

Morgan: That came, that came out of a movie. 

Em: That came– [chuckles] 

Taylar: Hey, so, um– No. 

Em: [laughs] 

Morgan: So that’s actually a demon. 

Em: That was actually from the bowels of hell. I mean, so– Okay, wait. You might be the expert on-site here though, Taylar, because with your sleep app and it sounded really crazy, was it that level of– Could it have been that level of guttural from– 

Taylar: S– 

Em: Like it sounded crazy to you when– on your recording when it sounded technically guttural compared to your voice– 

Morgan: I wish I could hear his normal voice. 

Em: Yeah. 

Taylar: Yes. 

Em: Do you think it could sound like a grown man just being guttural? 

Taylar: H– No, because here's the thing. It's the end of the words– I– And I don't know if you guys could hear it exactly, but the end of his words are like, like a different– Like a [makes a groaning noise], you know what I mean? Like the mouth is golf-balled. 

Em: Mm-hmm. 

Taylar: Like, you know, how like in choir where– Whereas mine was like my regular sleeping voice [speaks in a gravelly voice] but just like really– Like– 

Em: Like really vocal fry. 

Taylar: [mumbling in a gravelly voice] It, it was like, it was like– [in normal voice] Like I'm not opening my mouth, and if I, if I was sitting there beside him, it feels like he's like opening his mouth and like talking with like a lo– for the [over-enunciating vowel sounds] “ow-ow”. 

Morgan: [in a low, gravelly voice] “Why are you asleep yet?” 

Taylar: Yes. 

Em: I– 

Taylar: And that's like not a sleep talk. 

Morgan: I have– 

Taylar: A sleep talk is mumble. 

Morgan: If that isn't proof of a demonic possession, then I don't know what is. Because what is that? 

Em: [sighs] 

Taylar: And you heard it here first, folks. 

Em: Wow. I– That– I fully– I've actually never had chills quite like that. That was– That– I didn't know how to fucking act right. I– 

Morgan: The way we were also– So yeah, the way we all laughed ’cause we were like, “W-What?" 

Em: [laughs] 

Taylar: [laughs] We hated it. 

Em: [laughs] That was– 

Morgan: Like we had no other reaction. 

Taylar: [laughs] I can’t– 

Em: The– Morgan, when you were first playing it and you couldn't hear it, like Taylar and me– Like I've never– Like our eyes were like, “Holy shit.” [laughs] 

Taylar: [laughs, mimicking her scared expression from earlier with wide, staring eyes] 

Morgan: I’m like, "Wait, I heard nothing. Hold on." [laughs] 

Em: [laughs] 

Taylar: [laughs] Morgan’s like, “What?” 

Morgan: “Was it crazy?” 

Taylar: “What’d he say?” [laughs] 

Morgan: “Was that scary, guys?” [laughs] 

Em: And you were like, "Can you hear it?" And we’re like, "Yeah.” Um– [laughs] 

Taylar: “Yeah, bitch. We hear it." Um, okay. So “after he said the last line in the video, I got up, went downstairs, and played the video for his sister. She ran upstairs and immediately began trying to wake him up.” 

Em: Yeah. 

Taylar: “He is a deep sleeper, so it took us a couple of minutes. We woke him up, and I played the video for him. He agreed that it was weird. We all stayed up for another hour, praying over the house, praying over him and ourselves. This is a good spot to insert here that my boyfriend is the only one in the house who is not baptized.” 

Em: [gasps] 

Taylar: “I kept–“ 

Em: You know, sometimes I think about getting baptized just to fucking avoid some stuff. 

Taylar: Just as like a, you know– just like a protection thing, you know. 

Morgan: Mm-hmm, precautionary. 

Em: Yeah, just– Yeah, I agree. 

Taylar: You know, Em, technically anyone can baptize you. So you could have– 

Em: Hey, what are you– 

Taylar: –Allison just drown you for a second. [chuckles] 

Em: I was gonna say, can you like right now? [laughs] That'd be sick. 

Taylar: Yeah. Here, I'll come water– waterboard you actually. 

Morgan: [laughs] Actually, I feel like, I feel like we all need it. 

Taylar: Yeah. In fact– 

Em: I would love to do just like, like a, like a company retreat where we just all go get baptized just in case– 

Taylar: [laughs] 

Em: –just in case. 

Morgan: Just a little cleansing. 

Taylar: Just a cleansing ceremony for us here. Um, and then when you come up, we do like 13 other versions of baptism– 

Em: Exactly. 

Taylar: –so we just cover everything. 

Morgan: We’ll be– 

Em: 100%. 

Morgan: We'll be the topic on someone's Reddit thread if we're like in the mountains. They're like, “Came across this really weird cult that was, uh–“ 

Taylar: “Cult.” [laughs] 

Morgan: “–drowning themselves in the, uh, creek bed.” 

Em: [laughs] 

Taylar: “They would drown each other, and then they would come up. And they had like sage, and then they were doing like symbols.” 

Morgan: “There was a lot of cameras.” 

Em: I could see all of us– 

Taylar: “It was crazy.” 

Em: I could see all of us having a different like PowerPoint presentation on like a different religion and how we're going to protect ourselves from their demons. 

Taylar: And this is how we will baptize each other within that religion. 

Em: Yeah. [laughs] 

Taylar: Yes, of course. So, um, “He's the only one who is not baptized. I kept praying over the house while also reaching out to that old friend from my church. He provided me with some relief and told me to keep praying over the house and don't let whatever was happening scare me because that's the demonic– that's what the demonic does. It is trying to, um, instill fear. I stopped being afraid and relied on Jesus to protect us.” This section is called [speaking quickly] Almost Done. [laughs] 

Em: Okay, no worries. 

Taylar: “I was at his house one night, and we were staying up late pr– uh, downstairs and talking in the kitchen. It was during this conversation that I once again began to feel weird. I noticed–“ That, that's the Discernment in you, bestie. Um, “I noticed my boyfriend's eyes began to change into a more menacing look–“ 

Em: Oh my god. 

Taylar: “–and he started to ask me, ‘Are you afraid of this house?’” 

Em: [gasps] 

Taylar: You need to get rid of him actually. 

Em: [laughs] “I’m afraid–“ 

Taylar: “And when–“ 

Em: “–of every living creature in this house, including you.” 

Taylar: "Got to go.” Um, sorry. Um, “And when I said, ‘No, this house is covered and protected by Jesus,’ he said, ‘I like this house. I'm not leaving. This is my house.’ At this point, I knew I wasn't talking to my boyfriend anymore.” 

Morgan: Actually, you don't pay utilities so. 

Em: [laughs] 

Taylar: Actually, you don't fucking pay the rent, so you can truly suck my dick on that point and get out of here. 

Morgan: Cut a fucking check and then maybe. [laughs] 

Em: [laughs, wheezing] 

Taylar: And then. [laughs] She’s like– Absolutely trolling the demon is like so classic. Like “That's so fucking funny that you said that, in fact, so.” [laughs] Okay, I'm sorry. Um, “I looked in his eyes and said, ‘Let's pray right now.’ I forced him to give his– me his hands and began to pray things along the lines of ‘Whatever is here, if you are not of Jesus and bow to Jesus, you are not welcome. Only spirits of the Lord and of Heaven are allowed in this house, and things that are not have no authority here. And I demand you to leave in the name of Jesus Christ.’” I'm getting chills. “I–“ 

Morgan: Amen. I say that too actually right now. 

Taylar: Amen. Amen. 

Em: Me too, actually. Um– 

Taylar: Amen. 

Morgan: [laughs] 

Taylar: [laughs] Um, we'll take that prayer here as well. Thank you. I'll take any prayers I can get. Okay. 

Em: Yes, please. 

Taylar: “I finished praying and looked up at my boyfriend. He looked woozy and said, ‘I don't feel too good,’ and then collapsed onto the floor and passed out. I went over to him, and I placed his head in my lap as he was whimpering and kind of moving back and forth. He then woke up and asked what happened. I had no– He had no recollection of the past ten minutes and went upstairs and went to bed where I continued to pray over him and his soul.” Okay. “And since then, there has been no issues in the house. Okay, I know this took forever to write, and if you're– uh, actually read it all, God bless you. And I do believe that whatever was in him very well could have been JoJo, especially since referring– uh, it was referring to me by name. But yeah, that's sort of how I began being stalked by JoJo for a decade, exorcised my boyfriend's house and then my boyfriend. Thanks besties!” Okay, Lynnie. Damn. 

Morgan: It was really the case of like he was attached to you; you got rid of him, came to the next– 

Em: Mm-hmm. 

Morgan: Or like he couldn't get to you into a– like a more possessive level, so he just jumped right where he could. 

Taylar: Mm-hmm. 

Em: Yep. 

Taylar: And that house is so old the energy in it would like allow for a demonic presence to take over. 

Morgan: It to linger. 

Taylar: Yeah. 

Em: [sighs] Man. Oh my god. 

Morgan: That is sickening. 

Em: And, you know, for the rest of your life, you get to hold that over your boyfriend that you saved him from a demon. 

Taylar: “I exorcised you, so.” 

Morgan: Yeah, actually. 

Taylar: “So.” [shrugs] 

Em: It’s like, “So clean the gutters. I don't know what to fucking tell you.” 

Taylar: [laughs] So– 

Morgan: “Hey, you actually owe me money because you had two people with you, so.” 

Taylar: [laughs] 

Em: Yeah, splitting the rent. 

Morgan: “Double the rent.” 

Em: Yeah. 

Morgan: “Three ways. And you're in ch–“ No, I'm just kidding. 

Taylar: “You're taking two.” 

Morgan: But that is crazy. 

Taylar: That is crazy, Lynnie. Um, I hated every single second of it. Um– 

Em: Truly. 

Taylar: –but wow. 

Morgan: Me too. 

Taylar: Crazy, crazy story. [sighs] Sorry, that– 

Morgan: Thank you for submitting that and sharing that. 

Taylar: Yeah, Lynnie. Love you. 

Morgan: That’s probably hard to write out, actually. 

Taylar: Hope you're okay. 

Em: Yeah. 

Taylar: You s-sound okay, but um. You wrote us a book, and I think you should submit that to The Conjuring franchise. They might buy it off of you. 

Em: Absolutely. Absolutely. 

Taylar: Absolutely. 

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Story 4 – Ghost Walked Through Me and an Instinct to Run 

Em: Um, hm, well in a devas– 

Taylar: Goddamn. [laughs] 

Em: –in a devastating blow, we’ve got more to read. Um, so– [laughs] 

Taylar: [laughs] 

Em: –here is Marigold, who uses they/them pronouns. Thank you for normalizing pronouns. Uh, love a theyby. And the title is “Ghost Walked Through Me and an Instinct to Run.” 

Taylar: Let’s go. 

Em: Marigold says, “Hi guys. I’ve been listening for a while, and I’m a huge fan. My name is Marigold. My pronouns are they/them, and I– you are totally free to use them.” Oh, sick. Thanks. 

Morgan: [chuckles] 

Taylar: Thanks. [chuckles] 

Em: Uh, “This is a dream come true, so thank you if you’re even getting to me. I’m not on Patreon, so pretty– so please, pretty please for my sanity, put this on the main podcast.” [quietly and drawn out] Well… We– 

Taylar: Surprise! It’s on And That’s Why We Drink! [laughs] 

Em: [laughs] Okay. 

Morgan: Surprise! 

Em: Uh– Oh, “Anyways, this takes place in my hundred-year-old childhood home. I was 9 to 12 when this happened. Uh, and as a child, I never believed in ghosts, but even after the start of the, let’s say, activity, I started to believe.” Very Zak Bagans. 

Taylar: It is. 

Em: [in low voice] “I didn’t believe in ghosts ’til I came face-to-face with one.” 

Morgan: [laughs] 

Taylar: [laughs] 

Em: Um, “So we had a closet full of children’s toys.” Problem number one. 

Taylar: Yep. [chuckles] 

Em: "And–" 

Morgan: [chuckles] 

Taylar: Red flag. 

Em: [chuckles] “And one made a song like ‘The ABCs’ or something. I can’t remember exactly.” 

Morgan: Playing music? Problem number two. 

Em: Like I wouldn’t– 

Taylar: There’s– Let me guess there’s a rocking chair nearby. [sighs] 

Em: I don’t even let my dog have squeaky toys. Like I don’t– 

Taylar: [laughs] 

Em: If you make a sound, you’re outta here. Um– 

Taylar: You’re outta here. 

Em: “In the middle of the night, I was trying to go to sleep, and I heard the song loudly from downstairs.” Horrific. “My mom came in and said it was probably one of the toys in the closet, and she checked, and yep, she turned it off. But the very next night, the same thing happened. Uh, this went on for six to eight nights until my dad put it in the garage.” This thing’s a fucking Furby. 

Taylar: Oh my god. [chuckles] 

Morgan: [laughs] 

Em: That’s all it is. I, I don’t– I– Maybe, uh– 

Taylar: It took six to eight nights for dad to put that– put it the hell away? 

Em: I’m telling you, with my Furby, I– It, it put my– gave my dad five minutes. 

Taylar: [laughs] 

Em: He was like, “This thing has to fucking go.” 

Taylar: “It’s gotta go.” [chuckles] 

Em: Um, were you of the Furby era? Or do you need me to tell you how h-horrible it was? 

Morgan: I– 

Taylar: I was of the Furby era. I never had one. 

Em: Okay. 

Morgan: I never had one either. So– But my siblings did. 

Taylar: My mom didn’t fuck with that shit. 

Em: It was um, it was a, it was a horrifying experience. The Furby wouldn’t shut the fuck up. My dad beat it with a baseball bat and put it in the freezer– 

Taylar: [laughs] 

Em: –and you would still hear it singing in the middle of the night. And it’d go [singing in a nasal voice] ♪ Hee-ha-hee-ha ♪♪ and it’s horrific. 

Taylar: [laughs] 

Em: Horrific. Um– 

Morgan: It’s like today’s– 

Taylar: [laughs] He beat it with a baseball bat? 

Morgan: –today’s Labubus if they spoke. 

Em: [laughs] Yeah. 

Taylar: Oh my god. 

Em: But truly, there were stories across the map of dads trying to break these things, and they wouldn’t shut the fuck up. And so then it turned into this whole lore of like, “Oh, they’re demonic, and there’s– The Furby language they’re speaking is actually Latin.” And the Furbies were, um, built to be able to– If you put a Furby next to another Furby, they would talk to each other, so then it sounded like– 

Taylar: Yes. 

Em: –they were like doing a ritual. It was horrifying. Horrifying. 

Morgan: [laughs] 

Taylar: It’s actually just me– It’s just the three of us sitting there, [high-pitched gibberish] “Me-me-me-me-me-me-me.” 

Em: [laughs] 

Taylar: Just talking. 

Morgan: [high-pitched gibberish] “Ya, boo-boo.” [laughs] 

Taylar: [laughs] 

Em: [laughs] It was actually just like the first signs of a podcast. Um– 

Taylar: Yeah. [laughs] 

Em: So okay. “This went on for six to eight nights until my dad put it in the garage. But when the activity continued after powering it off, we donated it. The–“ 

Taylar: Great. That’s very nice. [chuckles] 

Em: “The next prominent time was a year or two later, and my mom experienced this one, not me, by the way. So my mom has a bedside little digital clock, and my mom went to bed as usual and was reading when the radio started playing super loudly on the clock.” Like the– on the nightstand next to her. Oh my god. 

Taylar: Gotcha. 

Em: “She turned it off. But key detail, we haven’t used the clock radio in over ten years.” 

Morgan: Ooh. 

Em: “So my mom turns this thing off.” 

Taylar: [chuckles nervously] 

Em: It’s– was just playing for the first time in a decade. “This happened once more a few minutes later, and then somehow (crazy brave), she went to bed.” 

Morgan: Oh. 

Taylar: Yeah, mom’s crazy for that. [chuckles] 

Em: I literally– 

Morgan: My mom would do the same thing. 

Em: Moms and boyfriends are the same. I’m like, “How do you just rest your eyes now?” 

Taylar: [chuckles] “Are you okay?” Like I just don’t know what we’re gonna be like. Like what– 

Em: [laughs] 

Taylar: Like what– As parents, like what’s gonna happen? Because like I’m gonna be like, “Oh my god, we have to move.” 

Em: [laughs] 

Taylar: “Like we, we really gotta go.” 

Morgan: “Sell the house.” 

Taylar: “We gotta move.” 

Em: I think it’s, I think it’s for the best that I, I don’t want kids because I’m gonna be the reason the kid has to go to therapy– 

Taylar: [laughs] 

Em: –because of the assumed demons that were never there. Um– 

Taylar: That were never actually there. Like s– your– If my kid comes to me and is like, “Hey, something’s under my bed.” I’m like, [whispering] “Oh my fucking god.” 

Morgan: Well, now, guys, we can just put in noise-cancelling headphones. [laughs] 

Em: [laughs] 

Taylar: [laughs] Yeah. 

Morgan: Just– You don’t hear anything. 

Em: Well, “She–“ So she goes to bed after the radio that never turns on turned on twice. “She woke up at like 3:15 that night when the clock’s numbers just started going crazy and doing different numbers, switching super fast–” 

Taylar: [groans] 

Em: So now the clock is– 

Taylar: Reacting. 

Em: –like out of a horror movie. “–and then started doing numbers that do not exist and then no numbers at all.” 

Morgan: Numbers that don’t exist? Like symbols? 

Em: I, I guess so. 

Taylar: I’m gonna need he– 

Em: I– 

Taylar: I’m gonna need help. 

Em: [chuckles] 

Morgan: Or like, or like 12– 

Em: I don’t even know what to imagine if they don’t exist. 

Morgan: Or like 3:63, you know? 

Em: Oh, yeah, like maybe it’s military time. Ah! 

Morgan: 3:96. 

Em: Um, I don’t know. 

Taylar: Oh no. I can’t tell what that means. Roman numerals. Oh no, oh no! 

Em: [laughs] 

Morgan: No, no, no. Like 3– [laughs] Like 3:96. Like 96 minutes. 

Em: Yeah, yeah. 

Morgan: You know what I mean? 

Taylar: If my digital clock started showing me Roman numerals, I’d be like, “I have to check out.” ’Cause I don’t even know– I don’t– 

Em: [laughs] 

Taylar: V– What? Like I don’t know. 

Morgan: I II III IIII– 

Taylar: IIII. 

Morgan: –VI VII. 

Em: [holding up two fingers to make a “V”] [laughs] Five. Five. It’s a five. 

Taylar: Wait, do you guys know– Wait [laughs] do you guys know where it’s like, it’s like [holding up two fingers to make a “V”] “No, I, I want two,” and it’s like, “No, like two minutes. You have to–“ You know that trend on TikTok– 

Em: Yeah. 

Taylar: –where it’s like “My, my two min– You have two minutes to go o–” 

Morgan: And they’re like– [holding up two fingers to make a “V” and posing, pursing her lips] 

Taylar: And they’re like– [holding up two fingers to make a “V”, making the same pose as Morgan] 

Em: [laughs] 

Taylar: That’s me with the, with the Roman numeral V. 

Morgan: Like, “No, two minutes.” 

Em: [laughs] “High five, girl.” [holding up two fingers to make a “V”] 

Taylar: [laughs] Yeah. 

Em: Um, so– Uh, yeah. So apparently, the numbers then go f– to numbers that don’t exist. I can’t even begin to fathom what that means. 

Taylar: No. 

Em: “–and then no numbers at all. And then just green since the numbers were always green.” Like, so now it’s a straight line as if it just flattened itself out. 

Taylar: Great. 

Em: Um, so the numbers– They, they start showing numbers that do not exist, which I don’t even know what that means. And then it goes to no numbers at all, and then it goes straight to just a flat green line as if it just, it just stops. It just halts itself immediately. Horrifying. “I heard the story, so I went up to the room, and I clicked the radio button, and– especially since I was doing homework on their bed and wanted to have a little music while doing it since I didn’t bring my phone up. Um, I kept clicking it, but the radio would not turn on like it should have.” So now it’s just not working at all. 

Taylar: Right. 

Em: “Well, that’s the end of my little mini story. But a few days later, I was home alone after getting off the bus, and my parents usually got home from work around 5– 5:30, and now it’s 6:00. I went into the long hallway on the first floor, and I was there just kind of walking around. And I only had a light on in the kitchen, which was connected to the very start of that long hallway. But then I felt something cold wash over me, and I froze like a deer in the road. A hard– A pure hard instinct to run as fast as I could toward the light happens, and once I was in the kitchen, I was super shook up, just unhappy. And it was 5:45, which was a little weird, but I thought maybe my dad might be in a meeting, and my mom might just be closing up at her work.” So, uh, she f– had only one light on, then she had this huge rush. Her parents are still not home when they should be. “One thing to know is the sun sets around like 5:20 in the winter here, so it was already dark out, and I was getting over it. Um, like, [chuckles] ‘Oh man, that must have been our ghost.’” Thinking there must be a ghost there. “He seems friendly enough, playing with children’s toys and making noise and– I was still scared of him though. But then I thought I heard footsteps and talking on, on the other side of the house. I was really scared, and I don’t know why, but unlike most 11-year-olds just going and hiding, I picked up a humongous kitchen knife. And–“ 

Morgan: Are you Anonymous Cat? 

Em: [laughs] What? 

Taylar: Who is that? 

Morgan: Who is that? 

Em: I– 

Taylar: Who is that? 

Em: [laughs] “I picked up a humongous kitchen knife and started just quietly scouring the home–“ 

Morgan: [laughs] 

Em: “–and then singing some sort of pop music as loud as I could.” As like a distraction, I guess. “Then once I got to the windows in the front of the house, I saw a bunch of joggers in a group wearing glowing vests and shouting. Recognizing the voice, I calmed down, and my mom walked in pretty soon. Now that I think about it, back to the first story, I should have checked the back–“ 

Morgan: Em, I’m sorry. Are you highlighting the words? I’m geeking out over here. 

Em: [chuckles] No. 

Taylar: Who the hell is doing that? 

Morgan: Is it Eva? 

Em: I don’t know what’s going on. 

Taylar: Do you not see it on your end, Em? 

Em: [chuckles] 

Morgan: On the Google Docs, it’s like highlighting every word in purple. 

Taylar: Someone’s highlighting– 

Morgan: It’s Eva. 

Em: It’s Eva. 

Morgan: Guys, who the fuck is it? 

Taylar: Wait, Morgan. [picks up her phone and starts filming her computer screen] 

Em: Ooh. [laughs] What’s h– 

Taylar: Someone is in here. 

Morgan: No one’s highlighting anything right now. 

Taylar: It’s exactly what you’re reading. 

Em: I– [holds their hands up in the air] 

Taylar: Look. Oh, it’s happening right now. Hold on. 

Morgan: Wait, everyone put your hands up right now. [holds her hands up in the air] 

Em: Wait, it was me. It was me. It was me. It was me. 

Taylar: Oh! 

Em: It was me. Sorry. 

Taylar: [holds her phone up to the camera, showing a Google Doc with a paragraph highlighted in purple] 

Morgan: [laughs] 

Em: Sorry, everybody. Okay. It was me. It was me. Everyone chill the fuck out. Sorry. 

Taylar: Wait– [laughs] 

Morgan: [laughs] 

Taylar: I was like– 

Morgan: I am like, “It’s here. Get the water.” 

Taylar: [laughs] 

Em: It was me. I’m so sorry. I– 

Taylar: We were like, “Anonymous Cat is highlighting everything in purple–“ 

Morgan: And– 

Taylar: “–and like exactly what you were reading.” 

Morgan: –you were like, “No.” 

Em: No, okay– 

Taylar: And we were like [stares at screen in mix of confusion and fear]. 

Em: I– No, I was not even– I just wasn’t even thinking about it. And then by the time you mentioned it, I had clicked away, and I was like, “No, I’m not highlighting anything.” [chuckles] 

Taylar: [laughs] 

Em: Okay. No, it was me. 

Taylar: I’m so sorry, Em. I’m so sorry. Okay. 

Morgan: [chuckles] 

Em: No. No, no, no. Okay. It was 100% me. Okay. Anyway– 

Morgan: So– 

Em: –that was pretty much the end of it anyway. I sh– That was the– The end. [laughs] The end. [laughs] Well– 

Morgan: Holy shit. I’m sorry. I thought we were just about to die. 

Taylar: Sorry. I– We– There was a lot going on within that, and I just need to break it down. So essentially, this house is very haunted. There’s a lot of things, especially with like digital, um, clocks and stuff like that, that are going on. Just like a lot of stuff going on all the time. And then [sighs] so you kind of went into a time warp, I’m, I’m getting with– 

Em: It feels like a time warp. It feels like the electronics were all bugging out. Um, and then the parents weren’t home, so during a super creepy moment, it felt like an immediate rush to have to run down the hall like something was behind you. 

Taylar: Yes. And that i– Yes. 

Em: I mean, the thing that freaks me out the most is the– The radio obviously freaks me the fuck out. The– 

Taylar: Yeah. 

Morgan: Yeah, especially like symbols, if that’s what it was. 

Em: Yeah. And especially– 

Morgan: Interpreting in that way. 

Em: And shortly after, the toys start going off by themselves. Like I don’t like that it’s playing with shit. That’s what– 

Taylar: Mm-mmm. 

Em: That’s the thing I hate the most. Everything else seems to be like feelings, which I– are absolutely valid, and I’ve had them, and they’re horrifying. But the, the proof of electronics freaking the fuck out, totally out of your control, hidden in a closet, not working for ten years, and now they’re working. No, thank you. 

Taylar: No thank– Oh, I forgot, I forgot that the, the toy in the closet. Yeah, you know, in a hundred-year-old house, let’s get rid of the toy closet. 

Em: Yeah, I think that’s fair. I think if you have– There’s certain boundaries. If your house is from the 1800s, let’s say, you just don’t get to have an attic. You know what I mean? 

Taylar: Yes, that’s– 

Morgan: You’re actually not allowed. 

Taylar: You’re not allowed to do that. 

Em: You shouldn’t have a cellar. Unless it’s completely finished, you shouldn’t have a basement. You know what I mean? 

Taylar: Yep. I hate that. 

Morgan: I agree. 

Taylar: I hate that a lot. 

Em: Or a shed out back. No, thanks. 

Taylar: No, thanks. 

Morgan: If anyone builds a new home and you have a crawl space– 

Em: Yeah. [chuckles] 

Taylar: No, you don’t. 

Morgan: –and a, and an unfinished basement, you’re not allowed to have it. 

Em: [laughs] 

Taylar: Yep. 

Morgan: You have to board it up actually. 

Story 5 – A Christmas Ghost Story 

Em: Well, the, the last two that we have are ones that Eva picked from our email, and they are both super short. So if you each wanted to take one to finish out the episode, that’d be great. 

Morgan: Perfect. 

Taylar: We got it, Em. 

Em: ‘kay. Perf. 

Morgan: Why can’t I get them to open? 

Taylar: I just got ‘em. Do you need me to– 

Morgan: Oh, it’s like a picture. Okay. Okay. 

Em: Mm-hmm. 

Taylar: Yeah. 

Morgan: Okay, okay, okay. All righty. Am I up? 

Em: Yes. 

Taylar: Yep. 

Morgan: Okay. So this is called “A Christmas Ghost Story,” and this is from Abra, using she/her pronouns. “I’m not–“ I love this submission form that you guys have going on, by the way. 

Taylar: This is really nice. 

Em: Oh, it’s on our website, andthatswhywedrink.com, and, uh, Eva is the one who made this. I think? Eva? Yes? I think Eva is the one that made this. And it– 

Morgan: Our website submissions look crazy. 

Taylar: Yeah. 

Em: It’s just a nice little submission form. It’s very cutie. 

Morgan: Yeah. 

Taylar: I love that. 

Morgan: Love. “I’m not sure how else to start this besides saying with no doubt in any of our minds, my mother’s house is haunted as fuck, like poltergeist shit.” 

Em: Mm. 

Morgan: “And they’ve always loved me.” I’m assuming the ghost. 

Em: [laughs] 

Morgan: And your parents. 

Taylar: I’m assuming. 

Morgan: “From the first time we stepped foot into what would be my room (great), we’ve heard a little girl. But in all the years I lived there, I had never seen her until Christmas 2017. I was the first of my family to be done getting ready (a Christmas miracle, to be honest).” 

Taylar: Ye– Truly. [chuckles] 

Em: [chuckles] 

Morgan: “Si– [chuckles] Sitting alone downstairs in our living room, which displays the staircase prominently, something caught my eye. There was a little girl sitting on our motherfucking staircase.” [chuckles] 

Em: Oh. 

Morgan: “She didn’t seem to notice me at first. And as I was sitting there trying to figure out if she was real or not, she looked up at me with, in, in no exaggeration, the biggest eyes I have ever seen.” 

Taylar: [groans] Ooh. 

Morgan: “They weren’t all black (shout out BEKs), but–“ 

Em: [chuckles] 

Morgan: “–they were a special kind of dark against her pale skin and long dark hair.” 

Em: Eugh. 

Morgan: “When our eyes met, I immediately got violently ill, vomiting for the rest of the night.” 

Taylar: Holy shit! 

Em: Huh? 

Morgan: “I would get the same random violent sickness for years after this. No matter how healthy I was o– prior, but only on Christmas.” 

Taylar: Oh my god. 

Em: Mm. 

Morgan: This is like the Christmas witch. 

Taylar: Yeah, it is. 

Morgan: The child Christmas witch or something. 

Em: Yeah, it’s like Krampus’s daughter or something. 

Taylar: Yeah. [laughs] 

Morgan: Literally. “While this really sucked as I loved Christmas, it did get me out of midnight mass a few times. So sleigh.” As in reindeer sleigh. 

Em: [laughs] Love that. 

Taylar: Slay. 

Morgan: “But our story doesn’t end there. That next year, my partner at the time, Josh (he/him) came to live with us for a while. He went across the hall to our bathroom that was equally as unsettling as my bedroom.” 

Em: Mm. 

Morgan: “When he came back, he looked shook as hell. I asked, ‘What’s the matter?’ And he said, ‘I know this sounds crazy, but I swear to God, I just saw a girl in your bathroom.’” 

Em: Ew. 

Morgan: “I asked what she looked like. He said, ‘She had long dark hair, and she was really pale. But her eyes? Dude, they were massive.’” Okay, first things first. John passes our boyfriend list. 

Em: Absolutely. 

Taylar: Oh, yes. 

Em: His name is Josh though. Um– 

Morgan: Oh, Josh. Sorry. 

Taylar: [laughs] 

Morgan: I literally looked that– back at it– 

Taylar: “You know, John.” 

Morgan: –and I still read “John.” 

Em: No– 

Taylar: “Me and my good buddy, John.” 

Em: Josh is for the girls. He’s for the girls, for sure. 

Taylar: Yes. 

Morgan: For the girls, 100%. And he’s like, “Yeah, I saw that shit, and that was creepy as fuck.” Um, Abra said, “I never told him that story. Spooky Christmas to all and to all a good night.” 

Em: Mm. 

Taylar: [spooky laugh] Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. 

Em: Oh my god. Well, great. 

Morgan: That’s terrifying. Why do you ha– 

Em: And I don’t like th– 

Taylar: I hate that you throw up every Christmas, like– 

Em: Yeah. My, um– Y-you know, like December 23, 24, she’s like, [groaning] “Oh no. I don’t even wanna deal with it.” 

Taylar: “Here we go.” 

Morgan: “Here I go.” 

Em: Um, I don’t like that there’s– She said somewhere in there that the bathroom was just as spooky as the bedroom. And I’m like, “Can you–“ I– There’s nothing more horrifying than like having to drop trou in a bathroom that freaks you the fuck out. Like– 

Taylar: Right. 

Morgan: Yeah. 

Em: I, um– When Christine and Eva and I investigated the Sallie House, I, I ref– the bathroom there like freaked me out, and I made Christine stand in the bathroom with me while I went ’cause I was so– [laughs] I was like, “Something is in here.” I would like– I, I don’t know what it was. I never– 

Taylar: Me and Morgan do the same thing. 

Em: Oh, it’s so scary. 

Morgan: We, we did. We did that in LA, actually. 

Taylar: Mm-hmm. 

Em: It’s, it’s so vulnerable. I feel like a dog outside, you know, when they’re going to the bathroom, they’re like looking everywhere like terrified– 

Taylar: Yeah. [chuckles] “Holy shit.” 

Em: –that something’s gonna get them. 

Taylar: Yeah. 

Em: That’s how I felt the whole time. There’s– Ugh, a haunted bathroom really gets me. Anyway. 

Taylar: Yeah, no. 

Em: Sorry. 

Taylar: A haunted– Here’s where like I really have to draw the line is like when I– There’s been a few times. The last time it happened to me, I was in Savannah, Georgia– 

Em: Mm-hmm. 

Taylar: –and I had gone to like a really old building. Um, there was like a speakeasy underneath, and I had to go to the bathroom, and like r-right– Like a year before I went, me and Morgan had read a creepy account on the podcast about, um, one of our listeners who like got on this elevator and got lost in this like– 

Em: Oh my god. 

Taylar: –in this Savannah, Georgia like, uh, speakeasy. And like they went upstairs to go to the bathroom, and then they came out on the right floor, and no one was there, and their boyfriend was looking for them– 

Em: Ah! 

Taylar: –and their– It was crazy. So I was already on edge, but I got a little bit of liquid courage. So anyways, I had to, I had to open the hatch ’cause I drank so much and need to go pee. 

Em: [laughs] 

Taylar: So I– And I was in, guys, like I am today ’cause I stay in one, a bodysuit. 

Em: [laughs] 

Taylar: So not only am I in a haunted, tiny bathroom– 

Morgan: Gotta get naked. 

Taylar: –that’s cold– 

Em: You’re f-f– 

Taylar: –I’m getting butt-naked. 

Em: Fully, fully nude. Yeah. 

Taylar: I’m just titties out on the toilet– 

Em: [laughs] 

Taylar: –like seriously freezing my ass off, and I’m scared to death. And it was just like so, so violating the entire time. 

Em: Yeah. 

Taylar: I just was going as fast as I could, and when I came out like all my straps were all messed up. And Logan was like, “Are you okay?” Like, “What–“ 

Em: Well, also like I– 

Taylar: “What happened to you?” 

Em: Even if it’s not a ghost, if like someone wanted to kill you, the most embarrassing way would be like on a toilet with– And– 

Taylar: Yes. 

Em: I– Oh, you know, I live in California. We have to worry about earthquakes, and I’ve always thought the most embarrassing thing would be post-bodysuit on a toilet, and the earthquake hits, and you’re just splayed out nude. 

Taylar: [laughs] 

Em: And someone finds you that way. Like there– 

Morgan: No. Tragic. 

Em: Like there’s no escaping in time, you know? Um– 

Taylar: There’s none. Oh, that is so good. 

Em: Yeah. 

Taylar: Well, love that story. Hate that you throw up every day. 

Em: So sorry. 

Taylar: Love your hair, hate your guts. But, um– 

Em: [laughs] 

Taylar: [laughs] No, I’m just playing around. 

Morgan: I do feel like it was a little girl that got like sick and– 

Taylar: Yes. 

Morgan: –or died right before Christmas or something like that. 

Taylar: Yes. 

Em: Ea– Yeah, we’re just all– We’re all having to experience the pain now. Yeah. 

Morgan: Mm-hmm. 

Taylar: Yeah. 

Em: Alright. [sighs] 

Taylar: She’s like, “I want someone to know what I went through.” 

Story 6 – Where Did He Get the Gun and the Worst Person to Run into at a Hospital Kids Christmas Show 

Taylar: The last one we have is from, uh– I’m sorry. Okay, here we go. Teddy, using they/them pronouns. 

Em: Mm-hmm. 

Taylar: And the subject is “Where Did He Get the Gun and the Worst Person to Run into at a Hospital Kids Christmas Show.” 

Em: [sighs] 

Morgan: That is clickbait. That would have got me, Teddy. 

Em: [laughs] 

Taylar: Yeah, you would have got us, Teddy. 

Morgan: Immediate read. ’Cause what? I’m intrigued. 

Taylar: And we’re here. 

Em: Well, they, they already have me at the children’s hospital on Christmas. But the gun, what? 

Taylar: [chuckles] That– 

Em: [chuckles] What’s happening? 

Morgan: I’m really concerned here with the title, not gonna lie. [chuckles] 

Taylar: “Hey squad, my name is Teddy (they/them) (shout-out, Em). I’ve been–“ That’s what Teddy said, not me. Um– [laughs] 

Em: [laughs] 

Taylar: [laughs] “I’ve been–“ 

Em: “Another non-binary. You must know all of them.” Yeah, I know. I know. 

Morgan: [laughs] 

Taylar: [laughs] Could you imagine if I said that? 

Em: [laughs] “They/them, you know all about that, don’t ya?” 

Taylar: Oh god. [laughs] 

Morgan: “Shout-out, Em.” That’s funny. 

Taylar: “I’ve been–“ [laughs] I’m sorry. Let me get it together. “I’ve been a listener since the summer of 2021 when I was working at a haunted museum in rural Canada (shout-out Em again.)” 

Em: Hey! 

Morgan: [laughs] 

Taylar: “While this story is not about that lovely museum, if you’re interested, I can send it in a later– uh, I can send it later along with my summer of ghosty experiences. But the story I will be sharing this time leans towards Christine–“ and Taylar. Hey, that’s me. “–and true crime.” 

Em: [chuckles] 

Taylar: “This story takes place circa 1977 when my mom was a kid. She was raised in extremely rural Canada. I wish I could be more specific, but I don’t want to out the lore I was given.” 

Em: Sure. 

Morgan: Fair. 

Taylar: “And like many true crime cases (sadly), my great-aunt was in a relationship with an abusive asshole.” 

Em: Mm. 

Taylar: “I don’t know a lot of specifics other than this story, but it was the ‘70s in the rural land, so I can’t imagine it was great. So one day around Christmas time, this asshole comes home and sees another guy in the house with my great-aunt. Long story short, the guy pulls out a shotgun (honestly, I don’t know where he got the gun. Maybe a shed? Who knows? It was the ‘70s) and shoots the man in the house through the window into his chest.” 

Em: Mm. 

Taylar: “What this asshole would have realized if he had waited 30 more seconds was the guy in the house was my great-grandfather–“ 

Em: [gasps] 

Taylar: “–my aunt’s dad.” 

Em: Oh my god. 

Taylar: Holy shit. 

Morgan: Oh, shit. 

Taylar: “Well, [sighs] as you can imagine, shit went south. Ambulance and police were called, and my great-grandfather was rushed to the hospital, and against all odds, he lived. This–“ 

Em: Wow. 

Morgan: Amazing. 

Taylar: “–is crazy ’cause they lived over an hour away from the nearest hospital.” 

Morgan: Wow. 

Em: And he shot at essentially point-blank range, it seems. 

Morgan: Mm-hmm. 

Taylar: Through the window– 

Em: Holy shit. 

Taylar: –directly into the chest. 

Em: With a shotgun. 

Taylar: “During this time–“ A shotgun, which means it was like– 

Em: Mm. 

Morgan: Pellets. 

Taylar: –a buckshot. Yeah. 

Em: A big– Yeah. 

Morgan: Yeah. 

Taylar: Shit. “During this time, my mom (who was around seven) was quite sick and was stuck in the hospital for Christmas. And that evening, my grandma took my mom down to see the Christmas show that was being put on for the patients at the hospital.” Aw, how sweet. “And who comes up to chat with my grandma like nothing happened? Oh, the guy who shot her dad!” 

Em: [gasps] 

Morgan: Oh my god. 

Taylar: “He comes up–“ 

Em: Oh my god. 

Taylar: “–and talks to her like nothing happened, and my grandma quickly ushers my mom away.” 

Em: Yeah. 

Taylar: “From what I’ve been told, there were no charges because he was deemed mentally ill, and I’m not sure what happened to him after that. I–“ 

Em: Oh my god. 

Taylar: “I had never heard this story until I was in, uh, late high school, talking about CT scans with my mom. She told me the story of taking my great-grandfather to get a CT scan when she was in her first year of university and him showing her all the shrapnel still inside his chest from the incident.” 

Em: Oh… 

Morgan: Wow. 

Taylar: “He passed away a few years later from, what I understand, was unre– from something that was unrelated to the shooting. While that side of my family is full of crazy stories, this definitely is one of the most unbelievable.” 

Em: Mm. 

Taylar: “Thank you for reading. I am currently on my second listen through as I’ve gotten a lot of time on my hands for the first time in a while and appreciating the evolution of the pod. Thanks again.” 

Em: Aw. 

Taylar: “Good luck. And I hope that if you ever get shot in the chest with a shotgun, you also live. Cheers, Teddy.” 

Em: I also hope– 

Taylar: Teddy, thank you. 

Morgan: Thank you for those good wishes, Teddy. 

Em: Thank you. I– 

Morgan: I hope so too. 

Em: And let’s bring that energy into 2026. Um– 

Taylar: And we’ll be taking that into 2026 with us, Teddy. 

Morgan: With us. 

Em: 100%. 

Taylar: So that’s the new motto: “You get shot in the chest, I hope you live.” So– [chuckles] 

Em: [chuckles] You live, yeah. Well, um, thank you everyone who submitted stories. And thank you again, both of you, for coming on and telling the stories with me. Um– 

Taylar: Of course. It’s so much fun, guys. 

Morgan: Of course. [makes half a heart with her hand] 

Taylar: We love coming over here and hanging out with you any chance that we get. 

Morgan: Wait, where’s Taylar? [switches the half-heart to her other hand, holding it up in the air. Onscreen, Taylar’s video is on the left side of the screen with Em in the middle and Morgan on the far right of the screen. Morgan holds her hand up to the left side of her video.] 

Taylar: I’m over here, but– [tries to make the other half of the heart, but it’s facing the wrong way] 

Em: Oh, y’all are broken. You got to do it the other way, girl. 

Taylar: The– [On the left side of the screen, Taylar switches directions, holding her hand up to form the other half of the heart as if trying to touch it to Morgan’s half to make a complete heart.] 

Morgan: Oh, really? Are you in the middle? 

Taylar: Go this way. 

Morgan: Oh, I’m in the middle. 

Em: Y– 

Morgan: Oh, wait. [flips her hand around to form the left-side of the heart, but now Taylar and Morgan are both making the same half of the heart now.[ 

Em: Oh my god. Oh, wow. 

Taylar: Now, Em. Do it with Em now, Morgan. 

Em: I– Where are we? I– We’re all in different spots. [holds both hands up to form two separate halves of hearts and holding them up to both sides of their video] 

Taylar: Go that way now. [points to the right] Y– Em– Yeah. 

[Em drops their left hand, holding their hand up to the right as Morgan flips her hand back around, almost completing the heart before Em switches hands in confusion.] 

Taylar: Yeah, you’re right– No, Em. Go back to where you were. 

[Em switches back to holding their left hand up to the right side.] 

Em: [laughs] 

Taylar: Now go up a little. 

[Em moves their hand slightly higher. Morgan is still holding her hand up in position, but she switches from using all of her fingers to form the half heart to just her index and middle finger.] 

Taylar: Oh no. Not the Gen Z one. 

Morgan: [laughs, switching back to using all of her fingers in a C-shape.] 

Taylar: You’re showing, you’re showing our like deepest, darkest secret. 

Em: Yeah, I– 

Morgan: Is this really right, you guys? 

Taylar: Yeah, that’s right. Y’all are together. 

[As Em and Morgan hold their hands up, a rough heart shape across the two videos forms.] 

Morgan: This just looks like “C” and “C” to me. 

Em: No, you have to– 

Morgan: Creeps and Crimes. 

Taylar: [laughs] 

Em: You have to point the thumb down, so it does the little, the little– the thing. 

[Em holds their other hand up to show a complete heart with their thumbs pointing down together to form the bottom of the heart.] 

Taylar: My thumb doesn’t go down like that. 

Morgan: Sorry about that. [chuckles] Not all of us can do that. 

Em: Is that why all of you people started doing this shit or whatever it is? What is this? Is it that?  

[Em makes half a heart, pointing their middle finger down and curving their index finger.] 

Morgan: This hurts me. [tries to point her thumb down further like Em did] 

Taylar: Okay, but we never did that. I did the one with the fire. [makes half a heart with her thumb forming the bottom of the heart and curving the index finger as the top, leaving the other three fingers up in the air.] 

Em: The fire? Oh my god. 

Taylar: [makes a full heart using her index fingers and thumbs, leaving her other fingers straight up] 

Em: By the way, for people listening and not knowing what’s going on, we’re trying to figure out between our generational gap what the hell we make a heart look like with our hands. 

Taylar: We’re like, like five years younger than you. Like, okay, come on. 

Em: [laughs] 

Taylar: Come on. 

Em: You’re on the cusp, and you know it. 

Morgan: I can’t put my thumb down though. 

Taylar: We’re– 

Morgan: Like that, that really hurts. 

Taylar: –zillenials. 

Em: No, ’cause you have to do it like this. [makes “C” shapes with both hands, connecting them together and angling their hands downwards] That’s the heart. That’s– 

Morgan: Yeah. 

Em: Is that– Does that not look like a heart to, to your kind? 

Morgan: No, it does. It’s perfect heart. 

Taylar: This is, this is how I grew up doing it. [makes a heart the same way as Em] 

Morgan: Me too. 

Em: Okay. That’s how I always do it too. 

Taylar: And then I like the fire. [switches to the heart shape with just the index and thumb forming the heart and the other fingers standing up in the air] 

Em: But now, what’s your little like weird Blood sign or whatever? Is that it? [makes a heart with just the index and middle fingers] 

Taylar: This is what people do these days. [makes the heart with just the index and middle fingers] 

Em: Okay. 

Taylar: This is what my little sisters do. 

Morgan: You mean this? [holding her hand in front of them, pointing her thumb and middle finger straight out with her index and ring fingers bent down, forming half of the gang symbol for the Bloods] 

Em: Which I get it. It looks like a heart, sure. 

Taylar: No, don’t do that, Morgan. Don’t do that, Morgan. [laughs] 

Morgan: Em said it. 

Em: [laughs] 

Taylar: Morgan’s like– 

Em: Well, I mean, I remember doing that too and thinking, “Wow, I’m so cool.” 

Taylar: Yeah, I did too. I’m like, “No, no, no. I’m scared. I’m scared.” 

Morgan: Yeah, who taught us that actually? 

Taylar: I don’t know. 

Em: I love how the true crime one’s like, “You better fucking knock it off.” 

Taylar: I’m like, “Please wrap it up. I don’t want to be a part of that.” [laughs] 

Em: [laughs] 

Morgan: Well, who taught us that? 

Em: Uh, middle school. 

Taylar: My fourth grade teacher, I guess. I don’t know. I’ve been doing it for– 

Em: My fingers can still muscle memory into that, which is the scariest part. 

Taylar: Me too. I could just definitely do it if I was feeling like it. I’m really scared, so– 

Em: [laughs] 

Morgan: [laughs] 

Taylar: It's like saying the, the demonic name. I don’t, I don’t wanna– I don’t want any of that smoke. I don’t want any of that. 

Morgan: I don’t even think it’s like their symbol though. 

Taylar: It’s definitely not any– 

Em: No. It’s ju– 

Taylar: Not anymore at the very least. They for sure had a brand change after all the fourth-graders learned how. 

Em: No, once they realized 12-year-olds could do it– 

Morgan: After the whole world– 

Em: –they were like, “I think we should.” 

Morgan: It’s like– It was like our 67 to do that. 

Em: [laughs] It was. Oh man. 

Taylar: I hate 67. 

Morgan: 89. 

Taylar: It really pisses me off. [laughs] 

Em: [sighs] 

Taylar: 89. 

Em: Well, uh, man, I don’t know how we got here, but anyway, I guess– 

Taylar: [sighs] 

Em: –i-imagine a heart in your head, everybody. Whichever way it looks in your head, that’s what– 

Taylar: Whichever way it looks in your head. 

Em: –that’s what we were doing. Um, no, thank you for coming on. Thank you everyone who submitted. Um, good luck, everyone, in 2026. I just– uh, I don’t want to make any expectations. 

Taylar: Nope. 

Em: Just good luck to all of us. 

Taylar: Yeah. 

Em: Uh, and reminder that January 4, where usually there would be an episode, we are going to be taking our first day off, uh, and very excited about that. Uh, thank you to everyone who is gonna be understanding and kind in the comments so my paranoia, um, is not justified. That’d be great. 

Morgan: Which is going to be everyone! Or Morgan and Taylar are going to come after you. 

Em: [laughs] 

Taylar: And y’all, we don’t play that shit. We really don’t. 

[Taylar and Morgan both raise a fist up into a fighting stance.] 

Morgan: Show yourself! 

Taylar: Show, show yourself. Power Rangers! [laughs] 

Em: [chuckles] I, I don’t know how to do the “and that’s why we drink” amongst three different people, but. And– [gestures with their hands vaguely for someone to continue] 

Morgan: That’s– 

Taylar: Why– 

Em: We– 

Morgan: We– Aw… 

Taylar: Drink! 

Em: Drink! 

Morgan: Drink! 

Taylar: [chuckles] 

Em: Okay, great. Thanks! 

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